Solid gold helicopter: $50 million.
Dom Perignon: $500.
1957 Les Paul: $4000.
Calling up to taunt the woman whose lottery ticket you cashed: priceless.
Once, long ago, a boyfriend of mine liked to play Pro-Line, where you pick the winners of three hockey games. If all three win, you win !
Of course since he was a Man, he automatically was better at it than me.
One game in this fateful week was the Buffalo Sabres vs the Quebec Nordiques (told you it was a long time ago!)
I told him that the Sabres couldn’t possibly beat the Nords. Of course this came completely out of my ass, I knew little about hockey and cared even less, I just decided for some reason that this would be the outcome of the game. We had a friendly argument for a while, and he (thought he) picked the Sabres, because after all it was his ticket. To my recollection, tho, he had sumbitted to my awesome power and picked the Nords.
Both his other picks won, and the Nordiques won. He was so upset at losing the argument with me (again, thinking he had picked the Sabres) that he made a great show of eating the ticket. (All in good fun, you understand.) Until I said “Wait a minute … are you sure you picked the Sabres?”
We uncrumpled and dried out the remaining bits of the ticket. Turns out it was a winner ! (Having bet only a few bucks, I think the big prize came out to twenty bucks or so. But it was the first and only time he won on Pro-Line.) We took the damp bits to the lottery stand and explained the situation. (Or rather, I accompanied him and snickered while he explained the situation.) Naturally the clerk looked at us funny and told us we’d have to go to headquarters.
Ultimately I think there were enough bits remaining that he got his twenty bucks.
A solid gold helicopter would never get off the ground. But if you could afford one, that wouldn’t really be the point I guess.
too stupid to be a millionaire?
the fact that she bought a lottery ticket at all indicates she’s too stupid to be a millionaire.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/Midwest/01/06/lottery.ticket.ap/index.html
Someone just cashed the ticket, and it’s legit.
Was it her? No one will say, but the press conference is in 45 minutes.
We’ll know soon enough.
[Jill Brown]
… and here we can see a large Canadian vagina coming down to mingle with warmer air from the southern plains.
[/Jill Brown]
From http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,107454,00.html
Ok now I hope someone else found the ticket, because this bitch running to a lawyer pisses me off.
When purchasing a lottory ticket sign the back immediately. Everything covered. She must have one hell of a memory to have the numbers in her head.
Holy crap! Wrong thread.
Cough, cough scam artist cough.
:dubious:
Yeah, but it almost fits.
If I found that ticket, I’d demand fingerprint proof. If her prints showed up on the ticket, I’d give it to her and hope she’d give me a reward. No prints, no money. And no, I wouldn’t try to smear any prints.
If I were the beneficiary of her misfortune, I might feel bad enough that I might consider offering her a job cleaning the bathrooms in my new mansion for minimum wage…
Hell, if we can’t make fun of the misfortunes of others, we might be forced to face our own shortcomings. And what’s the fun in that?
Or she could just refresh her memory by reading the winning numbers.
We should make a thread titled So you found the ticket and cashed it, would you give the lady any money?
After the lawyer bullshit, I would tell her to suck my ass nectar and that I’d have given her 10 million if she hadn’t pulled the lawyer card.
If she hadn’t pulled the lawyer card I’d give her 10 Million.
She said the numbers were composed of family birthdays and that she always played the same numbers. I don’t see why it’s so hard to believe that she would remember them, all things considered. She also reported the ticket was lost at approximately the same time and place as the winning ticket was sold. And when she made that report, the information regarding when and where the winner was sold had not yet been made public. I don’t know if this woman is lying or not, but her story does seem to be somewhat supported by the evidence.
Should this be the truth, then calling her stupid or a cow or a whiny bitch seems more than a little harsh. I can only imagine how horrible I would feel knowing that I’d held the key to luxury in my hand only to lose it in a moment of unlucky carelessness.
And the winner is…
Rebecca Jemaison.
NOT the woman who claims she lost it!!!
OOOPS!!!
Bwahahahahahaa!
Yes!
Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! 
GMTA, Worldeater. 
And so the legal battle begins.
Yours seemed heartier DTC
Can we get a lawyer in here? My understanding is they could have her fingerprints on the ticket and have surveillance video in HDTV of her buying the ticket and it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference. Who ever signs the ticket and hands it in is the winner in their eyes.
Does this lost property gambit have any hope?