# youve been murdered most fouly what fictional dective would you want to investigate? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 12, 2019, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986 "2019-03-12T03:25:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/21 "2019-03-12T05:30:40Z")
Ace Ventura. I just want him to do another package delivery intro. Even if I have to die to get it done. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/22 "2019-03-12T06:01:30Z")
briscoe and logan from the good years on law and order monk and colombo although they might kill each other before they solved me and the cold case squad …just the right amount of misfits to get things done ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/23 "2019-03-12T06:15:52Z")
Scooby and the gang. Not Scrappy, I hate that little punk. Them meddlin’ teens!! ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/24 "2019-03-12T06:28:56Z")
Takeshi Kovacs for me, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![tripthicket](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripthicket/32/297_2.png) [@tripthicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tripthicket)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/25 "2019-03-12T07:28:40Z")
Harry Dresden. If I gotta be dead, I want half of Chicago, I mean, my hometown in flames/overrun by vampires/visited by living dinosaur skeletons. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/26 "2019-03-12T08:51:19Z")
His Grace, Sir Samuel Vimes, Duke of the Cities of Ankh and Morpork; with the able assistance of Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/27 "2019-03-12T09:00:22Z")
John Constantine. Mostly because that means whoever killed me is going to get pissed beyond off by a master troll before getting their comeuppance. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/28 "2019-03-12T09:19:27Z")
[William of Baskerville](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Name_of_the_Rose) because it means that I have been dead for about 600 years. I should be over it all by now. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/29 "2019-03-12T10:35:35Z")
Inch High Private Eye. 😃 Really probably **Claude Lebel**. From my own experiences I’ve learned the best detectives are always tenacious as all hell. I know who I wouldn’t want investigating: Lt. Arthur Tragg and DA Hamilton Burger from Perry Mason. They had a terrible habit of arresting/charging the wrong people every week. HTF did that DA ever get re-elected? :eek:😕 Sheriff Roy Coffee from Bonanza was kind of a dumb ass too and locked up several innocent folks. He should have been booted from office as well! > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Not Scrappy, I hate that little punk. Me too! It’s actually fun to hate him!😛 ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/30 "2019-03-12T12:14:32Z")
Encyclopedia Brown. Just because. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/31 "2019-03-12T12:25:05Z")
Them Hardy boys were kinda ‘dreamy’. If I was a teen who was murdered, send me the boys, please. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/32 "2019-03-12T12:52:43Z")
DCI Tom Barnaby or his brother. A long history of successful investigations. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/33 "2019-03-12T12:55:29Z")
Judge Dee. Djien Djieh Dee is the only detective I’ve ever read who used the term “murdered most folly,” so I’m sure he’d get to the bottom of the case, even if , as a T’ang dynasty Chinese official, he’d probably need some time to get up to speed in the modern world. (“Tao Gan, see if you can bypass the password on this website.”) ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/34 "2019-03-12T13:23:55Z")
Adrian Monk. (Not so sure about that captain he works for. He looks like the sort of guy that would throw you in a hole in his basement and say stuff like “It puts the lotion on it’s skin, or else it gets the hose again.”) ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/35 "2019-03-12T13:27:36Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Encyclopedia Brown. Just because. Bugs Meany did it! ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/36 "2019-03-12T13:32:31Z")
Sherlock Hemlock ---
**Author:** ![somepumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@somepumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/somepumpkin)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/37 "2019-03-12T13:34:13Z")
Another vote for Adrian Monk. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/38 "2019-03-12T13:38:01Z")
To quote Ed McBain: If I get murdered, do not call Jessica Fletcher. Call the cops. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/39 "2019-03-12T13:43:10Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Harry “Snapper” Organs. Yes, but only if he’d been following the case in the colour supplements. Otherwise Sherlock Holmes, if played by Jeremy Brett. Masterful, whip-smart and implacable. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/40 "2019-03-12T13:48:11Z")
What about a team up between Adrian Monk and Shawn Spencer? The investigation would be Hillarious, a few innocents would be fingered at first, but eventually the real killed will be brought to confess when Monk and Spencer are both telling theories at him in a grand finale. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986.md?page=3)