# You're now a Miracle Worker. What would you do to prove this to the world? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 7, 2021, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929 "2021-07-07T19:31:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/1 "2021-07-07T19:31:15Z")
I thought this would be a fun spinoff the thread in Great Debates. Here’s. the scenario. You’ve been given the power to work miracles, but with the following limitations. A. You can’t do anything to directly affect the minds of others. No snapping your fingers to miraculously make others believe in your special power. B. You can’t directly kill people / wish people dead. C. Miracles that will indirectly hurt others are also restricted. No making the sun go supervova. No wishing a gun into existence to go on a shooting spree. You get the idea. D. The goal here is to get others to believe you can work miracles, not to enrich yourself. If you begin to abuse the power by miraculously altering the balance in your bank account to 10 billion dollars, your powers will disappear, and in a painful manner. Other than that, have it. Anything else goes. What miracles would you work? ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/2 "2021-07-07T19:36:35Z")
Raise and heal the dead. Reverse disasters, at least long enough to allow people to escape in time (e.g., the Champlain Towers South collapse). ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/3 "2021-07-07T19:41:13Z")
Do I have to be physically present at the place where the event will happen? (For example, if I want to cure a common disease, can I wave my hand and cure it globally, or do I have to go everywhere?) If the latter, do I have the miraculous power to be in more than one place at a time? ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Sponge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dark_sponge/32/121_2.png) [@Dark\_Sponge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Sponge)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/4 "2021-07-07T19:50:43Z")
Seems a crap deal if my primary motivation is to make people believe in me. Can I do whatever I want as long as it is for “the greater good?” I’d be tempted to wear a green suit w/ green ring and start fighting crime. ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/5 "2021-07-07T20:18:11Z")
Bring out you dead! [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/W4rR-OsTNCg/hqdefault.jpg "Monty Python and Holy Grail, bring out the dead") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4rR-OsTNCg) And then I’d bring them back. Even the one I knocked out. See I could kill people and then bring them back. That may even be fun and would get attention. Murder conviction thrown out when victim testifies that the person who killed him brings him back to life. ---
**Author:** ![mikecurtis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikecurtis/32/3284_2.png) [@mikecurtis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikecurtis)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/6 "2021-07-07T20:25:14Z")
> [@FlikTheBlue](#): > > The goal here is to get others to believe you can work miracles, I hope you don’t consider this threadshitting… But why would this be my goal? Isn’t me knowing enough? Why wouldn’t I just perform the miracles anonymously? ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/7 "2021-07-07T20:28:15Z")
I think I’ll just do a very simple ‘impossible’ thing, but do it over and over at the place and location viewers/investigators want. Set up: get a handful of little iron things, like washers or nails or tacks and the like. Ask the investigators to bring along a magnet or two. Then I show them the magnet picks up the iron gizmos as expected. Then I say “abracadabra” and show the magnet no longer attracts the iron stuff at all. And that’s it. I turn the magnetism of the magnet on and off, over and over, as many times and with as many magnets as investigators want to bring me. I think demonstrating the power to cancel/reinstate one of the basic forces of the universe should damn well establish I have supernatural abilities, right? OTOH, why do I want to prove that I have supernatural abilities? All I can see it doing is making me ‘of interest’ to all sorts of people, official and criminal, and where’s the good in that? ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/8 "2021-07-07T20:32:02Z")
Provide enough of a supply of all useful trace elements in convenient ingot form to make all of them cheaply, easily, and casually usable for anyone. Like, there are now a billion tons each of gold, silver, platinum, etc., ingots spread around the world. (Of course this could indirectly harm others by making lots of rich people into poor people. And gotta be careful with the reactive metals.) ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/9 "2021-07-07T20:39:55Z")
Post an announcement on social media, “On MM/DD/YYYY, at hh:mm GMT, every nuclear, biological, and chemical weapon in the world will become inoperable.” A few days later, post an announcement on social media, “On MM/DD/YYYY, at hh:mm GMT, all of the plastic garbage in the oceans will disappear.” A few days later, post an announcement on social media, “On MM/DD/YYYY, at hh:mm GMT, the excess carbon in the atmosphere will be transformed into gem-quality brilliant-cut diamonds the size of basketballs.” A few days later, post an announcement on social media, “On my birthday, at noon local time, every woman on the planet will have an orgasm.” ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/10 "2021-07-07T20:42:11Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > Post an announcement on social media, “On MM/DD/YYYY, at hh:mm GMT, every nuclear, biological, and chemical weapon in the world will become inoperable.” This sounds like a swift way to get yourself assassinated by every WMD-owning nation on Earth, if you actually do carry through with it. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/11 "2021-07-07T20:52:06Z")
There is a Democrat in the White House. I am doing things that will accomplish his stated goals, without any of the politically unpopular things he would be required to do otherwise. I think he will protect the golden goose. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/12 "2021-07-07T20:55:14Z")
I don’t want to fight the hypothetical, but I’m sure as hell gonna use my miracle powers to make myself and my loved ones invulnerable before I go out and challenge many of the world’s major religions. Then I’m going to keep it simple. I won’t affect people’s minds. Rather, I’ll affect light, such that anyone looking at the night sky will see, written in new constellations and in a language they can read (including emojis for those who can’t read), the simple message: “LEFT HAND OF DORKNESS CAN WORK MIRACLES. COOL, HUH?” The message will appear for thirty seconds for each person the first time they look up at the night sky, each night for a year. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/13 "2021-07-07T21:03:27Z")
I want to see the emoji translation. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/14 "2021-07-07T21:13:56Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Raise and heal the dead. That worked out so well the last time someone tried it. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/15 "2021-07-07T21:46:12Z")
Make amputees regrow their missing bits. Lots of faith healers and miracles workers cast out demons, make the blind see, deaf hear, the lame walk… nobody has ever induced limb regeneration before. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/16 "2021-07-07T21:51:15Z")
Gotta go with @mikecurtis here. Why it the hell would I want people to _know_ I can work miracles? That’s just asking for, nay demanding assassination, but not before being inundated by every huckster, con man and parasite on the planet. Plus all the people that really _need_ a miracle. Better to work behind the scenes. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/17 "2021-07-07T21:54:09Z")
I like it. (I might leave a few tac-nukes in the hands of some Democracies) Although I would go for golf ball sized diamonds, maybe even pea sized. Millions of basketball carbons crystals crashing down would cause serious damage. This would also put DeBeers out of business, a nice side effect. And I would post anonymously. The other way to do it is deny the miracles. Then the media will try to prove they happen. Two Scotus members will retire, with full benefits and honors (why not?). Homeless camps, made out of surplus shipping containers will appear, with central bath and cook houses. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/18 "2021-07-07T21:57:00Z")
Yeah, that’s one you just do, and don’t announce at all. I’m with @silenus and @mikecurtis; you just do your miracles and keep it on the down low. Nobody has to know that _you_ caused it to rain in California, or that every carbon-capturing natural process is miraculously improved enough to gradually offset current and future carbon emissions, and even remove it from the atmosphere until it’s at the natural normal. Or that GOP legislators in Texas are struck with violent and intractable diarrhea when they campaign in person. None of those miracles need attribution. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/19 "2021-07-07T21:59:24Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Or that GOP legislators in Texas are struck with violent and intractable diarrhea when they campaign in person. Nice touch. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/20 "2021-07-07T22:00:26Z")
He did ask for miracles… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929.md?page=2)