# You've Gotta Laugh And Cry **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 1, 2008, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573 "2008-04-01T19:59:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/1 "2008-04-01T19:59:47Z")
There is a guy in prison in South Carolina. His name is Jonathan Lee Riches and he’s in jail for wire fraud. But that’s not why I’m discussing him. His claim to fame (as it were) is that he has filed over 1500 pro se lawsuits around the country over the last few years. The judges have finally blocked his access to the courts (unless his suits meet certain criteria) in the future. However, I looked up one of his suits and saw something that was at the same time humorous and sad. On July 15, 2007, he filed suit against President Bush. Well, not just President Bush. The defendants were President Bush and the following list of people, organizations and objects real and fictitious: > [@](#): > > George W Bush, Richard B. Cheney, Condeleza Rice, Donald H Rumsfeld, John W Snow, Unknown Authors, Carlos M Gutierrez, Michael O Leavitt, Elaine Chao, Stephen L Johnson, Margaret Spellings, Samuel W Bodman, Norman Y Mineta, Hillary Rodham Clinton, James Hoffa, [www.GOOGLE.com](http://www.GOOGLE.com), Benedict, XVI, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, Jerry West, [www.ACCUWEATHER.com](http://www.ACCUWEATHER.com), Usama Bin Laden, William Gates, Hugo Chavez, John Deere, Adolf Hitler’s National Socialist Party, Island Def Jam Music Group, Roc-A Fella Records, Shawn Carter, Queen of England, Jo Anne B Barnhart, Steven Spielberg, RJ Reynolds Tobacco Holdings Inc, Japan’s Nikkei Stock Exchange, Gambino, Three Mile Island, Kofi Annaan, Tony Danza, Islamic Republic of Iran, Don King Productions Inc, Paris Hilton, Kingdom Hall of the Jehovah’s Witness, Jose Padilla, University of Miami, Geico Insurance, Vienna Convention, Matt Drudge, Marion Blakey, Consulate General of Nigeria, The Salvation Army, Jewish State of “Israel”, John E Potter, Soledad O’Brien, Miles O’Brien, Magna Carta, Tsunami victims, Alan Greenspan, American Red Cross, Mark Emerson, Jessica Alba, Sirius Satellite Radio, Charles Moose, Dalai Lama, Houston Chronicle, Al Qaeda Islamic Army, Fruit of A-Loom, American Civil Liberties Union, Out-Back Steakhouse, Donald J Trump, Chris Berman, Vatican, The, Shawn John Combs, Michael Brown, Vincent K McMahon, Taliban, The, Richard M Daley, Meals on Wheels, John Grisham, Columbine High School, Ariel Sharon, United Parcel Service, Tara Reid, Black Entertainment Television Inc, Saddam Hussein, Jewish Workers, Brad Pitt, Jack Welch, Elizabeth Smart, George E Pataki, Charlie Sheen, Surgeon General, The, Vladimir Putin, Oliver North, George Orwell, [www.ASKJEEVES.com](http://www.ASKJEEVES.com), Sean O’Keefe, Various Buddhist Monks, [www.SECUREDPARTY.com](http://www.SECUREDPARTY.com), I Lewis Libby, Warren Buffett, Sierra Club, John D Negroponte, Christina Applegate, Jewish Mossad, National Vanguard Books, Air and Space Museum, Christopher Reeves, Gale A Norton, Halliburton Company, Kellogg Brown & Root, John Walsh, Mein Kampf, City of Crawford Texas, John P Abizaid, Venus Williams, [www.DEFCON.org](http://www.DEFCON.org), John Dudas, Medieval Times, International Trade Commission, Anna Nichole Smith, United States Marine Corps, William F Buckley, Denny’s, Brotherhood of the Snake, Larry King, Charles E Schumer, Rastafarian Natives, Spencer Abraham, Rollingstone Magazine, Monogram Bank of Georgia, Grace Jones, National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing, Ramzi Ahmed Yousef, Planet Hollywood, Joseph H Boardman, Marshall Bruce Mathers, III, Uliminati,Founder Adam Weishaupt, The Apollo Theater, David W Anderson, Assistant Secretary For Indian Affairs, Jason Society, Wu Tang Clan, Wu-Wear Inc, Philip Purcell, CEO Morgan Stanley Dean Witter, Nordic Gods, Presidental Emergency Operation Center, Screen Actors Guild Inc, R James Nicholson, New York Stock Exchange Inc, The Da Vinci Code, Moorish Science Temple of America, Sears Tower, Mike Tyson, Native American Fish Society, Holocaust Survivors, Byzantine Republic Army, Dennis Hopper, Mt. Rushmore, Barbara Walters, First Presbyterian Church, Gordan R Sullivan, Yellow Cab Company, Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of North America, Michael Savage, Dennis Hastert, Green Bay’s Lambeau Field, Slobodan Milosevic, Pizza Hut, King James Bible, Scott Peterson, Department of Housing and Urban Affiars, Smithsonian