# You're surrounded by zombies. Whom do you want to rescue you: Ahsoka Tano or the BURN NOTICE crew? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 6, 2013, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632 "2013-05-06T17:40:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/21 "2013-05-06T23:30:35Z")
This is like asking if you’d rather Gandalf or the A-Team rescue you. There’s no wrong choice, either way it’ll work out. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/22 "2013-05-06T23:33:55Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > This is like asking if you’d rather Gandalf or the A-Team rescue you. There’s no wrong choice, either way it’ll work out. I actually considered the A-Team for this thread but I didn’t want to hear any pity the fool crap. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/23 "2013-05-07T00:27:23Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I actually considered the A-Team for this thread but I didn’t want to hear any pity the fool crap. Oh, see, I’d have voted for the A-Team specifically in order to get to meet Mr. T. Even it if was a worse choice, I think that dying might be worth it if I got to rub the afro. I just have trouble seeing many better choices than a Jedi for that particular scenario. A lightsaber is a great choice for zombie defense; it’s light, portable, doesn’t need reloading, and is a one hit decapitation every time. Force powers would give you a great series of opportunities to jump up into trees and onto ledges, and to put obstacles in your enemies’ way. The only thing they don’t have is flight, which would be ideal. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/24 "2013-05-07T01:48:37Z")
The **Burn Notice** crew, mostly because I want to see the replay where it says: “Mark the angry client” in that funny typeface. Plus, they’re going to come in vehicles, so it may just be a matter of hopping in while they set off some sort of contrived bomb or something. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/25 "2013-05-07T02:09:09Z")
Where’s the brownie recipe? Don’t make me break out the Duncan Hines mix! StG ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/26 "2013-05-07T02:10:22Z")
> [@bump](#): > > The **Burn Notice** crew, mostly because I want to see the replay where it says: > > “Mark the angry client” in that funny typeface. > > Plus, they’re going to come in vehicles, so it may just be a matter of hopping in while they set off some sort of contrived bomb or something. And they bring yogurt - lots of yogurt. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Librarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_librarian/32/402_2.png) [@The\_Librarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Librarian)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/27 "2013-05-07T10:31:06Z")
What’s all this about zombies?; this thread is only a day old. ---
**Author:** ![Boogly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Boogly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boogly)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/28 "2013-05-07T12:44:53Z")
If Bruce shows up with a chainsaw hand and boomstick, he gets top vote. If the BN crew brings a car that’s where I’d go. If not I don’t want to wait 45 minutes while they formulate a plan. If not I’m going with the infinite ammo light sabers and hopefully force powers. Microwave popcorn for a couple minutes while the Jedi clears a path and waltz out. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/29 "2013-05-07T14:16:08Z")
Haven’t watched _Burn Notice_, but from what I’ve heard, I’ll go with the Inappropriately Dressed Jedi Intern. She rocks. ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/30 "2013-05-07T14:28:04Z")
Force push keeps the zombies away from me. Force sense lets us know if there are zombies about to burst in. Lightsaber is infinite ammo-zombie kill. Lightsaber also lets us cut through wreckage to go where we need to go. Force jump (with Ahsoka carrying someone) lets us get around larger obstacles. Saber toss clears away large number of zombies at once. Force choke to pull off zombie’s heads if we’re in a safe spot. All the force powers and the saber are quiet, to avoid attracting more zombies. Why is this even a question? ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/31 "2013-05-07T14:44:27Z")
It’s a trick question. Obviously, I would grab Max and fly away in my space place the _Danger Sled_. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/32 "2013-05-07T15:23:33Z")
Weston’s crew, no question. I get saved, I get to see Fi blow my house up, and we end up sipping drinks in Miami. Win/win/win. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/33 "2013-05-07T15:47:30Z")
A Jedi is the perfect zombie slayer. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/34 "2013-05-07T19:45:37Z")
The more people there are, the better my chances. Of course, that’s because my plan is to stack them on top of each other in some sort of human ladder, chop a hole in the ceiling, and climb onto the roof for safety. Kinda hard to climb one person, but 4 or 5? Now we’re talking. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/35 "2013-05-07T20:46:33Z")
Oh, for Og’s sake. THE DOCTOR! Fuck Jedi and Burn Notice and that Japanese person I don’t know anything about. The Galloping Gallifreyan just needs to materialize the Tardis for five seconds, reach through the doors, grab my hand and whisk me off to a planet where the majority of the population is alive and semi-humanoid. Geez… ETA: Ah, I see. Never mind my stupidity resulting from not ever having seen Clone Wars. I still take the Doctor over Jedi. EATA: I’d wondered how Jedi got injected into this… ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/36 "2013-05-07T21:29:20Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Oh, for Og’s sake. > > THE DOCTOR! _Way_ too risky. There’s a reason why “I’m so sorry, I’m so, so, sorry, but…” has become a meme. The Doctor’s “allied corpse” pile is huge. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/37 "2013-05-07T22:08:19Z")
> [@TimeWinder](#): > > _Way_ too risky. There’s a reason why “I’m so sorry, I’m so, so, sorry, but…” has become a meme. The Doctor’s “allied corpse” pile is huge. Yeah, but it’s kind of worth the risk, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/38 "2013-05-07T22:12:43Z")
I’ll go with the Jedi. ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfyre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shadowfyre/32/9972_2.png) [@Shadowfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfyre)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/39 "2013-05-08T18:56:09Z")
Let’s not forget that Ahsoka has **TWO** lightsabers. If things get really rough, she can hand one to me for double the carnage. You can have your mojitos in Miami. I want a lightsaber! ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/40 "2013-05-08T20:34:44Z")
Now, **Skald**. I like you, a lot, and I typically enjoy your hypotheticals a lot too, but this is ridiculous. What do we know about zombies ? Like, what’s rule #1, first thing, most basic lore, the stuff even people who’ve lived in Siberia for the past 600 years (and somehow avoided exposure to all the Nazi zombies I’m told can be found there) knows about zombies ? It’s bad mojo to get near them. They bite you, and then you’re fucked. Hell, for all I know we might even be in one of those “more realistic zombies” shows where zombie-dom is a bloodborne disease of some kind and merely getting drooled on or splashed with blood is enough to earn you an express ticket to Fuckedtown. And what do we know about Jedis ? They do lightsabers. Nothing else. No guns, no blasters, no breech-loading artillery, lightsabers. Sometimes even lightsaber-chucks, which is just capital R retarded-dangerous to one’s own health. But I digress. Well, one swing of a lightsaber at a mob of zombies, and you’ve got a mob of zombies PLUS a mob of zombie _torsos still crawling towards you and trying to bite your ankles, which as I already mentioned is one tiny step removed from metaphorical rectal penetration. Another swing, another set of problems, which may or may not even be on fire_ at the time. Fuck that. I’ll stick with the crew whose methods typically involve high, long range firepower ; an overabundance of explosives ; and vehicular manslaughter, thankyouverymuch. It’s not even a contest, it’s not even a _decision_. Plus I got a thing for fake Irish accents, it’s a whole… thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632.md?page=3)