# You've been framed for murder. What TV cop do you want to catch the case?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [November 8, 2006, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616 "2006-11-08T22:11:47Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/41 "2006-11-09T08:30:19Z")

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…Thomas Magnum gets my vote: he was just so 80’s cool. I would also hire my dream team defense lawyers just in case: Alan Shore and Denny Crane.

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**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/42 "2006-11-09T08:59:35Z")

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Columbo, I’m always a sucker for the classics.

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**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/43 "2006-11-09T09:22:53Z")

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[QUOTE=Jet Jaguar]  
Well, to be _really_ different my convention is in 1890’s London, and I want Inspector Lestrade of Scotland Yard to take the case. Oh, he’d be certain of my guilt, but confused by a few singular peculiarities of my case, he would call upon Sherlock Holmes to help clear up the finer points. After one searching look at me and commenting that I had been to China and my neighbor is an avid gardener, he would explain how every bit of evidence clearly shows that I couldn’t have done it, if only one were as practiced as him at observing. He would then be off, with the promise to call again tomorrow evening. Not a moment to lose since it’s Wednesday (which is an important fact) and it may be too late already. The real criminal might not be caught, but I’d at least be cleared.

(_Sherlock Holmes_ counts, doesn’t he? His stories have been adapted to television, after all.)  
[/QUOTE]

Well, in that case, I want Cadfael to be on the case. With any luck, [Hugh Beringar](http://www.ar.com.au/~jriddler/pert/cad.html) will come to my aid and I will swoon prettily, and he will be convinced of my innocence wholly and completely . . . though that isn’t likely, since he’s too smart to fall for that.

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**Author:** ![cckerberos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@cckerberos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cckerberos)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/44 "2006-11-09T09:59:54Z")

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[QUOTE=GuanoLad]  
Judge Dredd.

He is the Law.  
[/QUOTE]

Of course, he’d find you innocent of the murder and then send you to the cubes for something else.

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**Author:** ![The\_Dumbest\_Guy\_in\_the\_Room](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@The\_Dumbest\_Guy\_in\_the\_Room](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Dumbest_Guy_in_the_Room)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/45 "2006-11-09T10:03:35Z")

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Not a cop, but I’d like _Jonathan Creek_ in my corner. Hell if he’s on the case then throw in a lot more evidence that I’m guilty, and I’m still not going to be worried.

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**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/46 "2006-11-09T10:09:36Z")

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[QUOTE=Cervaise]  
How about Co-monk-bo, a hybrid of the two?

“Oh, wait, one more thing. No, I mean, two more things. Three. Three more things. Hang on, I’ll start over.”  
[/QUOTE]

Shouldn’t that be ten more things?

That’s who I was going to go for…either one or both.

[hijack] Given that he’s LAPD I always wished Columbo worked the OJ Simpson case. “Oh, I understand. You didn’t have a knife. Well I’ll be leaving now…except…just one other thing Mr Simpson…” He whouldn’t have stood a chance.[/hijack]

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**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/47 "2006-11-09T10:21:19Z")

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As others have said, Goren is the best detective. He has no equal in the overall tasks of observing the scene, having ideas and interrogating suspects.  
And Eames is jolly nice too. 😉

Columbo is first reserve.

(I realise Monk is obsessively observant, but he has no authority.  
Imagine the confrontation with the real murderer:  
Monk “Errr, you did it because …”  
Murderer spits.  
Monk “Agh!” and runs out.)

(Nero Wolfe is a deep thinker, but won’t come to the crime scene.)

Clearly Gil Grissom is the man to gather evidence, though can I get Natalia Boa Vista involved somehow? The idea of her using swabs on me appeals greatly… :o

If it comes to trial, Perry Mason for my defence.

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**Author:** ![Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/edb3f5/32.png) [@Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Push_Up_Bra)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/48 "2006-11-09T10:33:23Z")

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Monk, Goren and Benson - they actually act like real investigators, ie. stay out of the damn lab and analysis of forensic findings. That’s why I find CSI and Criminal Minds laughable but love Law and Order and NCIS - the investigators stay out of the lab and the forensic analysts don’t interrogate suspects, neither do the profilers.

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**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/49 "2006-11-09T10:35:27Z")

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[QUOTE=Fern Forest]  
Columbo also let that one lady get off since she was so old and forgot she murdered whoever she did murder. But I’d still go for him.  
[/QUOTE]

The one where Janet Leigh murdered her husband, Sam Jaffe, while watching a print of her old movie, _Walking my Baby Back Home_, only it turned out she had a fatal brain tumor and only a few momths to live?

Yeah, I may have seen it.

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**Author:** ![Bobalude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bobalude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobalude)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/50 "2006-11-09T10:54:56Z")

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Jack Bauer who can do it in 24 hours FTW

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**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/51 "2006-11-09T11:34:51Z")

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[QUOTE=cckerberos]  
Of course, he’d find you innocent of the murder and then send you to the cubes for something else.  
[/QUOTE]

Yeah, has Guanolad read his stories (the movie was on TV so he counts I guess 😉 )

You’ll end up in the cubes for a stretch for sure on another misdemenour, carrying sugar or the like, or you’ll receive rad poisoning and have to be shot on site 😛

Few TV detectives would let you down, [Regan and Carter](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sweeney) were popular with real life criminal types for not always getting their man for example. So you’d need to worry about what would happen to you in between the framing and the clearing. Law and Order IIRC had a few innocent people come a cropper, but CSI Miami lets you sit around in the sun for a bit, as a bonus Horatio will meet you outside and give you the old “whipping off the sunglasses and shake hands” goodbye, espeically if you’re a single mum whose hubby was murdered.

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**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/52 "2006-11-09T12:02:50Z")

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Miss Marple, she wears nice hats

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**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/53 "2006-11-09T12:03:40Z")

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For some reason **Crockett and Tubbs** come to mind. I have no idea, but the background music would be cool.

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**Author:** ![Hook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecae2f/32.png) [@Hook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hook)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/54 "2006-11-09T12:13:02Z")

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Good Lord!! This far in and no-one wants Jim Rockford. I’d take him just because you’d meet the most interesting people. You’d eventually get off (probably after being beaten up and in a car wreck).

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**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/55 "2006-11-09T12:15:44Z")

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Columbo. Definitely Columbo…

…now, before I leave…let me ask you one more question…

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**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/56 "2006-11-09T12:23:51Z")

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Either Goren or Monk.

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**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/57 "2006-11-09T14:26:22Z")

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James West and Artimus Gordan.  
Being Secret Service I’m sure they can be refered to as cops. Cool music, cool train, cool suits and if I’m lucky, Dr. Migelito Loveless framed me.

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**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/58 "2006-11-09T14:36:30Z")

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Andy Sipowitz. He’d find the killer and deliver a vicious beating to boot.

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**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/59 "2006-11-09T15:58:54Z")

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If we can go back 25+ years, I want _Charlie’s Angels_ hired to clear my name, and I’d want to have been arrested by Det. Dietrich of the 12th precint. As I’m probably guilty anyway, might as well go down surrounded by beautiful women and laughing!

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**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2006, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-framed-for-murder-what-tv-cop-do-you-want-to-catch-the-case/379616/60 "2006-11-09T16:05:08Z")

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Doctor Mark Sloan of Diagnosis Murder, assisted by Amanda as played by Cynthia Gibb (not Victoria Rowley)

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