Institute, Robert C Bonner, Ming Dynasty, Ray Nagin, Barry Bonds, Thomas J Ridge, Jenna Bush, Gangs in Hong Kong, United Methodist Church, European Union, Porter Goss, Harrah’s Las Vegas Inc, Grand Wizard of Ku Klux Klan, General Motors, Christopher Cox, Proctor & Gamble, Jewish Synagogue’s, [www.ebay.com](http://www.ebay.com), Knights of Malta, AFL-CIO Union, Booker T Washington, Natioal Hockely League “NHL” Players Association, Diane Sawyer, Immigration and Naturalization Service, Verne Minnie Me, Steve Jobbs, Statue of Liberty, Fidel Castro, Brian L Roberts, Comcast Cable Co., Earth Liberation Front, Phil Donahue, Malcom X, Kim Jong II, Geneva Convention, Lee Scott, Arizona Game and Fish Commission, Nelson Rockefeller, National Assocaition of Realtors, Fort Knox, Philadephia Eagles, 2005 Roster, Church of Scientology, World Trade Organizaton, Burt Reynolds, Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers, Michael A Aquino, Bill O’Reilly, Puerto Rican Nationalist Party, Western Uhion Financial Services, Paula Abdul, United States Holocaust Museum, Sister Souljah, Suha Arafat, Jessie Jackson, Hamid Karzai, Carnival Cruise Lines, The World Court Hague, Ben N Jerry’s Icecream, Janet Reno, House of Rothschild, David Stern, International Monetary Fund, Jimmy Dean Sausage Co, Yale Skull and Bones, Sumner Redstone, Computer Hackers and Telephone Phreakers, Mayflower Moving Corp, Chemical/Bio Sensor Research Center, Aberdeen Maryland, Whoopi Goldberg, Vincente Fox, Pennsylvania Lottery Commission, [www.Amazon.com](http://www.Amazon.com), Michael Chertoff, City of Nadi, The New York Times, American Express Credit Card Corp, The Olsen Twins, Rainbow/Push Coalition, Mohammed Atta, Leavenworth Federal Prison, Max Mayfield, Michael Tigar, Roman Empire, Merriam Websters Dictionary 10th Edition, Palestine Liberation Organization, Michael Aramcost, Kraft Foods Inc, John Fund, Unknown Writes of Norther American Free Trade Agreement, Demi Moore, Smith N Wesson, United Negro College Fund, Edward M Liddy, Wolf Blitzer, [www.2600.com](http://www.2600.com), Metroplitan Transit Authority, Richard Jewel, Bloods and Crips of Detroit, Michael J Fox, Richard S Fuld, Verrizon Communications, Angela Merkel, The Rose Bowl, Ben Yahweh, People Against Treatment of Animals, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Citigroup Inc, National Academy of Science’s Institute of Medicine, Indra K Nooyi, Virgina Kings Dominion, Vanna White, Robert W Kagan, Sugar Ray Leonard, Ross Perot, Harley-Davidson Inc., International Islamic Relief Organization, Harley G Lappin, Pink Triangle Coalition, POW-MIA, Cathedral Church of the Intercessor, Bellvue State Hospital Center, [www.FRAUDEFEDERALRESERVE.com](http://www.FRAUDEFEDERALRESERVE.com), Sammy Sosa, Robert M Gates, Architecture of Fee Masonry, Bobby Accord, The Pillsbury Company, Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, Rosie O’Donnell, George P Shultz, Mozart, Sundance Film Festival, U.S. Capitol Police, AARP, The Appalachian Trail, Notre Dame, John Kasich, Joey Buttafuoco, National Wildlife Refuge, Nostradamus, Richard Thornburgh, Leann Rimes, Evangelical Lutheran Chuch, James Billington, Marco Polo, Teresa Heintz Kerry, Negro Justice League, The Eiffel Tower, Newt Gingrich, USA Today, G8 Summit, Zacarias Moussaoui, Ringling Bros and Barnum & Bailey Circus, Kentucky Militia, Lloyd M Bentsen, John Wayne Bobbit, Plymouth Rock, WKRP in Cincinatti, Royal Institute for International Affairs, Arayan Brotherhood, James G Roche, Yao Ming, Hartsfield Atlanta International Airport, [www.antisocial.com](http://www.antisocial.com), Charles Dickens, Arlen Spector, Leaning Tower of Pisa, National Oceanic Atmosphere Administration, Iraqi Baath Regime, Kevin Bacon, United States Olympic Committee, Humane Society, Guerilla’s in the Mist, Donna E Shalala, Fabio, Holy Land Foundation, Encyclopedia Britanica, Bono, Centers for Disease Control, Home Depot, National Rifle Association, Geraldo Rivera, Amtrak, Niccolo Machiavelli, American Psychiatric Association, Garden of Eden, Ben Roethlisberger, Unification Church, Anglo-Saxons Alliance, United States Secret Service, Dosotevsky, The International Space Station, Russell Crowe, Assassins of Serbia Prime Minister Zoran Zjindjic, Mall of America, Edward S Robinson, Commanding Officer USS Grayback, Home Shopping Network, John Dupont, Ace Hardware Stores, Henry A Kissinger, Paul Revere, Indianapolis Motor Speedway Corporation, Duncan Donuts, Rand