# You're not a pet parent, you're a pet owner **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 28, 2013, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888 "2013-04-28T04:23:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/101 "2013-04-30T11:57:19Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Babies’ll do that too, if they get hungry enough. 😃 Well, they WOULD, if they had any teeth. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/102 "2013-04-30T12:14:54Z")
> [@bump](#): > > How do you get that? My point was that people who pretend (and yes, it is pretending) that they’re their pets’ parents is something that is mildly offensive because it trivializes actual parenting. This is the same stupid justification that opponents of gay marriage use. “You can’t use my label on your thing because that will somehow make my thing less valuable/important/sanctimonious/whatever”. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/103 "2013-04-30T15:13:42Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Well, they WOULD, if they had any teeth. Never underestimate the power of truly motivated gums. Remember, all they have to do is get through that first layer of skin, and then there’s all that soft stuff underneath. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![chargerrich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chargerrich/32/5399_2.png) [@chargerrich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chargerrich)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/104 "2013-04-30T15:33:01Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Why do we spend exorbitant amounts of money trying to save preemie babies, or babies born with severe handicaps? There are lots of babies and kids who are in the foster system just waiting for a family to love them. And, after all, it just takes a year to have another baby yourself, in most cases. That anyone would even attempt to compare a dying dog to a premature baby is disturbing and speak volumes for the point made by the OP. ---
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/105 "2013-04-30T15:40:42Z")
> [@chargerrich](#): > > That anyone would even attempt to compare a dying dog to a premature baby is disturbing and speak volumes for the point made by the OP. +1 ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/106 "2013-04-30T16:17:52Z")
This is the drowning panda vs drowning infant debate all over again, isn’t it? Just with a different name? Let’s move this thread to the pit already and really get crackin’. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/107 "2013-04-30T16:26:22Z")
Okay, I won’t call my dog my baby anymore. Can I still call him my widdle woochy-smoochy-poochy? Regards, Shodan Purveyer of Treats, Walks, and Belly Scritchers since 2011 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/108 "2013-04-30T17:52:12Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Eh, one of my cats makes a vocalization that sounds just like Mama. Good enough? She’s very smart, she said it accidentally, I made a big fuss about it, and now she says it when she wants attention. She hasn’t managed to say Daddy yet. Has your cat been around any Spanish-speakers or have you left the TV on Univision while she’s in the room? She could be attempting to say (in rough translation, as befitting a cat’s abilities) “suck on this!” Which, admittedly, is somewhat less endearing. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/109 "2013-04-30T18:04:35Z")
> [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](#): > > This is the same stupid justification that opponents of gay marriage use. “You can’t use my label on your thing because that will somehow make my thing less valuable/important/sanctimonious/whatever”. It’s just as hard, if not harder to raise a child if you’re gay, and just as easy to own a pet if you’re gay as if you’re straight. My point was that being the parent of a child is exhausting, stressful, and intense in a way that having a dog or cat just isn’t. Saying you’re the dog’s parents is about as stupid and foolish as your boss at a civilian job calling themselves your “commanding officer”, because being a commanding officer in the military often comes with life or death responsibilities that civilian managers rarely if ever have to deal with. That’s what I’m getting at- having a pet and calling yourself it’s “parent” is much the same kind of thing- a cutesy, foolish and insulting thing to do to people who have children. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/110 "2013-04-30T18:08:23Z")
Parenthood is SERIOUS BUSINESS! If not, you are doing it WRONG! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Skara\_Brae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Skara\_Brae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skara_Brae)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/111 "2013-04-30T19:00:08Z")
> [@bump](#): > > It’s just as hard, if not harder to raise a child if you’re gay, and just as easy to own a pet if you’re gay as if you’re straight. > > My point was that being the parent of a child is exhausting, stressful, and intense in a way that having a dog or cat just isn’t. > > Saying you’re the dog’s parents is about as stupid and foolish as your boss at a civilian job calling themselves your “commanding officer”, because being a commanding officer in the military often comes with life or death responsibilities that civilian managers rarely if ever have to deal with. > > That’s what I’m getting at- having a pet and calling yourself it’s “parent” is much the same kind of thing- a cutesy, foolish and insulting thing to do to people who have children. Why are you so wrapped up in what people call their pets? Does it really take anything away from what you do as a parent? You know its not the same thing (and I am sure most pet owners know that too…) It really seems like you want to rub their faces in the fact that you are better than they are… You remind me of [this guy](http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/3523144236/douche-alert-theres-a-certain-type-of-guy-who). ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/112 "2013-04-30T19:03:34Z")
