Kinda makes you wonder what thoughts might have been going through her mind: “Waste of good ambergris, that.”
Tomorrow night, I am going to a packed restaurant and I’m going to loudly announce, “Everyone’s dinner is on me!” then I’m going to puke on the floor. You’re welcome.
And perhaps, a hose.
Were you wearing a deadpan expression as you typed that? Priceless!!
It depends. Could take an hour, could take days or longer.
You should have told the bitch that you could shit all over the floor for her and maybe she could get two free meals out of it.
So in other words for the SIL to assume it was the restaurants fault would be at best a wild guess.
Quite a bit off the OP, but WTF. This is absolutely true I swear to Gwad:
Back in about '02 ('03? I’m not 100% sure). We were at a restaurant in Sarasota (my wife, me, our youngest son and our daughter. Our older son was in college and not with us). A man went into the bathroom which was rather close to our table.
And…
Proceeded to puke, and PUKE, and fucking PUKE so much we could hear him. We could hear him as though he were at our table puking:**
Doyouwannabuymybuick!!! Doyouwannabuymybuick!!!Doyouwannabuymybuick!!! Blah!!! Blah!!! Blah!!!**
Jebus Khrist!
Having inherited the sick sense of humor from both parents my kids joined myself and my wife in laughing hysterically.
We were then approached by a manager who asked what the problem was.
A family laughing together is a problem?
I advised him that someone was ill in the bathroom and very ill at that. Perhaps someone should check on him.
The manager told me that our meal was on the house, and asked us all to leave.
I…SHIT…YOU…NOT!!!:eek:
Puke is…good?
Just to clarify:SIL is not the SEB! SIL flagged down the manager for assistance. As soon as he arrived, SEB (a total stranger) popped up from nowhere to try for her freebie.
Anyway, thanks to all for your responses. Zyada dragged around feeling sick most of Monday, but is fine today. This thread helped her recovery greatly.
Very good news! I’m glad she’s feeling better. And thank you for the clarification.
I’m going to go against just about the whole rest of the thread and say: GROSS. I don’t know that I would have started shrieking about a free meal, or whatever, if I had been there but Zyada is an adult. My seven year old can make to a bathroom. Hell, I threw up in my mouth twice this morning (no lie) because I wasn’t making it to the toilet fast enough and that’s in my own house, not in a restaurant where people are eating. Glad she’s feeling better, but damn.
Ew!
Also, I’ve been wondering this since the first time I saw this thread. If somebody here started the opposite thread (OMG, I was at this restaurant and this woman started puking RIGHT BY MY TABLE!) how many people would chime in with A) sympathy for the OP (who would be the “self-entitled bitch” in this story) or B) calls for a complimentary meal, at the very least or C) utter contempt for the sick restaurant patron (Zyada in this story) or some combination of the three vs. how many people would defend the sick patron while shunning the OP for being a selfish dick?
Also, I want to acknowledge this because, for me anyway, it never, ever gets old and I lol’d.
Sometimes it just doesn’t give that much notice. My friend and I both discovered she was pregnant at the same time with her first. We were out for dinner, talking and laughing when the waitress arrived with our meals. J went green and made it as far as the corridor to the bathroom. During the next 8months she reacted the same way anytime she could smell broccoli. She didn’t eat out a lot during that time :). Broccoli is everywhere!
Yes, I’m pregnant now so I am aware of Sudden Vomit, hence the mouthful the other day. I actually woke up vomiting in my mouth.
It was very gross.
But I still rolled (literally; I’m in my third trimester which makes my Sudden Vomit a “Surprise! It’s VOMIT!” unexpected sort of vomit) out of bed and made it to the toilet.
Yeah, I’m pretty vomit phobic too and that would have absolutely ruined my meal. Like another poster mentioned, though, I think I would have just quickly dropped cash and left the restaurant, and my night would be kind of ruined. But I am REALLY vomit phobic and spent most of my last 10 hour flight with my blanket over my head and my hands in my ears because I was terrified that the man across the aisle from me was going to puke because he had mentioned being sick earlier.
Oh, and I would have been pretty pissed at Zyada too, fairly or not. Most adults can make it to the bathroom. Esp. if you sprint at the end when you know you have to.
Asking for other people’s experiences, because of course we only have our own to go by - do you not get vomit early warning signs? I get a very watery mouth and the back of my throat and jaws sort of start clenching and feeling, well, odd (kind of like there’s a spike in them) - then it’s time to get to the toilet. On the other hand, I’ve puked as an adult (that wasn’t alcohol-related) about two times (I don’t get stomach sicknesses at the top end) so I don’t have much to go on.
About three fourths of the time I DO get VEWS. In fact, I can usually tell when I get up whether that day is going to be a day when I can get out of the house or whether I’m going to need to be within 20 feet of a bathroom at all times. Some days, though, I’ll wake up and feel fine, go about my errands and feel fine, and then have about 5 seconds warning before everyone gets to see what I’ve had to eat for the last week. It’s part of the Joys of Living with IBS. And if you could come up with a way that I could get more warning, I’d love to hear it.
Also, one of the symptoms of Alzheimer’s is upchucking because the patient can’t swallow, or has difficulty swallowing.
Glad she’s feeling better. I must need to clean my monitor because I swear I read that the SEB was trying for her “freeble”.
The visual was that a hot mess of ‘Freeble’ would be served to SEB in a red bowl, under the table, and that her meal Might be free after she finished it.
All of it. Gristle and all.
You know, like “The Old 96er”?
I almost never throw up, but when I do it is very sudden. The last time I did (stress-induced gastrenteritis) I’d been lying down on top of the bed feeling like shit, then I got a stomach lurch, jumped off the bed and didn’t have time to make it to the bedroom’s own door. The very few times I threw up while in the car as a child it was a matter of lurch"Dad, stop" “What for, we”"DADSTOP"stops and managing not to throw up on myself or my brother but still not quite outside… (and for 8 years I was in charge of the “vomit bags” for that same brother, but with him I had more warning; it was 8 years because his stomach problems had been caused by a lego-like piece he’d swallowed and finally fixed themselves).
Being traumatized early in life about tring to ‘make it’ to the bathroom before puking made me realize it’s not something I’ll be encouraging myself or my kid to do.
The first funeral I ever attended was for for a classmates mother at our Catholic gradeschool when I was 7. The whole class attended. How did her mother die? Tried to ‘make it’ to the bathroom before puking and choked to death on her own vomit. Struck fear into 30 third graders. Still with me 33 years later.