# You're offered the chance to attend a live sex party. (No coitus for you, though.) Do you take it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 10, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558 "2013-03-10T18:19:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/21 "2013-03-10T23:39:56Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Lesson learned, right? šŸ™‚ No, it was the right decision. It just didnā€™t FEEL like the right decision at that very moment. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/22 "2013-03-10T23:43:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Iā€™m not sure what you mean, amigo. That is, you could mean that you donā€™t frequent places where sex parties are, um, frequent; but you could also mean that you donā€™t attract such situations. Well, both, really. Physically, I ainā€™t all that. Iā€™m not saying itā€™s inconceivable that a hot woman might find me attractive, but if she does, itā€™ll probably be after talking with me for a while, not just from walking up to me at random in a coffee shop. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/23 "2013-03-10T23:53:24Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Well, both, really. Physically, I ainā€™t all that. Iā€™m not saying itā€™s inconceivable that a hot woman might find me attractive, but if she does, itā€™ll probably be after talking with me for a while, not just from walking up to me at random in a coffee shop. Well, she doesnā€™t want you to fuck her; she wants you to watch her fuck. Or get fucked. Anyway, weird stuff happens. Do I have to quote WATCHMEN to you again? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/24 "2013-03-10T23:53:45Z")
Would I do it now? No way. Itā€™s not something that my wife would either want to participate in, or be okay with my doing without her. Would I have done it back when I was single? Sure. While **Ferret Herder** ā€™s right that the vast majority of people just arenā€™t that attractive naked, these wouldnā€™t be the vast majority of people; these would be people that were ā€˜hotā€™ in the opinion of a 29 year old porn actor. Hell, back when I was single, in my 20s and early 30s, the vast majority of people I knew who were near my age _did_ look good naked, even without vetting by a 29 year old porn star. (That sure isnā€™t true at my current (late 50s) age. When some friends put a hot tub on their back deck a few years back and were thinking of hosting a hot tub party, I was very glad that they either dropped the idea or just didnā€™t invite us.) Unlike **Shagnasty** , Iā€™ve never watched anyone else have sex, so it would have been something new, rather than the same old same old. And the opportunity to get to play with an attractive womanā€™s private parts (and possibly be played with in return) wasnā€™t something Iā€™d have been likely to turn down. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/25 "2013-03-10T23:57:53Z")
I realize this is fighting the hypothetical, but I really donā€™t think Iā€™d be able to take this offer at face value. Iā€™d probably be thinking ā€œYeah right, and then when Iā€™m passed out from the drugged coffee your buddies gang rape me and you sell the video on the Internet. No thanks!ā€ If I were a man, Iā€™d probably assume that Iā€™d be presented with a large bill at the end of the evening and get my ass kicked if I didnā€™t pay. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/26 "2013-03-10T23:58:29Z")
ā€¦contingent on I bring my weapons which I usually carry in my person. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/27 "2013-03-11T00:02:27Z")
Well, no. The orgy crowd in my area are the house boaters on Lake Lanier NE of Atlanta, all well-upholstered, dull & politically conservative. I have no desire in watching a blobby mass of salon-tanned liver spots writhing on the same carpet that the family dog had earlier itched his anus on. ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/28 "2013-03-11T00:08:06Z")
I would totally go, contingent on me being able to verify that it is totally legit, and I wonā€™t be drugged/robbed/punked something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/29 "2013-03-11T00:18:47Z")
Iā€™m not into hand-jobs. I do that on my own, and I do it better than a strange hand that has never grasped my dong before. I have preferences, dammit! I need orifices baby. ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/30 "2013-03-11T00:20:55Z")
Strictly reading the OP, Iā€™d almost certainly attend unless I was getting an unusually bad vibe from other invitees. Sex is interesting, and, hey, Iā€™m usually bored. The only big downside to the scenario is that the person in question is formally a porn performer. Nothing morally against porn, but I generally find ā€œporn styleā€ sex to be a turn-off. I like sex, but I donā€™t like ā€œsex performance,ā€ generally speaking. **Skald** , I know you donā€™t come down to where I work and slap the ennui out of my mouth, but I think you overdecorated your hypothetical here. This borders on a yes-or-no question. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/31 "2013-03-11T00:22:37Z")
How significant can this ā€œotherā€ be if they canā€™t even get thier name straight? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/32 "2013-03-11T00:27:37Z")
Twice in my life Iā€™ve had the opportunity to attend a sex party as an observer. Twice I went. Yes, Iā€™d go again and watch. Sorta like being offered NFL tickets. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/33 "2013-03-11T00:46:13Z")
Iā€™m there. Life is short and how often will I get an opportunity like this? I might even participate, if I felt comfortable enough. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/34 "2013-03-11T02:35:34Z")
I actually once was invited to attend a ā€œPlushieā€ party ā€“ where people have sex with their stuffed plush toys. (ā€œIā€™ve seen things no teddy bear should see.ā€) I politely declinedā€¦ (But Iā€™ve been curious ever since, about what I missed!) ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/35 "2013-03-11T02:38:07Z")
Yes definitely. Iā€™d be as embarrassed as hell for the first few minutes or so but I couldnā€™t pass up an opportunity like that! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/36 "2013-03-11T02:39:27Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Yes definitely. Iā€™d be as embarrassed as hell for the first few minutes or so but I couldnā€™t pass up an opportunity like that! Yelling, ā€œDown in frontā€ is a major faux pas. FYI. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/37 "2013-03-11T02:46:44Z")
Nope, wouldnā€™t go. No interest. Wouldnā€™t try to shut it down eitherā€“none of my business what other people do with their evenings. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/38 "2013-03-11T04:33:03Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Iā€™m not the kind of person this kind of thing happens to (yeah, yeah, I know, start of every Penthouse letter), so I would probably assume that whatever it was that was going on, it isnā€™t what it appears to be. To say nothing of it being a debasement of science. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/39 "2013-03-11T04:51:01Z")
On the assumption that I would enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed BDSM parties, Iā€™d definitely attend. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558/40 "2013-03-11T04:55:56Z")
First of all, I cannot conceive of a hot guy named Pat. And why canā€™t he remember how to spell his partnerā€™s name (Chris vs. Kris)? Anyway . . . this event seems a lot tamer than many things Iā€™ve done IRL. But I might go if I have nothing else to do. But I donā€™t expect much. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-offered-the-chance-to-attend-a-live-sex-party-no-coitus-for-you-though-do-you-take-it/652558.md?page=3)