# You're surrounded by zombies. Whom do you want to rescue you: Ahsoka Tano or the BURN NOTICE crew? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 6, 2013, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632 "2013-05-06T17:40:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/41 "2013-05-08T20:39:38Z")
The Jedi couldn’t protect their own students in their own headquarters. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/42 "2013-05-08T22:24:46Z")
> [@appleciders](#): > > Oh, see, I’d have voted for the A-Team specifically in order to get to meet Mr. T. Even it if was a worse choice, I think that dying might be worth it if I got to rub the afro. Mohawk. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/43 "2013-05-09T17:24:25Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > Force push keeps the zombies away from me. > > Force sense lets us know if there are zombies about to burst in. > > Lightsaber is infinite ammo-zombie kill. > > Lightsaber also lets us cut through wreckage to go where we need to go. > > Force jump (with Ahsoka carrying someone) lets us get around larger obstacles. > > Saber toss clears away large number of zombies at once. > > Force choke to pull off zombie’s heads if we’re in a safe spot. > > All the force powers and the saber are quiet, to avoid attracting more zombies. > > Why is this even a question? It would be awesome if Jedis had that power level. Now I haven’t seen the Clone Wars, but thinking about the movies, let’s look at Yoda on Degobah lifting the X-wing - he has to stop and concentrate and strain at lifting it. Not a lot of excess mental let alone physical room for simultaneous saber wielding. Or look at his battle with Count Dooku. Sure, he bounces around like a squirrel on crack when going with the sabers, but when the boulders start flying, he’s too busy catching them to effectively stop Dooku from running away. And that’s Yoda, not some silly Padawan. Now I know a zombie doesn’t weigh as much as a boulder, but if you’re talking about trying to keep a hoard off you and creating a wall or whatever, that’s a lot of force pushing. And how effective at jumping would Ahsoka be carrying a full grown human, vs Luke carrying a green dwarf with big ears? > [@Czarcasm](#): > > The Jedi couldn’t protect their own students in their own headquarters. But that wasn’t against Zombies, that was against another Jedi, who knew the secret password and took them by surprise from the inside. Plus, it was, like, the awesomest Jedi ever - the midichlorians told me so. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/44 "2013-05-09T17:42:53Z")
Ahsoka Tano without a doubt. Force powers and lightsaber \> no powers and mundane tech. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/45 "2013-05-09T17:49:33Z")
First season: Ahsoka leads a squadron into battle. They die. A bunch of other success and other failures. Last season: Ahsoka tries to save a woman’s life. She fails. The odds are too bad: give me Bruce Campbell. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/46 "2013-05-09T21:23:19Z")
Question–does the Jedi have a ship they can use to quickly leave? She didn’t just hitch a ride from someone who was passing by? Because then I go with the Jedi. Assuming she’s smart enough to just use Force Push to clear a path to me–rather than something stupid like attacking with a lightsaber or attempting to get close enough for a Jedi Mind Trick–and then we fly off together until the zombies kill themselves out (or longer, since Earth civilization might be fucked by then.) I mean, I expect the Burn Notice people would do better against the zombies, but I’m not sure where I would go after they were done. I don’t think they’d be able to completely stop the zombie hoards, and they don’t have any government help to put me in a bunker or something. The most they could do is get me a secret identity somewhere else that wouldn’t be any more protected. Says the guy who only knows about this stuff second hand. I’ve never even seen Star Wars and my sister tells me what happens on Burn Notice. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/47 "2013-05-10T17:08:06Z")
> [@bump](#): > > The **Burn Notice** crew, mostly because I want to see the replay where it says: > > “Mark the angry client” in that funny typeface. > > Plus, they’re going to come in vehicles, so it may just be a matter of hopping in while they set off some sort of contrived bomb or something. In the first place, Ahsoka has access to flying cars. Surely she’d bring one on such a mission, if she needed it. In the second place, she won’t need it. Max just the zombies cleared out so she can teleport you out of the house (and into a decontamination chamber to make sure you’re not infected). Once you’re out of the house, getting into a vehicle and driving/flying off is silly. In the third place – well, there is no third place. > [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > First season: Ahsoka leads a squadron into battle. They die. > A bunch of other success and other failures. > Last season: Ahsoka tries to save a woman’s life. She fails. > > The odds are too bad: give me Bruce Campbell. Ahsoka’s done plenty of other awesomely awesome things in the interim, and anyone who says different is Welsh. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/48 "2013-05-10T17:49:03Z")
