# You're so vain **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 8, 2000, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722 "2000-01-08T22:24:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/21 "2000-01-10T01:37:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Get back to my size 4. I am now a size 6 and feel like a large person. ( I am only 5’3") I don’t think I’m alone in saying this: Die. Die and go to hell, you fucking bitch. Die die die. Suffer and die. I’m 5’2" and at 104lbs I was a size 7… so what the hell are you complaining about? I’m 90lbs heavier than that now and the last thing I need to hear is that size 6 is a “large person”… I guess I’ll just go shoot myself NOW and get it over with. * * * – Teeming Millions: [http://fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions) “Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![N\_oR\_jVIaL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@N\_oR\_jVIaL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N_oR_jVIaL)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/22 "2000-01-10T02:37:00Z")
I think I’d get a crooked nose, or maybe a small scar, because I’ve noticed that other people tend to be put off by my perfection. … huh? … what hump?.. no one in the bell tower ever mentioned it. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/23 "2000-01-10T10:27:00Z")
Techchick: Um, what Opal said. Only…FAR less violence on my end. I was actually kind of excited after I thought about it for a few seconds. _"Wait a tick! **I** can be a size **4**?? Cool!!_ Aside from not being overweight, though, I’d definitely want to have the laser eye surgery and have a little work done on my breasts. I keep trying to convince myself that I’m a C cup, because I keep hoping that a smaller cup will hold the damn heavy things up better. My husband would be heart-broken if I had them reduced, but it’d be nice if I could have something done to make them stay where they’re supposed to… * * * “Wednesday the 15th - Chris made one of her rare good points today.” _Guanolad_ ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/24 "2000-01-10T11:17:00Z")
Get some of the old acne scars smoothed out. Get rid of the “chubby cheeks” that I’ve had forever. Get down to a size 12 again. (I am an 18 right now.) Size 12 suits me just fine, all the women in my family are about that size, and all look just fine, and healthy. I don’t feel any animosity or anger towards the dear soul who thinks herself “large” in her size 6 clothes, but I do want to send a message: This is Planet Earth. Get used to it. While you may not be at your personal “ideal” size, (and you have every right to decide what size you want to be) on Planet Earth, a size 6 is not “large”. Maybe it’s different on your home planet, but you are on Planet Earth now. Just so you know. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gumby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@Gumby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gumby)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/25 "2000-01-10T11:18:00Z")
definitely a nose job, I broke it falling down the stairs in a drunken stupor one night long ago - idiot. Also if they were safe - breast enlargement. Hate to be clique, but it’s hard looking like a 10 yr old and trying to feel like a woman. sigh… ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/26 "2000-01-10T14:20:00Z")
Techchick is bitching about being a size 6?? I would sell my soul to the devil (Hi Satan!) to be a size 6 again. Even in high school, when I only weighed about 120 pounds, I was still a size 9. Hell, I would sell my soul to be a size 9 again. ## But, like I was telling my hubby last night, I’m going to the store and buying some Slim Fast. The last time I tried the Slim Fast diet, I lost 30 pounds. Even losing 30 pounds would be better than what I’m at now. Shadowfox “We are what we pretend to be.” - Kurt Vonnegut ---
**Author:** ![Oblio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c4cdca/32.png) [@Oblio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblio)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/27 "2000-01-10T14:43:00Z")
I would like to have my Brachial Plexus injury repaired. Although it could have been much worse, it sure would be nice to have a full range of motion in my left arm. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/28 "2000-01-10T14:51:00Z")
Chris may have gotten excited, I basically went into despair. I know I can never be a size 4. 5’2" here, and at 104lbs I was a size 7… the only way I’d ever fit into a size 4 is if I had some limbs removed. So, I guess that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I’m always doomed to be a “large person”… why the fuck do I even bother? Why should I ever even leave the house again and inflict my bulk on the world? * * * – Teeming Millions: [http://fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions) “Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/29 "2000-01-10T15:01:00Z")
And now, for the Totally Uncalled For Award: Techchik said: * * * Get back to my size 4. I am now a size 6 and feel like a large person. ( I am only 5’3") * * * OK. I’m metric and would have to translate all that, but this seems like someone descibing their self-image. Not extrapolating it onto others, not judging, just voicing a wish as requested for in the OP. OpalCat replies: * * * I don’t think I’m alone in saying this: Die. Die and go to hell, you fucking bitch. Die die die. Suffer and die. * * * Hello ? Is there some new form of sarcasm that I am unaware of, or are these AWFULLY strong words used at an AWFULLY ill-timed moment ? For crying out loud, she didn’t say anything about OTHER people now did she ? ## In short: why yes, Opal. I think you’re INDEED alone in saying that. * * * Coldfire: second to none but Satan. * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/30 "2000-01-10T19:40:00Z")
