# You're smart people, and I bet most of you DO it, so why in hell can't you spell it? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681 "2000-12-08T20:20:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/1 "2000-12-08T20:20:36Z")
I’m speaking, of course, of the word “masturbation.” I cringe every time I see some otherwise erudite SDMBer spell it “masterbation.” Listen up, folks: _Seinfeld_ aside, the word has NO connection to the word “master.” Those big kids in high school weren’t calling you a “master debater” while they were stuffing you into your locker. Get with the program. ---
**Author:** ![scratch1300](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@scratch1300](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch1300)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/2 "2000-12-08T20:28:34Z")
But is it **wacking off** or **whacking off**? ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/3 "2000-12-08T20:42:40Z")
I used to say that people were _wacked_ as in crazy, and people would correct my **speeling** saying that it should be whacked. I always had to tell people that wacked derives from wacky. Basically, I would say you’re whacking off since whack involves a physical movement. I don’t think **mastirbation** is a wacky sort of thing either. Finally, enough with the spelling threads. People type fast, and usually think faster than they type, which accounts for using wrong words (like the instead of to or things like that) and hitting wrong keys without realizing. We’ve all done the, and nobdy is purrfect. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/4 "2000-12-08T20:48:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scratch1300 \* > \*\*But is it **wacking off** or **whacking off**? \*\* The proper term is “punching the clown.” ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/5 "2000-12-08T20:52:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chef Troy \* > \*\*I’m speaking, of course, of the word “masturbation.” I cringe every time I see some otherwise erudite SDMBer spell it “masterbation.” > > Listen up, folks: _Seinfeld_ aside, the word has NO connection to the word “master.” Those big kids in high school weren’t calling you a “master debater” while they were stuffing you into your locker. Get with the program. \*\* Are yu fusrtated Cheffie? Whie dont yoo just go masterbait fur a whyle? Yull fele much betr. ---
**Author:** ![Show\_Biz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@Show\_Biz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Show_Biz)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/6 "2000-12-08T20:53:58Z")
The term here that puzzles me is “erudite SDMBer”. A bit of an uxo-moron (somethin my ex-wife would say) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/7 "2000-12-08T20:55:21Z")
“Polishing Flipper.” “Climbing Mount Baldy.” _I_ thought what **Cheffie** was getting on about was the “lose/loose” thing. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/8 "2000-12-08T20:57:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by c\_goat \* > **… enough with the spelling threads. People type fast, and usually think faster than they type, which accounts for using wrong words (like the instead of to or things like that) and hitting wrong keys without realizing.** Yes, but some things are clearly typing errors of the sort you describe, _e.g._ “teh” for “the” and so on, and some do look a lot more like spelling errors. > [@](#): > > \*We’ve all done the, and nobdy is purrfect. \*\* - Caats ar purrfect. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/9 "2000-12-08T21:04:06Z")
In honor of our former Surgeon General, who was fired for advocating its being taught as part of the public school sex ed curriculum, it shall henceforth be spelled as: Jostlin’ the Elder. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/10 "2000-12-08T21:15:32Z")
Goddamnit, Max. That’s hilarious. I’ll be usin’ that one. ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/11 "2000-12-08T21:26:52Z")
I’ve always liked: Bopping the Bishop Waxing the Dolphin Shining the Mic(as in microphone) Tickling your Ivory ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/12 "2000-12-08T21:28:29Z")
Heck, most people don’t spell prodestant correctly either, but they are probably a smaller minority of world population than master-baiters. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/13 "2000-12-08T21:31:31Z")
I’m rather embarrassed that I knew what the word was before opening the thread, just by reading the title . . . ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/14 "2000-12-08T21:36:10Z")
Me too, **Eve**! Well i guess the OP won’t mind if I go and mass-tuhr-bait now, huh? ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/15 "2000-12-08T21:58:12Z")
For the gents: Spank the monkey, whack off, wax the dolphin, beat the meat, choke the chicken, boot up the hard drive, slam the ham, stretch the turtleneck, feed the Kleenex, seed the rug, play the single-string air guitar, have a date with Rosy Palm and her five beautiful daughters, shake hands with the president, make soup for one, give the tadpoles a swimming lesson, congratulate the bald-headed champion, paint a small Jackson Pollock, gag the maggot, club the baby seal, relieve the pitcher. For the ladies: Applying lip gloss, Checking the Oil, Doing something for my chapped lips, Drooling, Getting a stain out of my carpet, Itching the Ditch, Nulling the void, Parting the Red Sea, Polishing the wedding ring, Preheating the oven, Soaking in Palmolive, Stiffening my upper lip, Visiting your safety deposit box, A night in with the girls, air the orchid, audition the finger puppets And if that ain’t enuff 😛 try [http://www.well.com/user/earl/synonyms.html](http://www.well.com/user/earl/synonyms.html) ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/16 "2000-12-08T22:09:42Z")
They missed at least one for women: “bailing out the gravy boat.” I’m so sorry. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/17 "2000-12-08T22:14:39Z")
shaking hands with the unemployed… ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/18 "2000-12-08T22:27:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > \*\*shaking hands with the unemployed… \*\* Aw, Maggie, that says something about the speaker that fills me with pity. And I KNOW I’m not the only one who flinches when I see it, so you mockers can all just go flog the bishop. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/19 "2000-12-08T22:46:56Z")
You could always cheer me up with a good mash note… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681/20 "2000-12-08T23:04:24Z")
Slappin’ the big-nosed rasta-man. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-smart-people-and-i-bet-most-of-you-do-it-so-why-in-hell-cant-you-spell-it/44681.md?page=2)