# You're SO in Denial about how controlling your husband is! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 23, 2009, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310 "2009-12-23T10:30:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/41 "2009-12-25T10:40:17Z")
> [@](#): > > suspected something like this. The OP is just pissed because she’s/he’s/it has always carried a torch for her/his “friend” and now can’t have her. > > Perhaps THAT might be why the friend is blowing her/him off, and the husband doesn’t want his wife to anything to do with her/him? Because she’s like, a stalker? WTF!!! Oh boy…oh boy. That is just so beyond fucked up, I don’t even know where to begin. I do think if you knew the sitution in real life you would not be slinging those baseless accusations. I simply posted to VENT. Is there a law against that? The reason why I spoke to her mother instead of her is because I had some very strange interactions with her while we were at college, which in turn made me question her mental health. (and no I was not the cause of those…to wit, borderline personality disorder style meltdowns over relatively mild misunderstandings. For example we’d be IMing and I’d be venting about someone and she’d take some weird leap of reasoning and assume that b/c I said so and so wasn’t a good speller that I thought everyone who wasn’t gifted in spelling wasn’t exactly bright, and just totally and compleatly meltdown …and yes I know…VERY strange) I actually initially thought that not seeing her was simply due to drifting apart/graduating. It wasn’t until a mutual friend told me more details about how she thought that George was a bit overboard, that my suspicons were raised. several of my other friends said that after I graduated college, they witnessed some pretty weird stuff, between George and my friend. Her mother even told me that she thinks my friend isn’t exactly mentally healthy (AND she told me that contacting her about my friend was the right thing to do). It really is a VERY odd case to put it mildly. I remember at college my friend would help me with some problems…and then she’d flip out about stuff or go behind my back and believe REALLY horrible stuff about me from very disturbed people. (extreme stuff even for the soap opera of college) To clarify…we were closer then “high school” friends but not close the way you’d think friends would be who went to college at a residential college. It’s hard to explain exactly…Like we ate lunch togehter occsionally, and hung out after classes, and talked about the soap opera/college life. But there wasn’t much more then causal close interaction. Close college friends I’d define as kids who were always over each other’s dorm rooms and who were teased by everyone that they were going to get married or were heavily dating. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/42 "2009-12-25T11:47:56Z")
If you wanna vent, vent. If you wanna convince us of anything — too late. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/43 "2009-12-25T18:54:12Z")
The way you’re describing your initial friendship makes me wonder why you’re so bent out of shape about all this. She didn’t sound like that great of a friend to you. More like a fair weather friend. The fact that you two were teased by other students about your closeness also makes me think there was something more to just hanging out. And if your friend was straight, the teasing probably left a really bad taste in her mouth about the who thing. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/44 "2009-12-25T19:01:47Z")
Also, what you describe as mental problems aren’t very convincing, especially if you consider she might have been brushing you off, or blew up over something trivial (to you) when in fact it may have been acumulated anger or annoyance over you (for whatever reason) and the spelling meltdown was just the last straw. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/45 "2009-12-26T01:17:08Z")
Leave the mental health profession to mental health professionals. Also, use the enter key more often. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/46 "2009-12-26T01:48:46Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > You’re in denial and you know it. No, I’m not. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/47 "2009-12-26T01:52:29Z")
OP, please calm down. Let it go, she has other friends and if its true that her husband is too controlling, maybe they can help. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/48 "2009-12-26T07:16:09Z")
> [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > Your husband is being extremely controlling and it/s redicious! What does “redicious” mean? ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/49 "2009-12-26T08:21:09Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > What does “redicious” mean? It means that a typo occurred. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/50 "2009-12-26T08:50:36Z")
Nobody knows ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/51 "2009-12-26T09:03:48Z")
> [@BigBertha](#): > > Nobody knows And Nobody cares. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2009, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/52 "2009-12-27T04:44:09Z")
I see what you did there. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2009, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/53 "2009-12-27T04:46:49Z")
😃 ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2009, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/54 "2009-12-27T04:58:17Z")
Comedy Gold. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2009, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/55 "2009-12-27T05:48:18Z")
> [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > It’s hard to explain how I know that she’s being very controlled by her husband. Doesn’t stop you from trying. Dude, move on and get a girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2009, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/56 "2009-12-27T07:28:54Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > And Nobody cares. Nobody knows everything. ---
**Author:** ![AqualungBats5th](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@AqualungBats5th](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AqualungBats5th)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/57 "2009-12-27T14:42:12Z")
OP? You’re coming off as crazy. As someone else said, unless your friend is in physical danger, you’re way out of line. Back off and let her come to you if she wants. And that said.. > [@St.Anger](#): > > I suspected something like this. The OP is just pissed because she’s/he’s/it has always carried a torch for her/his “friend” and now can’t have her. What in the holy fuck is this shit? Dude, you find out she’s a lesbian and suddenly it’s okay in your mind to call her an “it”? Fucked up. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/58 "2009-12-27T18:39:16Z")
> [@AqualungBats5th](#): > > What in the holy fuck is this shit? Dude, you find out she’s a lesbian and suddenly it’s okay in your mind to call her an “it”? Fucked up. I think **St. Anger** is just sarcastically covering all of his (you are a guy, right?) bases because he’s unsure of the OP’s gender. ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/59 "2009-12-27T21:55:46Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > I think **St. Anger** is just sarcastically covering all of his (you are a guy, right?) bases because he’s unsure of the OP’s gender. I’m an equal opportunity troll. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310/60 "2009-12-27T22:13:31Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > I’m an equal opportunity troll. Just as long as you don’t discriminate. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-in-denial-about-how-controlling-your-husband-is/522310.md?page=4)