LOL, it’s okay that OpalCat wants me to burn in hell, I know she’s goofing with me even though she isn’t at the same time. I never meant for my current size to offend anyone ☹ really \< grin \> I am just one of those people that at 130 lbs I am still only a size 6 at 5’3". Keep in mind my fellow women who are larger than me in dress size, you also are (from the sounds of it) endowed with large breasts, something that I don’t have. I only have an A cup (almost a B, but I have never seen 1/2 sizes on bras) However, having larger breasts are not all that important to me I like being able to go braless for a quick jaunt to 7-11 or the grocery store. Oddly enough, my bone structure is bigger than most my hieght. I know women that are 6 inches taller than me that have smaller wrists than me. I suspect my metabolism is higher than others and when I do pack on the pounds, it distributes evenly so I don’t appear that large. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzy-wuzzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b38774/32.png) [@fuzzy-wuzzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzy-wuzzy)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/31 "2000-01-10T20:01:00Z")
techchick you must pack it right…cause I’m 5’7 and I’m supposed to weight 138…and 8 pounds spread over 4 inches in height is nothing…count your blessings…I’m impressed… * * * “Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda _You wanna know something about me…ask me…not my friends…_ ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/32 "2000-01-10T20:27:00Z")
Coldfire, I used to purchase Guess jeans, which I suspect are metric. I don’t know for sure, but a 6 is also a 28 in Guess jeans…did that help? ====== As for being a size 6, 130 lbs at 5’3" I also have more muscle mass than the average woman. If I work out with weights, I look like a miniature football player, highly unattractive on a woman. My step-mom is a size 2-4, she’s two inches taller than me and weighs more than me, but again she’s got muscle weight cause of her excessive working out. Her frame is smaller than mine too, but if you saw the two of us together you would swear she’s my bio mom, it’s plain weird I tell you! ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/33 "2000-01-10T20:48:00Z")
I looked at the back half of my naked self in the mirror the other day and nearly fainted. Is that me? All of it? I’d like a Fat-ectomy to remove all the fat from my body, since I’m not really using it for anything. Well, not all. I’d like to keep the boobs, but if I could have svelt thighs, buttocks, abdomen, arms, back (groan), and a thinner face, I’d think about prostituting myself to come up with the cash. I’d also like some cartilage for my left knee. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/34 "2000-01-10T21:05:00Z")
Opal, you sexy sexy thang, c’mere and let me give you a big hug for just a little too long. Forget the maunderings of people who think they’re too big and just fewkin’ AREN’T. (that includes you!) I think you’re really something just as you are and I can’t permit you to disagree with me, so please just stop it right now. And here’s another slightly too-long hug. _wink_ * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/35 "2000-01-10T21:24:00Z")
Hair removal, and lots of it. * * * “It’s my considered opinion you’re all a bunch of sissies!”–Paul’s Grandfather ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/36 "2000-01-10T21:38:00Z")
And assuming that the hair pldennison has removed is brown, let’s just take that same hair and stick it on top of my head. Oh, hell, even if it isn’t brown, even if it’s _turqoise_ or something. I don’t care. I just want a full head of hair again. Other than that, I think I’m okay. * * * JMCJ This could be YOUR sig line! For just five cents a post, JMCJ Enterprises will place YOUR sig line at the bottom of each message! ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/37 "2000-01-11T04:27:00Z")
PLD: What fer? In that eons-ago chest hair thread, hairy chests won against nekkid ones, no contest. Plus, if your wife’s about it…keep it. * * * “Fester, fester, fester…rot, rot, rot.” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/38 "2000-01-11T16:59:00Z")
Coldfire, yes it was OBVIOUSLY sarcasm. Techchick and I are buddies, and not just from this board. I thought the wording was pretty obviously meant in humor. I mean yeah, the sentiment that she has no right to complain, and that it did make me feel kinda hopeless were real, but I feel no malice toward her at all. Oh, and when I was thin, I wore an A cup as well. I’m a C now, but I _still_ never wear a bra. * * * – Teeming Millions: [http://fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions) “Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/39 "2000-01-12T06:06:00Z")
I would have my nose done. It’s rather large for my face and kind of uneven. I would also have my breasts done. I would also like to get the fat removed from my tummy, hips, and butt that is still there 4 months after having my 2nd baby. Those last 10 pounds are just taking their time coming off! * * * That John Denver’s full of shit man! ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722/40 "2000-01-12T06:27:00Z")
I should lose about 60 lbs. Am 5’11" and weigh at 290 or so. Am a large person to start with, but I definitely have a paunch. Other than that, I’m basically perfect, save the eyes…dual cokebottle glasses. 😛 * * * \>\>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.\<\< —The dragon observes [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-so-vain/12722.md?page=3)