# You're trapped in the Star Trek universe. What do you do now? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 19, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653 "2010-04-19T18:48:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/41 "2010-04-19T21:38:27Z")
I’d get famous by adapting movies made by Warner and Universal and such into holonovels, since in the Star Trek universe, only Paramount-owned pop-culture exists. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/42 "2010-04-19T21:43:47Z")
I’d get a lucrative federation consulting job as head of OSHA, as featured in a thread I made on the subject some time ago. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/43 "2010-04-19T21:45:09Z")
I’d go directly to my bank and see what 300 years of compound interest has netted me…TRM ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/44 "2010-04-19T21:45:12Z")
I’d become a dissident and try to overthrow the Federation government. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/45 "2010-04-19T21:47:03Z")
Sign up for a Councellor, to get advice on fitting in. Everyone gets one of those, right? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/46 "2010-04-19T21:55:58Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Marta’s dead. Rand’s about a hundred and sixty years old, if she isn’t dead. :smack: Okay, fine. Can I look up their TOS-era selves on the holodeck, then? (oh, and I’d like to add Zarabeth to the list, too :p) ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/47 "2010-04-19T22:11:19Z")
I’d track down Ensign Ro and spend a few hours licking her forehead. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/48 "2010-04-19T22:13:31Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > I’d track down Ensign Ro and spend a few hours licking her forehead. Fool of a Took! **Oakminster** will shortly explain to you the three reasons that will be a bad idea, I am sure. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/49 "2010-04-19T22:15:48Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Hit the Holodeck, baby. Oh yeah . . . and never leave. Who needs reality anyway? ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/50 "2010-04-19T22:18:29Z")
teach history. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/51 "2010-04-19T22:18:59Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Hit the Holodeck, baby. One of the comedians at the end of the movie Trekkies touched on this. He suggested that the fourteen-year-old Wesley Crusher might have locked himself into one 24x7 (with a virtual Counselor Troi perhaps). So yes, I’d be curious how the much access the average citizen of Earth has to a holosuite. And more seriously, I’d be curious how well they get along given that all of one’s basic needs are taken care of by replicators and there’s no need for money. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/52 "2010-04-19T22:22:01Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Tranya! > > Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Win, mainly for attitude. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/53 "2010-04-19T22:22:08Z")
> [@RikWriter](#): > > I’d become a dissident and try to overthrow the Federation government. Considering how much of a patsy the Humans were in those series, IIRC, this won’t be too difficult. Sign me up! ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/54 "2010-04-19T22:24:32Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > I’d track down Ensign Ro and spend a few hours licking her forehead. > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Fool of a Took! > > **Oakminster** will shortly explain to you the three reasons that will be a bad idea, I am sure. Well, let’s hear 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/55 "2010-04-19T22:27:54Z")
You’re not going to the _future_, guys… it’s an alternate universe. All your memories of the 1990s will be useless since to everyone around you, that was when Ricky Ricardo took over Earth during the euthanasia wars. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/56 "2010-04-19T22:33:28Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Well, let’s hear 'em. It’s a Battlestar Galactica joke. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/57 "2010-04-19T22:36:26Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > You’re not going to the _future_, guys… it’s an alternate universe. All your memories of the 1990s will be useless since to everyone around you, that was when Ricky Ricardo took over Earth during the euthanasia wars. This. Add to that that the ST universe diverged from ours about fifteen zillionths of a second after the big bang, as the laws of physics & biology are canonically different, and the laws of chemistry are probably different. It’s just a fluke that you can survive there in the first place, but there’s nothing you can tell a historian about the 21st century that will be of professional interest to him. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/58 "2010-04-19T22:39:05Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > It’s a Battlestar Galactica joke. D’oh, I totally missed the reference. Can I spend a couple hours licking K’Ehleyr’s forehead or is she dead already? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/59 "2010-04-19T22:43:19Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > D’oh, I totally missed the reference. > Can I spend a couple hours licking K’Ehleyr’s forehead or is she dead already? Been dead a long time. But Suzie Plakson played both a lady Q and a female Vulcan doctor whose name I’m too lazy to look up. The Q is obviously ageless, and the female Vulcan (Selar!) probably looks almost exactly the same; I’m thinking fifteen years to a Vulcan is about a year for a human. I wouldn’t try it with Selar, though. That can only end in tears. You might risk it with LadyQ. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/60 "2010-04-19T22:46:02Z")
I’m not quite sure. I’ve never thought of this further than having them fix me. I’d probably not want to go exploring space: I could do that more safely in a holosuite. (Surely they don’t fail as often as they do on-screen. But I’d have a few contingency measures to make sure I could get out of any situation, including that nice transporter button that Data gave Picard in Nemesis.) I’d study up on everything I could, and probably try to get certain video games into holosuite form. I’m not sure how much of our history is the same, though. I have a feeling that none of my relatives would exist in their universe, and, with different people, creative works will probably be different. I do know one thing: I will not be anywhere near anyone who is a main character on the show. That’s where the red-shirt curse kicks in. People who aren’t on screen with them, and aren’t on their ship tend to lead normal lives. Heck, I’d consider relocating to a planet close to Earth that no one in our universe has heard of. (Close to Earth means no explorers. Not being heard of means nothing interesting ever happens there.) Now, when I started to get closer to death, I’d probably start risking more. But being safe is very important to me. Oh, and I’d eventually try out Synthehol, and any other synth drugs. It seems their technology has allowed them to make safe recreational drugs, that, if you don’t like them, can be taken away. The key point is that you remain in control. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653.md?page=4)