Corporation, Michealangelo, Olympia J Snowe, Aztec Pyramids, Boy Scouts of America, William Pierce, Six Flags of Arlington Texas, Talmud, Beth Holloway Twitty, International Atomic Energy Agency, Jessica Simpson, Donald E Graham, Viagara, Anne Richards, Marion “Suge” Knight, Ripley’s Believe It Or Not, Randy Johnson, Anheiser Busch, Peter Jennigs’ Widow, Paul Wolfowitz, Montana Freeman, Pennsylvania Turnpike, Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Julia Roberts, Public Broadcast System, Jeb Bush, John Birch Society, Sprint/Nextel, Bob Vila, Hoover Dam, Sandy Berger, Toll Brothers, [www.GINOROMANO.com](http://www.GINOROMANO.com), William Jefferson Clinton, Killington Vermont Ski Resort, [www.YAHOO.com](http://www.YAHOO.com), Joe Gibbs Racing, Jennifer Lopez, National Public Radio, Tonya Harding, Comptroller of Currency, ADT Security, Harrison Ford, Mike Johanns, Delta Airlines, Pete Rose, Sumbionese Liberation Army, Small Business Administration, Joseph Lieberman, Sylvester Stallone, Kyoto Protocol, Bolivian Mafia, The, Vietnam Veterans of America, Kenneth Starr, Simon and Schuster, Patricia Hearst, Nelson Mandela, Chandra Levy, U.S. Department of Agriculture, Symbionese Liberation Army, The Bolivian Mafia, Anti Defamation League, Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints, Rush Limbaugh, Airforce One, Louis Farrakhan, National Medal of Arts, Webster Hubbell, McDougals, The Waffle House, Gray Davis, Black Panther Party, Grand Canyon-Parashant National Monument, Lucy Liu, Bob Barker, Federalist Society, Elian Gonzalez, International Criminal Court, Danny Glover, National Archives, Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort, Jonathan J Pollard, Red Guerilla Resistance, New Jersey Port Authority, Chirs Matthews, Kweisi Mfume, Wendy’s, M.C. Hammer, Rudolph Giulani, Islamic Muslim Brotherhood, Drew Barrymore, All National Abortion Clinic, Newsweek Magazine, Madeleine Albright, Lee R Raymond, Louis XV, Holy Grail, Merck Pharmaceuticals, Elson John, Planet of Pluto, Trent Lott, Ho Chi Minh City, Muammar Gaddafi, Frank Sinatra, Jr, Joseph Biden, Lil Kim, I-95 “Interstate” Developers, Make A Wish Foundation, Virgin Mary, The, US Department of Internal Affairs, Richard Reid, Jerry Lewis Telethon, Golden Gate Bridge, Monica Lewinsky, John Ashcroft, Dennis Rodman, Center for Medicare/Medicaid Services, J K Rowling, Jackie Chan, Noelle Bush, Cleo, David Coulter, Chechen Rebels, Huggies, Colin Powell, Ninja Samurai Fighters, National Center for Mission & Exploited Children, Hamas, Tammany Hall, Trevor Smith, [www.EHARMONY.com](http://www.EHARMONY.com), Jean-Bertrand Aristide, Hubble Space Telescope, Joshua Bolten, Boston Globe, The, National Guard and Reserves, The, B’Nai B’Rith, Outlaws Motocycle Gang, John McCain, Equal Opportunity Employer, Michael Moore, Fort Bragg Military Base, John Walters, World Wide Web, Catholic Church, Ben Bernanke, Anti-Communist Memorbilla Collection, Academy Awards, FBI, Francis J Harvey, Baptist Church, [www.MEDIACONTROL.com](http://www.MEDIACONTROL.com), Oprah Winfrey, Area 69, Scott McClellan, David Duke, Engine #9, Franklin Mint, D B Cooper, Lester Crawford, Napoleon, Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries, Wiccan Worship, British SAS, Guantanamo Bay, Darryl F. Zanck Institute for Media Domination and Talmudic Studies, The, Pirates Cove Miniture Golf Course, Hannibal Lector, Council of Foreign Relations, Ronald McDonald Charities, Foday Sankoh, Ben Gurion Airport, Sandra Bullock, Statue of Felix Dzerzhinsky, Katie Curic, Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, Motley Rice, Rania, Phi Beta Kappa, Irish Republican Army, Che Guevara, Aljazeera Television and Bumble Bee Tuna The suit was dismissed by the judge on August 17, 2007. At the bottom of the list of court documents (dated Jan 24, 2008) the following note appears (emphasis mine): > [@](#): > > MINUTE entry before Judge Harry D. Leinenweber : It has come to the Court’s attention that the docketing department of the Clerk’s Office is still inputing the names of the hundreds of defendants named in this action. This action was dismissed on 8/17/07 for failure to state a claim, and the Court of Appeals dismissed the appeal on 10/31/07 for failure to pay the required docketing fee. It is a waste of judicial resources for the Clerk’s Office to continue adding these names to a closed case that the Court determined was delusional in its order of 8/17/07. The Clerk is therefore directed to cease adding the defendants’ names to this docket. As this is an internal housekeeping matter, the Clerk is directed not to send notice of this order to Plaintiff. No notice to be mailed (gcy, ) Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/2 "2008-04-01T20:05:55Z")
