# You've been sent to Hell... with a personalized soundtrack! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 18, 2007, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219 "2007-07-18T03:02:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/1 "2007-07-18T03:02:10Z")
Sorry to tell ya this, but you’ve been sent to Hell. Remember that time you skipped PE and the idiotic assistant coach still counted you as “present”? That was the tipping point. Yeah, it’s a rum old world. What’s worse is that you are damned with a personalized soundtrack of your most loathed, most irritating songs of all time. From that TV sitcom theme that wouldn’t leave your head for a three month period, to that overblown, overproduced aborted piece of shiite they constantly played on the radio back in 1996… this is your Soundtrack to Hell. _The Final Countdown_, Europe. OMG, I can’t tell you what the main keyboard theme does to my spine except to liken it to fingernails on a chalkboard. _Fire and Rain_, James Taylor. The word “banal” doesn’t do JT a bit of justice, however at times he rises to a level of mediocrity that burns in your brain like a hot poker. _I’ve Never Been to Me_, Charlene. Hey lady, sweet lady, just shut yer yap, willya? The theme to _The Incredible Hulk_ cartoon series (1960’s-70’s version). Easily the worst time I ever had with a song stuck in my head, this one lasted for _weeks_. Like a bad cold, you’d think it went away and then you’d wake up the next morning with a nose full of snot. _Eine Kleine Nachtmusik_, Mozart. I love Mozart, but this overplayed ditty has done nothing for me since the age of 8 other than to expose his weaknesses in greater works. ☹ _Send in the Clowns_, Judy Collins. WTF? Who the hell wrote this thing - I need to go kick his ass! Freakin’ _MacArthurs Park_ is a masterpiece next to this thing. _Feelings_, Morris Albert. Make it stop, oh please God, MAKE IT STOP!!! _Mony Mony/I Think We’re Alone Now_, Tommy James and the Shondells. Two pieces of crap for the price of one. _The End_, The Doors. Yeah, I know a lot of people really love this group but the only constant I hear in their music is a lot of posturing. _My Girl_, The Temptations. You ever hear a song so much that you wish you could buy the rights in perpetuity so you’d never have to hear the thing again? That’s me and _My Girl_. So… what’s your Soundtrack to Hell? ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/2 "2007-07-18T03:19:54Z")
That damned song “Popcorn” that was played to death c. 1970’s at all skating rinks. That would be followed by “Send in the clowns” and “When my granny…” running cadence. Yeah, Hell would suck with those songs. If there is a hell, also it would have Shaina Twain singing acapella to me. SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/3 "2007-07-18T03:24:57Z")
No contest, no discussion: Tom Jones singing the marvelously condescending “She’s A Lady”. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/4 "2007-07-18T03:38:59Z")
I’ve got more, but two before bedtime - “Wildfire” - a pony got lost in a “killing frost”? Has the songwriter even seen frost before? Maybe the pony deserved death; it’ll improve the gene pool. “Last Kiss”, the remake by Pearl Jam. The original version of this “romantic teen death” song was enough; you really didn’t have to revive it to torment me. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/5 "2007-07-18T03:46:13Z")
Christmas music, interrupted occasionally by the Rat Pack’s catalog of standards. No, wait, [_this_](http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Rat-Pack-Frank-Sinatra/dp/B00006IJWZ) on an endless loop. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/6 "2007-07-18T03:46:51Z")
I second _Mony Mony_, anyone’s version. Add Phil Collins’ _Susudio_ and that ‘Friends’ themesong _I’ll Be There For You_, and whew it is getting hot in here. Where’s my pitchfork? ---
**Author:** ![I\_m\_Ron\_Burgundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9fc29f/32.png) [@I\_m\_Ron\_Burgundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_m_Ron_Burgundy)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/7 "2007-07-18T03:51:16Z")
Eminem’s catalog. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/8 "2007-07-18T03:54:55Z")
I just read that Stephen Sondheim wrote SITC. Well, Stevie, you can’t win them all… much to my everlasting regret… and torment. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/9 "2007-07-18T04:18:27Z")
\*Seasons In The Sun Billy Don’t Be A Hero The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face Send In The Clowns Never Gonna Give You Up\* Any opera. ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/10 "2007-07-18T04:26:29Z")
Postcards from LA. I didn’t even know this was by Joshua Kadison until it got stuck in my head this week. All week. My husband denies knowing of its existence at all. I was barely conscious of it before but now… NOW… send me postcards from LA, signed with love from a pickax through my eyesocket. ---
**Author:** ![boggle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/848f3c/32.png) [@boggle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boggle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/11 "2007-07-18T04:31:05Z")
Sweet Child of Mine by the yowler who sings it, whoever he is Beth by Kiss Stroke Me by ? Any rap song And I Am Telling You (yes, I’ve watched too much Idol) I Write The Songs by Barry Manilow top that… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/12 "2007-07-18T04:39:07Z")
Pretty Woman, or anything by Roy Orbison. Sidewalk Talk, by Jellybean–the single catchiest, most irritating song ever Bobby’s Girl–for those of you unfamiliar with this song, I give you the chorus: \*I want to be Bobby’s girl I want to be Bobby’s girl That’s the most important thing to me… And if I was Bobby’s girl If I was Bobby’s girl What a faithful, thankful girl I’d be\* ---
**Author:** ![Windwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5e9695/32.png) [@Windwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Windwalker)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/13 "2007-07-18T04:42:34Z")
My list would be pretty short: - Any Beijing Opera. The high-pitched squeaking and ululating that drills itself into your head after a few seconds and slowly eats away at your sanity as you try in vain to imagine more pleasant sounds, like Gilbert Godfrey shouting in your ear. - Madonna’s “Music”. Appalling in its awfulness. It doesn’t make me think of “Music”, it makes me think of using a 20 pound hammer on Madonna’s vocal chords. - A lot of Christmas music, though with special mention for “Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire”. This song makes me sick with bile, until it coalesces into a pure seething hatred of the world. I hope whoever wrote this song is roasting on an open fire… in hell! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/14 "2007-07-18T04:48:35Z")
[QUOTE=koeeoaddi] Christmas music, interrupted occasionally by the Rat Pack’s catalog of standards. No, wait, [_this_](http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Rat-Pack-Frank-Sinatra/dp/B00006IJWZ) on an endless loop. [/QUOTE] my girlfriend plays this ALL the time. I know how you feel… ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/15 "2007-07-18T04:51:25Z")
_I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never going to Keep me down_ ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/16 "2007-07-18T05:27:35Z")
Oh yes. To my list add: **Anything by Yoko Ono**. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/17 "2007-07-18T05:50:09Z")
The catalogue of the band Foreigner on endless repeat. That would be Hell. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/18 "2007-07-18T06:09:43Z")
Marching band music. Modern pop country. ---
**Author:** ![VanillaGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f9ae1b/32.png) [@VanillaGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VanillaGorilla)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/19 "2007-07-18T06:14:21Z")
Oh, definitely christmas music! In my personal hell there would be christmas celebrations going on all year long. Oh, and throw in some (swedish “artist”) Håkan Hellström there too, for good measure. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219/20 "2007-07-18T06:59:24Z")
_MacArthur Park._ _“It’s a Small World After all”_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-been-sent-to-hell-with-a-personalized-soundtrack/412219.md?page=2)