# You're now a Miracle Worker. What would you do to prove this to the world? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 7, 2021, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929 "2021-07-07T19:31:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/21 "2021-07-07T22:27:42Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Although I would go for golf ball sized diamonds, maybe even pea sized. Millions of basketball carbons crystals crashing down would cause serious damage. I would materialize them safely on the ground. Just like I would transport nuclear submarines to their home ports before I confiscated the uranium in their reactors. > [@DrDeth](#): > > Two Scotus members will retire, with full benefits and honors (why not?). > [@FlikTheBlue](#): > > You can’t do anything to directly affect the minds of others. > [@bump](#): > > Or that GOP legislators in Texas are struck with violent and intractable diarrhea when they campaign in person. > [@FlikTheBlue](#): > > Miracles that will indirectly hurt others are also restricted. Let the record show that it was not the right-wingers whose thoughts immediately went to mind control and physical attacks. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/22 "2021-07-07T22:34:40Z")
That’s not a physical attack. It’s education. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/23 "2021-07-07T22:45:32Z")
It seems calculated to intimidate voters of the opposing party. I thought liberals were supposed to be against that sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/24 "2021-07-07T22:52:55Z")
> [@mikecurtis](#): > > But why would this be my goal? Isn’t me knowing enough? Why wouldn’t I just perform the miracles anonymously? Seriously, I’d love to work a miracle or three. But why would I want to convince the world that I can? I don’t need or want the related fame or infamy. That would be horrible, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/25 "2021-07-07T22:55:13Z")
I wouldn’t want everybody to know that I had such powers…but since that is what the OP wants, that is what the OP gets. For the period of one day, I would put my face on every billboard in the world, stick my name and number in every cellphone, and give everyone around the world the ability to understand and speak Klingon fluently. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/26 "2021-07-07T23:03:25Z")
[yIDoghQo’!](https://www.kli.org/about-klingon/klingon-phrases/) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2021, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/27 "2021-07-07T23:07:57Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > I would materialize them safely on the ground. Just like I would transport nuclear submarines to their home ports before I confiscated the uranium in their reactors. That is harmless. It is the nukes on board that is dangerous. Not mind control, something wonderful will happen to them that they will _want to retire._ ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/28 "2021-07-08T01:51:26Z")
I may have botched the OP a little. For those who have continued reading the thread, here’s the somewhat modified hypothetical. First, the goal is to prove to humanity as a whole that a miracle has occurred. Trying to keep things secret is fighting the hypothetical. Second, in order to try to keep with the spirit of the other thread and make this one a little more interesting, you only get to perform one miracle. I leave it to you all to decide for yourselves what constitutes one vs. multiple miracles. The other restrictions about not using the power for evil remain in place. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/29 "2021-07-08T01:58:20Z")
> [@FlikTheBlue](#): > > Second, in order to try to keep with the spirit of the other thread and make this one a little more interesting, you only get to perform one miracle. In that case, I’ll stick with giving everyone the ability to speak and understand Klingon fluently. No one is compelled to speak it, it does no harm, and I can’t think of any way to replicate such a feat scientifically. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/30 "2021-07-08T02:53:29Z")
Heal the sick, raise the dead, stop natural disasters, create new technologies out of thin air that make the world a better place. If people believe me, great. But even if they don’t its still worth it. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/31 "2021-07-08T03:00:35Z")
Who said I’m a liberal? I just think the GOP has gone entirely off the rails in the past decade between the Tea Party and Trumpism, and something harmless but embarrassing like violent diarrhea would potentially be enough to tip the scales, if all GOP politicians had that affliction. If you’re worried about dehydration or electrolytes or something, substitute “uncontrollable burping and violent loud farting” if you prefer. That never hurt anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/32 "2021-07-08T03:00:43Z")
> [@FlikTheBlue](#): > > I may have botched the OP a little. For those who have continued reading the thread, here’s the somewhat modified hypothetical. > > First, the goal is to prove to humanity as a whole that a miracle has occurred. Trying to keep things secret is fighting the hypothetical. > > Second, in order to try to keep with the spirit of the other thread and make this one a little more interesting, you only get to perform one miracle. I leave it to you all to decide for yourselves what constitutes one vs. multiple miracles. > > The other restrictions about not using the power for evil remain in place. Missed this part. For one day, Iet all humans who live and who have ever lived share a consciousness. Everyone can enter anyone elses consciousness, see their thoughts and feel their feelings. You can reach out to anyone to communicate to them or merge your consciousness. You can speak to dead people, enter the mind of people on the other side of the world, etc. Being John Malkovich times 110 billion. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/33 "2021-07-08T03:10:31Z")
How would this not be classified as “evil”? ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/34 "2021-07-08T03:14:20Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/mkvbZ-e795k/hqdefault.jpg "Cosmo Kramer pizza idea") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkvbZ-e795k) ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/35 "2021-07-08T03:14:53Z")
With the new stipulations, give everyone the power to create happiness in their lives. I’m not sure if this one is against the not affecting people’s minds rule, but I wouldn’t make them happy, just give them the power to make themselves happy. In an instant and on command. They might not know I created it, but they’d sure know that some kind of miracle took place. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/36 "2021-07-08T03:16:03Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > With the new stipulations, give everyone the power to create happiness in their lives. > > I’m not sure if this one is against the not affecting people’s minds rule, but I wouldn’t make them happy, just give them the power to make themselves happy. In an instant and on command. > > They might not know I created it, but they’d sure know that some kind of miracle took place. I like this one. ---
**Author:** ![TheGunIsMightierThanThePen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thegunismightierthanthepen/32/2981_2.png) [@TheGunIsMightierThanThePen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheGunIsMightierThanThePen)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/37 "2021-07-08T04:18:52Z")
Originally I was going to make everyone immortal, immune to pain, and sterile. But that might not count as just one miracle (and would sterility be considered hurting others?) Soooo … other possibilties: - Enact universal health care in the USA - Make all printers work flawlessly and with full functionality - Remove aggression from people, resulting in world peace ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/38 "2021-07-08T05:55:33Z")
> [@TheGunIsMightierThanThePen](#): > > Remove aggression from people, resulting in world peace > **[The End of the Whole Mess](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_End_of_the_Whole_Mess)** > > "The End of the Whole Mess" is a short science fiction story by American writer Stephen King, first published in Omni Magazine in 1986. It was collected in King's Nightmares & Dreamscapes in 1993 and in Wastelands: Stories of the Apocalypse in 2008. The story is written in the form of a personal journal, and tells the story of the narrator Howard Fornoy's genius younger brother's attempt to cure humanity's aggressive tendencies. > A TV adaptation of the story was produced by TNT as part of Nightma... ---
**Author:** ![Esprise\_Me](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprise_me/32/2947_2.png) [@Esprise\_Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprise_Me)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/39 "2021-07-08T06:16:16Z")
If I wanted to prove my miracle-working superpower, I would ask the person I was trying to prove it to to design the test. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929/40 "2021-07-08T10:00:41Z")
I believe the test involves doing one thing to convince as many people as possible. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-now-a-miracle-worker-what-would-you-do-to-prove-this-to-the-world/945929.md?page=3)