# You've been framed for murder. What TV cop do you want to catch the case? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 8, 2006, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616 "2006-11-08T22:11:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/1 "2006-11-08T22:11:47Z")
Here’s how it is: You’re visiting Manhattan, Vegas, Los Angeles, or Miami for a convention at which you’re supposed to give a major presentation that will help determine whether you get a major, pay-doubling promotion. Also attending is a former supervisor of yours, whom you accused of sexual harassment a year earlier; said supervisor has a lot of influence with your company, so though you won your case he/she has suffered few ill effects, while you have seen your career stall. At your presentation, this former boss sabotages you at the, thus sinking your chances. You and the ex-boss have an argument in a elevator, before witnesses at first, in which you blame him/her for sinking your chances; laughing haughtily, the ex-boss tells you that if you really want the promotion you should be prepared to play ball. Infuriated and insulted, you stalk off to the hotel restaurant, where you order a lavish dinner and a single scotch & soda. You wake up the next morning in the former boss’s hotel room–in the bed, to be specific – naked, bloody, hung over, and holding a knife, with no memory of anything after your dinner being delivered. Your ex-boss is also in the bed–equally naked and bloody, but, beng dead, much less hung over. At the foot of the bed is a hotel security guard, his gun pointed at you, saying, “Don’t move an inch, murderer.” What TV detective do you hope catches this case, and why? (And for the sake of argument, we’ll call the teams on the CSI shows detectives. Though I still hate them all.) ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/2 "2006-11-08T22:14:19Z")
Hotel security guards carry guns now? At any rate, I’d take Monk. ---
**Author:** ![Carlyjay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Carlyjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carlyjay)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/3 "2006-11-08T22:15:20Z")
Gil Grissom, please and thank you. I love he. He nice. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/4 "2006-11-08T22:15:32Z")
Lt. Frank Drebbin. 'Cause you know it’d be fun. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/5 "2006-11-08T22:20:00Z")
Nero Wolfe. Only the best. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/6 "2006-11-08T22:21:07Z")
Not a TV cop, and not an American cop, but – Inspector Jacques Clouseau. You know that if he’s on the case, the guilty party will be found one way or another. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/7 "2006-11-08T22:21:50Z")
Gimme Columbo. He’ll see right through the frame-job and will trick the real perp into incriminating himself. ---
**Author:** ![Skipper\_Too](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Skipper\_Too](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skipper_Too)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/8 "2006-11-08T22:28:22Z")
I only want to add is that before leaving I would find out where Mrs. Jessica Fletcher is, and if she plans on being anywhere near the convention I was planning on attending, cause everyone knows if she is somewhere near, someone is going to die. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/9 "2006-11-08T22:36:16Z")
Gotta go with Columbo, too. Though he always gets his man, Monk seems to come down-to-the-wire in catching the bad guys right before they escape. I would hate to bank my fate on a single eyelash or some other piece of minutae that the CSIs find. And Perry Mason doesn’t get his man until the trial, so that would take too long. So Columbo it is. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/10 "2006-11-08T22:37:01Z")
[QUOTE=bouv] Hotel security guards carry guns now? [/quote] I was going to say they do on … um… that Nikki Cox show set in Las Vegas whose name I think is Vegas but I’m not sure and I’m too lazy to look up. Anyway, I saw a security guard on that show with a gun in a commercial, but I’ve never actually watched it so I may well be wrong. At any rate, I’d take Monk. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/11 "2006-11-08T22:38:26Z")
Also Columbo. He’ll see right through the lies with his relentless yet amiable interrogation. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/12 "2006-11-08T22:38:55Z")
Can I have Monk and Columbo? ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/13 "2006-11-08T22:39:12Z")
Detective Robert Goren. Man, _nothing_ gets by him. There’s been a couple of episodes of _Law and Order: Criminal Intent_ (my favorite cop show, by the way; he’s kind of a latter day Sherlock Holmes) where the culprit tried to frame someone, but to no avail. Goren saw right through them. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/14 "2006-11-08T22:41:35Z")
