# You're the producer/director of a comic book movie: make the fans angry! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 1, 2014, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275 "2014-02-01T11:57:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/21 "2014-02-01T15:48:47Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Well, if that’s the standard: Wonder Woman gets tied up a lot, never gets naked. I think what would piss off the fans more would be, Wonder Woman gets tied up a lot, _ALWAYS_ gets naked. Maybe go back to the kinky Wonder Woman of Marston’s day, cranking up the volume to modern-day fanservice levels. Oh, SOME people would LURVE the “always gets naked” plan, but I think the majority would be pissed as hell at it. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/22 "2014-02-01T15:50:36Z")
. . . or, how about a canon-faithful adaptation of “Archie Meets the Punisher”? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/23 "2014-02-01T15:53:42Z")
Oh go to Archie Comics. Archie becomes the most annoying hipster ever. Veronica is a wealthy, pretentious goth girl. And Betty is a slutty cheerleader type. Jughead is a gamer, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/24 "2014-02-01T15:53:46Z")
The “happy ending” to my Wonder Woman movie would be Steve Trevor proposing to Diana Prince and her happily giving up her powers so she could settle down to life as a housewife. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/25 "2014-02-01T15:55:17Z")
Damn, I did not see DrFidelius’ post before I posted my plan. GMTA I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/26 "2014-02-01T16:02:27Z")
Ooo, Wolverine as he was originally conceived (but never executed): a man evolved from a wolverine. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/27 "2014-02-01T16:20:30Z")
Make a JLA movie. Don’t tell anyone before release that the centers around that giant Indian guy and Hawk and Dove. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/28 "2014-02-01T16:31:32Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Make a JLA movie. Don’t tell anyone before release that the centers around that giant Indian guy and Hawk and Dove. [Justice League of America](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justice_League_of_America_%28TV_film%29): The protagonist, Tori Olafsdotter (Kimberly Oja), a meteorologist working at the Eno Meteorological Institute who will later become Ice. New Metro is then attacked by a tornado being controlled by a terrorist calling himself the Weatherman (Miguel Ferrer). The Flash (Ken Johnston) diffuses the tornado using his speed while the other members of the JLA use their powers to save civilians. Tori stumbles upon a hidden device in the lab where she works. While investigating its use, she spills water on it and it strikes her with strange blue electricity. She is unharmed and leaves the lab for home freezing everything she touches. En route she sees a man drowning, when she attempts to rescue him the water freezes around her. That night she is abducted by the JLA and interrogated, believing her to be the Weatherman. They release her and Tori believes it was all simply a bad dream. And who are the JLA? The Flash, Green Lantern, The Atom, Fire & Ice, and David Ogden Stiers as the Martian Manhunter. One look at the costumes and you, too, will be glad this TV turkey never aired. Oh, and the giant Indian guy was Super-Chief. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/29 "2014-02-01T17:29:28Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > In my case, I’d do Batman exactly as he appeared in the 40s and 50s: well-adjusted, smart, showing off his detective skills, and fighting the Tweed brothers with a giant penny involved. We could go with a chubby Alfred, and, of course, Bat-Mite. So that would massively piss off the fans without a single change from the original. I’ll go you one better. Make a movie out of [Bob Kane’s Batman](http://comicsalliance.com/ty-templeton-draws-batman-as-created-by-bob-kane-art/). ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/30 "2014-02-01T17:36:37Z")
Instead of batarangs the caped crusader uses a glock. Sideways. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/31 "2014-02-01T17:46:18Z")
Spider-Man starring Jayden Smith as your friendly neighborhood wall-crawler. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/32 "2014-02-01T17:59:05Z")
Arnold Schwarzenegger is… Captain America! ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/33 "2014-02-01T18:16:55Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Arnold Schwarzenegger is… Captain America! In the movie, an enemy called Captain Germany will use a perfect British accent. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/34 "2014-02-01T19:28:25Z")
I’d pay to use the name “Superman” as the title of a movie that otherwise has little to do with the DC comics character. “Clark Kent” is an alienated (heh) young man who flees his conservative upbringing in rural Kansas for the art scene in New York. He tries to express his existential angst in his art, but gradually comes to the conclusion that no one can appreciate his insights because he’s so much more advanced than the rest of the human race. The movie ends with him jumping off the roof of the Daily Planet building, and his “flight” is stretched out to a five-minute fantasy/dream sequence. ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/35 "2014-02-01T19:51:52Z")
A shot-for-shot remake of Superman II, huge budget for special effects, star cast carefully chosen (no Nicolas Cage,) but with the change that Superman is wearing a pair of tightly-whiteys as part of his iconic costume through the whole film. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/36 "2014-02-01T19:53:44Z")
First, film another Spider-Man film reboot–but do it as well as possible. Lots of polling, comics experts and fans reviewing the script and casting, experts on set throughout filming to vet changes and advise the director, who will be a comics fan as well. Study the successful comic-book adaptations carefully. Participate in the community both before and after the release. Motto: “This time we’re getting it _right_.” In the sequel, reveal that the “Ben Parker” who died in the reboot was actually a clone. The “real” Ben Parker is actually Professor Miles Warren/The Jackal, who has secretly been using Peter as a guinea pig for years. Peter’s powers didn’t result from the spider bite, but from being a genetically altered clone; his illness from the spider bite just triggered them to manifest a little sooner than expected. When Spider-Man confronts the Jackal, he finds himself facing an army of Peter Parker clones. Most of them are wimpy mooks, but a few have an assortment of superpowers, combined with disfiguring mutations. The ones with powers are expies of some of Spider-Man’s regular rogue gallery, so he gets to fight Rhino-Peter, Morbius-Peter, and so forth. When the inevitable river of flame begins rolling your way, express surprise and dismay at the fickleness of the fan community. You have to set them up before you can knock them down. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/37 "2014-02-01T19:59:48Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > Spider-Man starring Jayden Smith as your friendly neighborhood wall-crawler. [That’d work great, for some Spider-Man continuities.](http://media.comicbook.com/files/2011/08/miles-morales-ultimate-comics-spider-man-1-variant.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/38 "2014-02-01T20:36:50Z")
Judge Dredd - spends a large part of the film out of uniform, and his face visible. Have him played by an actor considerably less than 6 feet tall. And he speaks with a funny accent. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/39 "2014-02-01T20:49:52Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Arnold Schwarzenegger is… Captain America! Richard Simmons is…Wolverine! ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2014, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275/40 "2014-02-01T20:59:29Z")
Justin Bieber as… Deadpool Uwe Boll’s Sandman Howard the Duck 2 Marvel and DC Present: Daredevil vs. Batman - both played by Ben Affleck V for Vendetta 2: He Got Better Batman fighting the Joker, played by leftover footage of Heath Ledger and Ed Wood’s chiropractor from behind. Blade vs. the Tax Man Not making at least one new bad guy, e.g. the new Batman will fight Bane and Talia al Ghul, Iron Man will fight Ben Kingsley, Spider-Man and the Lizard, etc. Note this isn’t the same as reoccurring Magneto, Green Goblin, Lex Luthor. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-the-producer-director-of-a-comic-book-movie-make-the-fans-angry/680275.md?page=3)