# You're offered the chance to attend a live sex party. (No coitus for you, though.) Do you take it?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [March 10, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558 "2013-03-10T18:19:06Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/1 "2013-03-10T18:19:06Z")
Early one evening, while vacationing in a city where you know no one, you and a friend are having drinks in a quiet bar (or coffeeshop, if you’re a teetotaler). While there, you see a conservatively dressed, and perhaps vaguely familiar person walking around, saying hello to some but not all patrons, and handing them an envelope. If you’re a straight male or lesbian, please assume the young person is a hot young woman; if you’re a gay male or straight woman, a hot young man. Eventually your turn comes. Up close, you see that the young person was even hotter than you thought at a distance. When you get your envelope, you open and find that it contains a letter and a second envelope. The letter says:
\*Hi. My name is Pat, and I’m the significant other of Chris, who owns this establishment. Tonight marks a pair of milestones for me; it’s the end of my twenties, and my exit from porn. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve loved my career and don’t feel remotely exploited, but I’ve decided to move on to other things, so as of next week it’s grad school for me! Anyway, though I’ve done my last professional shoot, I want to do one for me and Kris that caters only to our own desires, not the market. In my case that involves having a certain sort of sex in front of strangers, who may participate in a limited way. For details on that, check the other envelope.
If you think you might like to witness this, and participate in a limited way, here are the rules. This establishment closes at midnight, and the party will be taking place in the basement half an hour after that. If you want to come, this letter will admit you. I won’t be having penetrative sex with anyone I haven’t already vetted (sorry, but I’m not nuts!), but if I gave you this letter it means I think you and our companion are kinda hot, so either or both of you will be allowed to manually stimulate me, and I you. No drugs stronger than coffee will be allowed at the party, and we’re giving that out for free. I understand that not everyone wants to have their face on film, so if that bothers you, we’ll be providing masks, which you may don before you come downstairs.
Thanks for your time, and hope to see you soon!\*
Opening the second envelope, you read its contents; the sort of sex Pat will be having is nothing you’re opposed to, and definitely something you find arousing to contemplate watching.
Assuming that you have no schedule conflicts and nothing to do the next day (i.e, you can stay up as long as you want), do you accept the invitation? Why or why not?
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### Author:  [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/2 "2013-03-10T18:33:34Z")
I’ll go but I’m not interested in participating in any way.\
Who doesn’t love a good train wreck?
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### Author:  [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/3 "2013-03-10T18:36:33Z")
That doesn’t sound at all appealing to me so I definitely wouldn’t go. And of course I wouldn’t try to get it shut down, doesn’t matter to me what they do.
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### Author:  [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/4 "2013-03-10T18:37:38Z")
I wouldn’t have sex with anyone at the party (I am happily married), but it would be a fascinating thing to witness. My own wild years never went beyond being the third to a couple, so I never saw a real orgy. If the people who didn’t wish to be identified wore masks, I think I’d enjoy being the event videographer.
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### Author:  [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/5 "2013-03-10T18:38:53Z")
No. Just not my scene.
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### Author:  [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/6 "2013-03-10T18:42:13Z")
_I would probably attend, contingent on_ how my friend felt about it and how I feel about my friend. I’m certainly not going alone, but if our relationship is one of those that inspire me to click “It’s complicated” on Facebook, I’m probably not going to go with him/her, either.
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### Author:  [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/7 "2013-03-10T20:42:29Z")
will there be Kopi luwak?
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### Author:  [@HipGnosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HipGnosis)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/8 "2013-03-10T20:44:28Z")
I would not go - I know this because I did not go when I actually had an opportunity.
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### Author:  [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/9 "2013-03-10T20:44:46Z")
> [@Shakes](#):
>
> Who doesn’t love a good train wreck?
it seems like there will be a train but not necessarily a wreck.
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### Author:  [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/10 "2013-03-10T20:57:28Z")
I would not go and I would not call the police.
I don’t see the police being interested anyways it’s a private party. I’ve been to a sex club (customer) and a bath house (employee) and it is definitely not my scene.
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### Author:  [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/11 "2013-03-10T21:13:52Z")
People do all sorts of things I have no interest in. I would decline politely, the same as if I were invited to a waterskiing party, a Nascar event, or a cooking demonstration for an all-chocolate buffet.
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### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/12 "2013-03-10T21:16:11Z")
I doubt I’d attend. Frankly, the vast majority of people just aren’t that attractive naked, so I probably wouldn’t find it appealing. If my husband had any interest in going, then I would.
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### Author:  [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/13 "2013-03-10T21:24:48Z")
I would go for a laugh if:
- The other people there were mildly attractive
- My SO were interested (which he probably wouldn’t be)
- It didn’t seem seedy or scary and it was clear I could get away if necessary
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### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/14 "2013-03-10T21:27:41Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#):
>
> I doubt I’d attend. Frankly, the vast majority of people just aren’t that attractive naked, so I probably wouldn’t find it appealing. If my husband had any interest in going, then I would.
Edit: Not that I’m fabulous or anything, but I’d have to be really fired up by hot participants to enjoy myself at a party like that, even if I was just watching.
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### Author:  [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/15 "2013-03-10T21:34:17Z")
> [@gracer](#):
>
> I would go for a laugh if:
>
> - The other people there were mildly attractive
> - My SO were interested (which he probably wouldn’t be)
> - It didn’t seem seedy or scary and it was clear I could get away if necessary
Seconded.
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### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/16 "2013-03-10T21:41:37Z")
I’m not the kind of person this kind of thing happens to (yeah, yeah, I know, start of every Penthouse letter), so I would probably assume that whatever it was that was going on, it isn’t what it appears to be. That said, though, if my companion showed an interest, I wouldn’t be completely averse to going along.
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### Author:  [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/17 "2013-03-10T21:47:37Z")
I would go just for the moderate novelty but wouldn’t want anything out of it sexually for myself. Honestly, I would be much more likely to laugh than so much as pop a boner. I have had friends (male and female) plus roommates (again male and female) have sex in front of me so many times I think effect wore off. I just never cared that much and they knew I didn’t so it wasn’t an issue. I was always the one that helped them fulfill their higher-risk sexual escapades like driving on a busy interstate highway while they had sex practically on top of me or being the lookout and cover while they had sex in public. Private party sex is pretty mundane even with people watching.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/18 "2013-03-10T21:50:51Z")
> [@Chronos](#):
>
> I’m not the kind of person this kind of thing happens to
I’m not sure what you mean, amigo. That is, you could mean that you don’t frequent places where sex parties are, um, frequent; but you could also mean that you don’t attract such situations. I don’t think the latter means much, as this is clearly an unusual circumstance.
Weird shit happens. When I was in my early-mid 30s, I was riding the trolley home on a Saturday night. A reasonably attractive woman boarded the trolley, struck up a conversation, and made it clear that she was from out of town and visiting the city for the weekend with the intention of having casual anonymous sex with a black man. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before; it was completely random. I’ve had sex strangers, but I’ve always had to work for it, and like most guys I got shot down 20 times for every time I succeeded.
No, I didn’t have sex with her, incidentally. I was trying to be a better person. I felt really stupid as soon as I got home.
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### Author:  [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/19 "2013-03-10T22:38:05Z")
I’d probably not go. If I’m not getting to fuck the hot guy, what’s the point?
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### Author:  [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2013, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/20 "2013-03-10T23:35:34Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> I was trying to be a better person. I felt really stupid as soon as I got home.
Lesson learned, right? 🙂
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