# youve been murdered most fouly what fictional dective would you want to investigate? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 12, 2019, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986 "2019-03-12T03:25:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/61 "2019-03-12T18:53:39Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Yep, Nero and Archie. They always get their man. So does Dudley Do-Right. šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/62 "2019-03-12T18:56:14Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > So does Dudley Do-Right. šŸ˜› Yeahā€¦but with Dudley Do-Right it is always the same man-Snidely Whiplash. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/63 "2019-03-12T19:05:48Z")
Poirot. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_Arachnid_Laser_1)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/64 "2019-03-12T19:07:30Z")
Dexter Morgan. I want the bastard who did me in to die brutally. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/65 "2019-03-12T19:10:37Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Sherlock Holmes and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle were not the same person. Conan Doyle believed in wacky things that Holmes never would, or did. Yet he never communicated his doubts to this ā€œother personā€. Strange, that. Might suggest that they werenā€™t so different after all. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_Arachnid_Laser_1)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/66 "2019-03-12T19:10:50Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Either that or she was cursed to be a harbinger of death. ā˜¹ Most of the murders happened in Cabot Cove. Maybe it was something in the water that turned regular people into psychotic murderers. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/67 "2019-03-12T19:15:46Z")
There are a lot of good detectives still on the board. Lenny Brisco from Law & Order, Kay Howard & Meldrick Lewis from Homicide: Life on the Street, Benton Frasier of the RCMP currently serving as at the Canadian consulate in Chicago and his friend, Detective Ray Vechio of the Chicago PD, Detective Mick Belker of wherever the heck Hill Street Blues was set, Det. Virgil Tubbs of Sparta MS, Det. Jane Rizzoli of the Boston PD, Lt. Abbie Mills of Sleepy Hollow, Deputy Barney Fife of Mayberry, etc etc etc. Iā€™m going with the Mountie in Chicago and his friend, Frasier & Vechio. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/68 "2019-03-12T19:18:32Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Yet he never communicated his doubts to this ā€œother personā€. > > Strange, that. > > Might suggest that they werenā€™t so different after all. Doyle was very good at separating his fictional detective (and some other creations) from his own beliefs. Holmes very notably dismissed supernatural explanations in _The Case of the Sussex Vampire_ and in the novel _The Hound of the Baskervilles_. He even spared his Professor Challenger (central figure of not only _The Lost World_, but of _The Poison Belt, The Land of Mist_, and a couple of short stories. When he DID go embarrassingly off the deep end into the supernatural in _The Maracot Deep_, he invented a new professor, Professor Maracot, to be his mouthpiece. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/69 "2019-03-12T19:31:59Z")
> [@zamboniracer](#): > > There are a lot of good detectives still on the board. Lenny Brisco from Law & Order, Kay Howard & Meldrick Lewis from Homicide: Life on the Street, Benton Frasier of the RCMP currently serving as at the Canadian consulate in Chicago and his friend, Detective Ray Vechio of the Chicago PD, Detective Mick Belker of wherever the heck Hill Street Blues was set, Det. Virgil Tubbs of Sparta MS, Det. Jane Rizzoli of the Boston PD, Lt. Abbie Mills of Sleepy Hollow, Deputy Barney Fife of Mayberry, etc etc etc. > > Iā€™m going with the Mountie in Chicago and his friend, Frasier & Vechio. Any particular reason you left out Dirk Gently? ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/70 "2019-03-12T19:34:47Z")
Just an addition to my hope that Adrian Monk investigates my murder. I also want [Dr. Julia Ogden](https://murdochmysteries.fandom.com/wiki/Julia_Ogden) to perform my autopsy. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/71 "2019-03-12T19:57:07Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > Just an addition to my hope that Adrian Monk investigates my murder. I also want [Dr. Julia Ogden](https://murdochmysteries.fandom.com/wiki/Julia_Ogden) to perform my autopsy. Iā€™d like Dr Al Robbins on _ **CSI** _. I wouldnā€™t mind Gil Grissom investigating my murder, either. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/72 "2019-03-12T20:12:43Z")
Magnum, because it would mean I was in Hawaii. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/73 "2019-03-12T20:41:44Z")
Inspector Wexford. I wouldnā€™t go with the Barnaby cousins, because Iā€™m not going anywhere NEAR Midsomer. Their murder rate is astronomical! ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/74 "2019-03-12T20:47:45Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > Inspector Wexford. > > I wouldnā€™t go with the Barnaby cousins, because Iā€™m not going anywhere NEAR Midsomer. Their murder rate is astronomical! Itā€™s as high as Cabot Cove, Maine, and Kembleford, UK. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/75 "2019-03-12T20:50:23Z")
Since Iā€™m a vengeful sort, Iā€™d want the investigator into my murder to be Jack Reacher. He might not build an airtight case, but heā€™s fully capable of unleashing major whoop-ass on the perpetrator(s). Second choice would be Matt Scudder, who isnā€™t above killing the bad guys (or framing someone for a serious crime if he canā€™t get the goods on them for a specific murder). ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/76 "2019-03-12T21:08:39Z")
Iā€™ll take Reacher if Machete isnā€™t availableā€¦ good choice. Again, my selection of Machete isnā€™t just about solving my murder. Itā€™s about _what comes after_. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/77 "2019-03-12T21:16:30Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > ā€¦Next would be Christopher Foyleā€¦or Robbie Lewis & James Hathaway (advantage to Hathaway). Same here. Preferably Lewis so my grieving\* wife could meet Hathaway. - Or _is_ she???.. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/78 "2019-03-12T21:21:30Z")
Iā€™m kinda leaning toward Jim Qwilleran and his 2 Siamese cats, Koko and Yum-Yum. Just because Iā€™m pretty sure the cats do all the detecting. I can just see the headlines: ā€œMURDER OF BECKDAWREK case solved by Two SIAMESE CATSā€ Not her own 2. They didnā€™t really give a shit whether she was dead or not! ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/79 "2019-03-12T21:31:22Z")
John Luther. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2019, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986/80 "2019-03-12T21:32:59Z")
My first thought was Lord Peter Wimsey. But now that Iā€™ve read the thread, I think Christopher Foyle, Lennie Briscoe and Sherlock Holmes in the person of Benedict Cumberbatch would all be worthy investigators. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-murdered-most-fouly-what-fictional-dective-would-you-want-to-investigate/830986.md?page=5)