> [@](#): > > …Ninja Samurai Fighters… At least he only wants the Ninja Samurai Fighters. If he wanted all the Ninjas _and_ all the Samurai, well that would just be unreasonable. ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/3 "2008-04-01T20:09:07Z")
:smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: I forgot to emphasize the part I was emphasizing. **the docketing department of the Clerk’s Office is still inputing the names of the hundreds of defendants named in this action.** While I was at it, I’m looking at some of this guy’s [other lawsuits](http://news.justia.com/cases/jonathan-lee-riches/). He’s a real winner. Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/4 "2008-04-01T20:09:41Z")
Please to be explaining how anyone could build a case against the Eiffel Tower? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/5 "2008-04-01T20:12:17Z")
Why did he file that particular law suit? (Against Russel Crowe, Viagra, Native American Fish Society, and a few others) Edit: … Just _why?_ ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/6 "2008-04-01T20:13:37Z")
You know, I can sympathize. Sometimes I feel like suing “The” myself. That sodding bastard of a definite article makes my life a living hell! ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/7 "2008-04-01T20:14:20Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] Please to be explaining how anyone could build a case against the Eiffel Tower? [/QUOTE] From a design standpoint, I’d go for a brownstone look. ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/8 "2008-04-01T20:14:59Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] Please to be explaining how anyone could build a case against the Eiffel Tower? [/QUOTE] With an erector set? ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/9 "2008-04-01T20:35:18Z")
> [@the minute notes](#): > > This action was dismissed on 8/17/07 for failure to state a claim I was just about to ask what this nutter’s claim was. Sounds like he ripped a page out of some phonebook and pasted it onto some pleading paper without bothering to say what his beef was. Reminds me of another vexatious litigant I came into contact with. This cat somehow found my name and added me to a laundry list of people with the barest of connections to the apartment building he lives in. IIRC, the claim was along the lines of “Personal Injure, ELDER abuse and NEGLET” with all of the random capitalizations and mis-spellings we’ve come to expect from loony people that manage to find access to a typewriter. After a brief conversation with the building’s attorney, I submitted an answer saying that my only association with the building was to install a telephone system in their business office, and at no time did I have any interactions with tenants. (Vexatious or not, nobody wants a default judgment!) At the pre-trial conference, they didn’t get very far. Mr. Vex apparently said little more than “They no good! They steal food and hurt me!” then he left the courtroom. Moments later, he was seen walking to his car and driving off. “Let the record show that the plaintiff has left the courtroom and has driven away. Plaintiff’s claim is dismissed.” ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/10 "2008-04-01T20:43:43Z")
You can create all sorts “what do they have in common?” trivia questions with that list: What do Jessica Alba, Saddam Hussein and Ben Roethlisberger have in common? Another one: What do Joey Buttafuoco, Oprah Winfrey and Elian Gonzales have in common? ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/11 "2008-04-01T21:25:21Z")
That’s it, my head just exploded. Planet of Pluto… well at least that’s safe. American Psychiatric Association… yeah no shit, they’ve clearly failed him big time. **gotpasswords** … that’d be some phonebook! Though I’ve been meaning to give both Adolf Hitler _and_ the Bolivian Mafia a call so it would come in useful. ETA: you know I just noticed there’s a whole segment of nouns he forgot about. He included several organisations of humans, but he didn’t include more abstract nouns. Where’s his suit against magnanimity? Against ‘The American Way’? Against the feeling you get as you realise you’ve locked yourself out of your flat and the cleaning lady’s attending her gran’s funeral up in Norwich? ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/12 "2008-04-01T22:35:48Z")