By the time Michael Weston was done he would have conned the zombies into eating each other. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/49 "2013-05-10T17:54:48Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > By the time Michael Weston was done he would have conned the zombies into eating each other. Untrue. There is a certain minimum level of intelligence required to be conned (it’s called the Stooge limit), and zombies do not reach it. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/50 "2013-05-10T18:00:02Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Untrue. There is a certain minimum level of intelligence required to be conned (it’s called the Stooge limit), and zombies do not reach it. The “Stooge limit” is reserved for the top guys-the rest are handled by herd mentality and a few of Fi’s flashbangs. By the way, that crew that was working on the electrical panels right before your last scheme went sour? Did one of the “electricians” have a distinctive chin? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/51 "2013-05-10T18:01:59Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > The “Stooge limit” is reserved for the top guys-the rest are handled by herd mentality and a few of Fi’s flashbangs. By the way, that crew that was working on the electrical panels right before your last scheme went sour? Did one of the “electricians” have a distinctive chin? :: examines the electrician’s decapitated & defleshed skull :: I can’t tell. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/52 "2013-05-10T18:29:29Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > The Jedi couldn’t protect their own students in their own headquarters. That’s only an argument for not calling Mace Windu. Besides, Ahsoka was not a Jedi when that happened, and anyway she left the order in disgust. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/53 "2013-05-10T19:14:59Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > That’s only an argument for not calling Mace Windu. Besides, Ahsoka was not a Jedi when that happened, and anyway she left the order in disgust. Seriously? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/54 "2013-05-10T19:18:33Z")
End of last season. She was falsely accused of murder, only Anakin would believe her, she escaped from prison, eventually proved her innocence, they offered to take her back, but she was disillusioned and said No. Which is why she’s not in the movies. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/55 "2013-05-10T19:18:56Z")
> [@MegaBee](#): > > Seriously? I’m not sure of your question. Is it about Ahsoka leaving the order? If so, [here’s](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5E6VO0MJt0) a link to the last episode of the final season. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/56 "2013-05-10T19:20:30Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > End of last season. She was falsely accused of murder, only Anakin would believe her, she escaped from prison, eventually proved her innocence, they offered to take her back, but she was disillusioned and said No. Which is why she’s not in the movies. I only regret that she didn’t give Yoda, Mace, & Obi-Wan the “fuck you” they deserved as they left. I suppose she may have forborn because Master Po was there too. ---
**Author:** ![Beelzebubba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Beelzebubba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beelzebubba)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2013, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/57 "2013-05-12T02:15:41Z")
BURN NOTICE, no doubt! With Fiona on your side, there’s nothing you can’t blast your way through! Gotta love a girl who never leaves home without her C4 plastic explosives! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Woodhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Miss\_Woodhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Woodhouse)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2013, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/58 "2013-05-12T03:20:24Z")
Burn Notice because Fi’s trunk is magic. It always has exactly what they need to complete the mission with a few fun explosives left over just so it looks like a real party. I know nothing of Jedis who don’t appear in the movies, however, it just seems a crew of planning geniuses with a magic trunk would be a better bet than one jedi no matter how many light sabers she has. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2013, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632/59 "2013-05-13T13:40:07Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’m not sure of your question. Is it about Ahsoka leaving the order? If so, [here’s](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5E6VO0MJt0) a link to the last episode of the final season. Thanks, that’s just what I was asking. I’m really, really far behind on Clone Wars. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-surrounded-by-zombies-whom-do-you-want-to-rescue-you-ahsoka-tano-or-the-burn-notice-crew/657632.md?page=2)