> [@bump](#): > > My point was that being the parent of a child is exhausting, stressful, and intense in a way that having a dog or cat just isn’t. What do you want, a cookie? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/113 "2013-04-30T19:08:26Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Saying you’re the dog’s parents is about as stupid and foolish as your boss at a civilian job calling themselves your “commanding officer”, because being a commanding officer in the military often comes with life or death responsibilities that civilian managers rarely if ever have to deal with. Really? I can’t fathom anyone being offended by a boss calling himself a commanding officer. I mean, other than a person who takes themselves wayyyy too seriously. > [@](#): > > That’s what I’m getting at- having a pet and calling yourself it’s “parent” is much the same kind of thing- a cutesy, foolish and insulting thing to do to people who have children. No, it isn’t. It’s only insulting to people who are insecure about how they are viewed as parents. It sounds like you are one such person, perhaps because you have invalidating friends. I’m sure your choice to become a parent has resulted in a lot of stress, but that has fuck-all to do with my choice of affectionate terminology for my cat. For one thing, not all babies and parents are human, you know. [Does this offend you too?](http://www.amazon.com/Mother-Bright-Early-Board-Books/dp/0679890475) Nobody is setting out to make any kind of specific statement about what your parenting experience is like, but you are bending over backward to decide what the pet ownership experience should be like. You came out swinging, essentially implying that people without children are a drain on society, and are surprised that you are getting push-back? Come on. Having a child is an inherently selfish decision. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s not like some higher calling - from a purely utilitarian perspective, it’s an inefficient use of human resources. It’s something you do because you want to do it, because you find meaning in it and your life is better for it. That’s the only reason anybody ever does anything, and if they tell you otherwise, they are lying. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/114 "2013-04-30T19:15:57Z")
> [@bump](#): > > That’s what I’m getting at- having a pet and calling yourself it’s “parent” is much the same kind of thing- a cutesy, foolish and insulting thing to do to people who have children. As a person who has children, I would like to just say that this does not insult me in the slightest. WTF do I care what someone calls their pet? (As long as they don’t call it a “furkid” where I can hear them, because that just skeeves me out. But it’s not insulting. Just skeevy.) ---
**Author:** ![Long\_Time\_First\_Time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@Long\_Time\_First\_Time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Long_Time_First_Time)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/115 "2013-04-30T19:33:09Z")
Agree about the fur baby thing -it’s creepy. Perhaps because it invites someone to extend the fur - to other human relationships. If I met someone who had a dog, and they introduced it to me as their Fur-Husband or Fur-Wife… well, it would really creep me out. I’m a large animal veterinarian, and it sort of creeps me out when horse owners kiss their horses while I’m examining them or working on them. I would never say anything, but it strikes me as pretty gross. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/116 "2013-04-30T19:43:45Z")
> [@Long\_Time\_First\_Time](#): > > I’m a large animal veterinarian, and it sort of creeps me out when horse owners kiss their horses while I’m examining them or working on them. I would never say anything, but it strikes me as pretty gross. Eh, I don’t see anything wrong with it, and I’m not even a horse person. Unless it’s on the lips, of course. Then it’s _totally_ creepy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/117 "2013-04-30T20:49:00Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Think of it this way. Pets keep up childfree people happy and content enough so they’ll cover for folks at work when there are schools emergencies, dance recitals, family trips to Disney world, or the ever popular maternity leave. Because all people who have kids are slackers who’ll use any old child-related excuse to skip out of work, and all pet owners are ever-ready and willing to jump in and shoulder all of the burden? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/118 "2013-04-30T21:13:50Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > No, it isn’t. It’s only insulting to people who are insecure about how they are viewed as parents. It sounds like you are one such person, perhaps because you have invalidating friends. I’m sure your choice to become a parent has resulted in a lot of stress, but that has fuck-all to do with my choice of affectionate terminology for my cat. For one thing, not all babies and parents are human, you know. [Does this offend you too?](http://www.amazon.com/Mother-Bright-Early-Board-Books/dp/0679890475) > > Nobody is setting out to make any kind of specific statement about what your parenting experience is like, but you are bending over backward to decide what the pet ownership experience should be like. You came out swinging, essentially implying that people without children are a drain on society, and are surprised that you are getting push-back? Come on. Having a child is an inherently selfish decision. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s not like some higher calling - from a purely utilitarian perspective, it’s an inefficient use of human resources. It’s something you do because you want to do it, because you find meaning in it and your life is better for it. That’s the only reason anybody ever does anything, and if they tell you otherwise, they are lying. I’m probably overreacting, but it’s just one of those things that irks the shit out of me when I’m out with people and someone leaves early or doesn’t show because of “their babies”, when they’re really referring to their dogs. They’re not babies, and they’re not even really comparable. It’s the language that gets me, not the fact that they love their pets. Had they said their dogs’ names or “the dogs” then it wouldn’t have bothered me in the least, but calling them “the kids” or “our babies” just irks me and strikes me as more than a little pathetic, like they’re playing make-believe parents with a dog or something. If they did the same thing with a doll, we’d think they were insane, but substitute a dog, and it’s all ok and normal, right? ---
**Author:** ![Skara\_Brae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Skara\_Brae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skara_Brae)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/119 "2013-04-30T21:25:48Z")
If they’re \*so \*pathetic, shouldn’t they have your pity, rather than your scorn? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888/120 "2013-04-30T21:30:38Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Had they said their dogs’ names or “the dogs” then it wouldn’t have bothered me in the least, but calling them “the kids” or “our babies” just irks me and strikes me as more than a little pathetic, like they’re playing make-believe parents with a dog or something. If they did the same thing with a doll, we’d think they were insane, but substitute a dog, and it’s all ok and normal, right? Well, I dunno about that. It seems to me there is a qualitative difference between a non-sentient toy and a living, breathing thing that has some semblance of a personality and an emotional life. (I really have no idea how my cat perceives me. I could be his sun and moon or I could be warm furniture. The truth is most likely somewhere in between. That mystery is part of the joy of pet ownership.) Like I said, I know there are people who really think their pets are kids, and I don’t get it. But I don’t think it’s fair to assume that every person who uses this kind of language is crazy like that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-pet-parent-youre-a-pet-owner/656888.md?page=7)