Wow. that’s quite a list. I like the idea of the “what do they have in common” game e.g. George Orwell, Hubble Space Telescope, Monica Lewinsky OR J.K. Rowling, The Taliban, Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream 😕 :eek: 😕 My brain hurts! And I clicked on the link to this weirdo’s other cases, and I see that he wants to take legal action against Brad Pitt and Angela Jolie (plus various Pitt/Jolie offspring) because, apparently, they kidnapped Madeleine McCann. In “a major conspiracy plot”, no less. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/13 "2008-04-01T22:37:13Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] Please to be explaining how anyone could build a case against the Eiffel Tower? [/QUOTE] With iron girders? He sounds mentally ill to me. Although I like the mix of Ninja Samurai, Tonya Harding and Louis XV. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/14 "2008-04-01T22:42:01Z")
Bono is named, but the rest of U2 gets off scot free? What the hell, man? ---
**Author:** ![bubble\_pop\_electric](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecae2f/32.png) [@bubble\_pop\_electric](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubble_pop_electric)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/15 "2008-04-01T22:44:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Plaintiff Jonathan Lee Riches alleges that defendant Curtis Jackson a/k/a 50 cent will be releasing a new album entitled “Curtis,” which contains numerous Jonathan Lee Riches copyrighted lyrics and material. Plaintiff alleges that a lot of the lyrics deal with cybercrime, and that defendant stole the following copyrighted material from him. > [@](#): > > Plaintiff alleges that the Jewish Mossad, Central Intelligence Agency and Larry King Live are engaged in a vast conspiracy to hijack plaintiff’s torso, 3 toes and his constitutional rights and ship them to a secret headquarters in Concord, New Hampshire. Plaintiff further alleges that the Jewish Mossad told him personally that they were going to hang him to a cross next to Jesus Christ, that Larry King Live is a voodoo witch doctor who stole his identity and purchased lead paint, Chips Ahoy, Planters peanuts and Ziplock bags under his identity, and that the CIA conspired with the Uniform Commercial Code to steal his strawman identity. > [@](#): > > Plaintiff sued the Jena 6 for “Loss of My White Rights” and sought $100 million in white gold and the White House. Plaintiff alleged that defendants hung a white noose in his cell at FCI Willaimsburg, told the FCI Williamsburg dentists not to fix his white fillings, fed him tainted White Castle hamburgers, turn his cell mate into Snow White, called him the white Suge Knight, burnt him with Great Whites pyrotechnics, made him suffer whiteouts, gave him white phosphorus, subjected him to low white blood cell counts, and that Vanna White won’t write. Defendants also allegedly turned plaintiff into a white collar criminal and sent Whitehouse prosecutors after his white skin. Oh my God, this site will entertain me for _days._ ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/16 "2008-04-01T22:53:59Z")
Are Ninja Samurai Fighters ninja who fight samurai, or samurai who are also ninjas who fight in general? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/17 "2008-04-01T23:13:54Z")
If this guy lived in New York, he’d be running for Mayor. That’d be much more productive. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/18 "2008-04-01T23:28:47Z")
> [@](#): > > Plaintiff sued the Jena 6 for “Loss of My White Rights” and sought $100 million in white gold and the White House. Plaintiff alleged that defendants hung a white… He forgot to sue White-Westinghouse for subjecting him to Barry White’s singing. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/19 "2008-04-02T00:24:42Z")
[QUOTE=pravnik] Bono is named, but the rest of U2 gets off scot free? What the hell, man? [/QUOTE] No one messes with The Edge, man. 🆒 No one. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573/20 "2008-04-02T00:44:40Z")
I love that he’s suing the “tsunami victims”, apparently all of them. Plus Che Guevara AND “Huggies”. Is this guy available as a Flash game? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-gotta-laugh-and-cry/443573.md?page=2)