# You're very "complicated" - compliment or not? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 12, 2015, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688 "2015-08-12T21:33:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/1 "2015-08-12T21:33:21Z")
Let’s say that you knew that people regarded you as a “complicated” person. Would you feel complimented by this knowledge, or feel it derogatory? Also, are men less likely than women to regard such an appraisal as offensive? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/2 "2015-08-12T21:34:33Z")
I see neutral to derogatory. I can’t see any way to make that a compliment. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/3 "2015-08-12T21:37:15Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I see neutral to derogatory. I can’t see any way to make that a compliment. Well, it could imply intelligence or complex thinking. “Simple” can also be derogatory; I guess either simple or complicated can be regarded as bad. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/4 "2015-08-12T21:39:43Z")
Complex-neutral to good Complicated-neutral to bad ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/5 "2015-08-12T21:40:09Z")
It means they can’t fit you into one of their handy little boxes that tells them everything they think they know about you. I take that as a compliment. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/6 "2015-08-12T21:41:28Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Complex-neutral to good > Complicated-neutral to bad Good point; the wording matters. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/7 "2015-08-12T21:41:54Z")
To me, complicated and complex are very different, connotatively. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Angry\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b38774/32.png) [@The\_Angry\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Angry_Badger)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/8 "2015-08-12T21:42:42Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Complex-neutral to good > Complicated-neutral to bad This. Complex = opposite of ‘simple’, implies a deep thinker, an intelligent person. Can be used as a kind of insult, but usually I’d take that as a compliment of sorts. Complicated = messy, difficult to deal with. Possibly comes with a lot of drama. I’d take that as fairly derogatory. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/9 "2015-08-12T21:43:30Z")
It means he’s willing to risk his neck for his fellow man, and that nobody understands him but his woman. Can you dig it? ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/10 "2015-08-12T22:33:35Z")
If it comes from a woman, it is categorically derisive. Men, more individually-minded, appreciate complexity. ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/11 "2015-08-12T23:16:26Z")
Although it is not a compliment, I think that ‘derogatory’ is too harsh a term for ‘complicated’. To me complicated means ‘more than meets the eye emotionally’ or ‘has issues’. And of course these can vary widely, but they are all definitely ‘cautionary’ statements. They don’t mean ‘dump this guy/girl immediately’, they mean ‘don’t assume you know everything about them yet’… ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/12 "2015-08-12T23:33:48Z")
I would never use the term complicated in a positive sense. Think about it in other uses… complicated is just not a good thing compared to the alternatives. Sometimes it is necessary and we put up with it, and that’s pretty much what I’d mean if I was using it to describe a person. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/13 "2015-08-13T00:20:22Z")
People close to me have called me complicated lots of times. I chose to take it as a compliment but I don’t think it was intended that way. If I was on the outside looking back at me, I don’t think I would mean it in a complimentary way either. Oh well, fuck’em. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/14 "2015-08-13T00:22:51Z")
I would call it neutral to good and probably take it as both a compliment and a simple statement of fact. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/15 "2015-08-13T00:26:51Z")
Everybody is complicated and complex. Therefor being called that is a tautology. When I get called that I always take it to mean that whomever said it has given up trying to figure me out. I’ve certainly given up trying to explain myself, so that would be the word I use to sidestep the discussion and get back to drinkin’ ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/16 "2015-08-13T00:31:44Z")
IMO “complicated” is simply a euphemism for “drama queen”. Regardless of the genders involved. “Complex” can be pejorative or weakly complimentary. If the person saying “(s)he is complex” is him/herself simple, then “complex” is always pejorative. If the sayer is complex, the term can be complimentary to the sayee, but may not be. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/17 "2015-08-13T01:06:57Z")
Complicated and complex have never been complimentary when said about me. Or I’ve never taken them well, though I’ll pretend otherwise because I’m lousy at reading people and could be wrong. I’m complicated like that. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/18 "2015-08-13T01:07:36Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > It means he’s willing to risk his neck for his fellow man, and that nobody understands him but his woman. Can you dig it? Shut your mouth! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Room](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_room/32/5069_2.png) [@Little\_Room](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Room)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/19 "2015-08-13T02:31:39Z")
I would say derogatory. It is a term that I have used - once - as a synonym for “you are tedious, illogical, and emotionally draining. The very fact that you are awkwardly demanding that I describe you in one word is a tiny bit of evidence for this fact. However, my social context requires me to be around you at times, so I can’t say all of that without causing more trouble for myself, so that’s why I am telling you that you are ‘complicated’” 😃 So there is one data point… ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688/20 "2015-08-13T02:51:54Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Shut your mouth! I’m just talkin bout OP’s theoretical person! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-very-complicated-compliment-or-not/727688.md?page=2)