[QUOTE=Dr. Rieux] Can I have Monk and Columbo? [/QUOTE] Sure, if you can convince Monk to go anywhere near that filthy old raincoat that Columbo wears. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/15 "2006-11-08T22:45:26Z")
Just to be different, my convention is in Dallas, Texas, and I want Walker, Texas Ranger to come to my rescue. ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/16 "2006-11-08T22:57:02Z")
Goran & Eames. because, even when every bit of evidence points to one person, Goran always JUST KNOWS that person is innocent because the other person has to be guilty. or Olivia Benson 'cause she probably wouldn’t be too mean to me and would be inclined to believe me because I’m just a little girl. (_eyelash flutter_) Plus… being a hungover fifteen year old girl naked in my dead boss’s bed and remembering nothing… even if I couldn’t prove I didn’t do it, Det. Benson would be on my side and argue on my behalf that it MUST have been self-defense. I’d also ask for a tox screen first thing if the detectives didn’t already. In case I had been drugged… and to prove I was intoxicated (or can they do that? How quickly does blood alcohol level get back to normal?) and so am not lying when I say I don’t remember. (because… if I really don’t remember, how would I know for sure I didn’t kill him?) Also, I’d want Judge Petrovsky from Law & Order SVU. She always seemed very fair to me. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/17 "2006-11-08T23:06:18Z")
[QUOTE=SurrenderDorothy] Goran & Eames. because, even when every bit of evidence points to one person, Goran always JUST KNOWS that person is innocent because the other person has to be guilty. [/quote] I agree, though you’d have to put up with Eames vocally asserting your guilt very early on. On the other hand she’s hot. > [@](#): > > or Olivia Benson 'cause she probably wouldn’t be too mean to me and would be inclined to believe me because I’m just a little girl. (_eyelash flutter_) Plus… being a hungover fifteen year old girl naked in my dead boss’s bed and remembering nothing… even if I couldn’t prove I didn’t do it, Det. Benson would be on my side and argue on my behalf that it MUST have been self-defense. Actually I think Stabler would be quicker to believe a 15-year-old-girl was incapable of murder than Benson would be; he has a hard time not being a dad. On the other hand, if you seemed to have been raped Benson would be very likely to be on your side quickly. As to the people who argue Monk, I’m tempted to say he shouldn’t be allowed, as he’s not actually a cop. However, he works almost exclusively for the SFPD, and he tends to be treated as an informal member of Stottlemeyer’s squad anyway, so he’s basically a cop without a pension. ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/18 "2006-11-08T23:06:24Z")
You guys beat me to Goren. Can I share? _Nothing_ gets by him. He’ll clear me and nail the real murderer. Then I can thank him in my own special way **wink wink** cause he is h-o-t on top of all the brains. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/19 "2006-11-08T23:08:07Z")
I’ll take Booth and Bones. There will be a few red herrings, but their Magically Delicious “Science” Machines will be able to go back in time and find out that I’m .93 inches too short to have done it and the sheets were washed in another town. I’d request Veronica Mars, but it would take 15 weeks to get anywhere, and I wouldn’t be allowed to snog Logan anyway, so what’s the point? ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/20 "2006-11-08T23:17:35Z")
[QUOTE=pinkfreud] Gimme Columbo. He’ll see right through the frame-job and will trick the real perp into incriminating himself. [/QUOTE] I have to go with Columbo, too. That guy just never gives up; he always has “Just one more question, sir,” until the real perp breaks down and confesses. I like how he made Donald Pleasence confess by determining that the wine in his cellar had corked from excess temperatures. A close second would be Quincy. Not a cop, true, but he always saw through murder frames, and he lived on a boat. [QUOTE=Skipper Too] I only want to add is that before leaving I would find out where Mrs. Jessica Fletcher is, and if she plans on being anywhere near the convention I was planning on attending, cause everyone knows if she is somewhere near, someone is going to die. [/QUOTE] I still contend that she was a serial mass murderer with a penchant for boastful clue-leaving and the ability to make people decieve themselves. She makes Tom Ripley look like a rank amateur at getting away with murder. Plus, we know that she’s hooked up with the Manchurian people to do deep hypnosis; it’s likely that the alleged “murderers” are just her charges who she instructs to make a kill. “Why don’t you pass the time with a game of solitaire?” Stranger [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616.md?page=2)