# You're trapped in the Star Trek universe. What do you do now? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 19, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653 "2010-04-19T18:48:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/121 "2010-04-21T20:40:44Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > It seems to be a muddle: > > Work makes a short lived shield out of a communicator badge, and stopped Evil-Data’s bullets on the holodeck, in an old west street duel. > > But then in First Contact, Borg shields don’t stop holographic bullets. > > _shrug_ I’m pretty sure that by overriding the safeties, Picard had the holodeck program replicate an actual Thompson gun with real bullets. If I could meet up with Q (doubtful, unless someone knows a specific way to call him?) I would tell him to scan my memories for everything related to the phrase “Star Trek”. I suspect he would either be horrified or laugh his ass off. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/122 "2010-04-21T20:45:31Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > But then in First Contact, Borg shields don’t stop holographic bullets. There is nothing more dangerous in the Star Trek universe than the holodeck. Seriously, you’re better off skinny-dipping in the nearest sun than enjoying a leisurly Sherlock Holmes or Captain Proton holonovel. Regular bullets? Shields work fine. _Holographic_ bullets? Kiss your shiny metal ass goodbye, Mr. Borg. ---
**Author:** ![FREQ\_FORCE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/fbc32d/32.png) [@FREQ\_FORCE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FREQ_FORCE)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/123 "2010-04-21T20:57:45Z")
I’d also paint whiskers on my face and immediately apply for a Federation charter. My race would need a name. “Cheesedanishians” or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/124 "2010-04-21T20:58:44Z")
Holodeck orgy ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/125 "2010-04-21T21:41:36Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I must be weird. I’m genuinely surprised that I seem to be the only one who’d be trying to find a way home. I’d miss some people and things, but not enough to try to come back. I’d consider coming back if they restored me to full health _and_ I could come back and use future knowledge to my advantage. I’m assuming they wouldn’t let me come back if it would endanger their timeline. If I were from a completely different timeline/alternate universe, I"d want to come back with the most powerful personal computer I could carry. I’m guessing that would allow me to be successful inventing things, or if nothing else, have the computer play the stock market for me or something. Or, hack into the treasury and discreetly transfer a comfortable sum of money into my account, and erase me from the IRS’s database as needed. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/126 "2010-04-21T21:44:41Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > I’d miss some people and things, but not enough to try to come back. I’d consider coming back if they restored me to full health _and_ I could come back and use future knowledge to my advantage. What future knowledge? Our 21st century century is not Trek’s. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/127 "2010-04-21T21:48:07Z")
> [@Lightray](#): > > There is nothing more dangerous in the Star Trek universe than the holodeck. > > Seriously, you’re better off skinny-dipping in the nearest sun than enjoying a leisurly Sherlock Holmes or Captain Proton holonovel. > > Regular bullets? Shields work fine. _Holographic_ bullets? Kiss your shiny metal ass goodbye, Mr. Borg. No, Worf faced the same thing the Borg did: A holodeck with the “safety” protocols nonfunctional. The gun Evil Data used was a holodeck creation, just like Picards Tommy Gun. Also, think about all the time Worf ran through the passageways, smacking Borg with the butt of his rifle or body checking them. You’ld think they would have time to “adapt” (turn on?) shields that stop solid matter. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/128 "2010-04-21T21:51:14Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > What future knowledge? Our 21st century century is not Trek’s. Did you stop reading right at the end of what you quoted? ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/129 "2010-04-21T22:01:17Z")
There is a downside, just think of all the diseases you could get like **Barclay’s Protomorphosis Syndrome** for instance. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/130 "2010-04-22T12:28:37Z")
I’d want a Tribble. ---
**Author:** ![Didactylos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@Didactylos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Didactylos)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/131 "2010-04-22T13:27:59Z")
I would buy a stem-bolt and figure out what their use are. Also try to see if sealing it is really such a pain that you would pay a premium for the self-sealing variety. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/132 "2010-04-22T15:59:22Z")
I’ve got a case of yamok sauce I’ll trade you for it. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/133 "2010-04-22T16:19:57Z")
Or, being a chef earlier in my life. Maybe i’ll open a restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/134 "2010-04-23T03:57:43Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > I’d want a Tribble. Me too. In yamok sauce. ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/135 "2010-04-23T05:41:48Z")
> [@Todderbob](#): > > My rules number 1 - never go in a transporter. It’s not a transporter, it’s a replicator which kills you and makes a copy. Which might explain why there is no obvious human religion in the Trek universe (at least among the main characters - Ignoring Chakotay, of course). Unless there is a religion that says your soul gets replicated along with your body, or magically jumps to your new body. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/136 "2010-04-23T05:53:01Z")
I take off my red shirt. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653/137 "2010-04-23T06:27:57Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > I’d go directly to my bank and see what 300 years of compound interest has netted me…TRM And find out that the Rule Against Perpetuities police confiscated all of it. Damn! > [@Bakhesh](#): > > Seek out 7of9 and teach her that concept we humans call Love. > > Also, reprogram Data so he can use abbreviations… > > if (speech==“Do not”){ > speech=“Don’t” > } Nitpick: contractions. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-trapped-in-the-star-trek-universe-what-do-you-do-now/536653.md?page=6)