# You've just been bitten by a zombie, what do you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 26, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447 "2012-07-26T14:10:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/1 "2012-07-26T14:10:06Z")
You’ve just been bitten and abandoned by a zombie. You’ll develop flu-like symptoms, then you’ll pass out in a few weeks at most and then re-animate a few hours later. If you kill yourself, you’ll still reanimate, unless you destroy your brain. What do you do? What would you really do if you were really facing that situation? What would you do if it was a loved one bitten instead of you? ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/2 "2012-07-26T14:13:07Z")
Depends where I’ve been bitten. If it’s an extremity I might take the chance of a fast amputation and cauterization. It’s a wound on my torso I suppose I’d have to do the right thing as soon as I being to be symptomatic. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/3 "2012-07-26T14:25:49Z")
If I can’t chance an amputation, shotgun in the mouth suicide. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/4 "2012-07-26T14:32:47Z")
Make a list of folks to bite. ---
**Author:** ![PacifistPorcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PacifistPorcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PacifistPorcupine)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/5 "2012-07-26T14:36:26Z")
Buy full body armor and Kevlar helmet. If I turning zombie I want to be a prick about it. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/6 "2012-07-26T14:51:37Z")
Schedule a meeting with Tom from the office down the hall? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/7 "2012-07-26T14:59:05Z")
I make my head go kablooie. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/8 "2012-07-26T15:01:23Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Make a list of folks to bite. username/post combo for the win!! I’d start looking for a gun. It’d probably take me that long to find one, as I’m sure everybody else will have stocked up thoroughly by then. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/9 "2012-07-26T15:12:14Z")
> [@42fish](#): > > Schedule a meeting with Tom from the office down the hall? Good to see you buddy, how’ve you been? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/10 "2012-07-26T15:20:45Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Good to see you buddy, how’ve you been? Things have been all right for me, except that I’m a zombie now - I really wish you’d let us in. Back to the OP - I’d eat a shotgun, of course, but I’d make damned sure to tell my family and loved ones about this first, just in case I botched it and started wandering after I turned. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/11 "2012-07-26T15:32:10Z")
My whole life has always been a simple matter of “go with the flow,” so I’m going to see what happens. People only think zombies (and becoming one) are bad because we can only see it from our side. Who knows? Maybe being a zombie is freakin’ awesome. Why not find out? I mean, worst case scenario, my conscious self dies and my corpse goes walkin’ around eating people, at which point, what the hell do I care? Same difference as being in the ground as far as my dead, rotting ass is concerned. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/12 "2012-07-26T15:52:02Z")
Buy a one-way ticket to France. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/13 "2012-07-26T16:05:10Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > I mean, worst case scenario, my conscious self dies and my corpse goes walkin’ around eating people, at which point, what the hell do I care? Same difference as being in the ground as far as my dead, rotting ass is concerned. That’s rather hard on the people with the misfortune to cross your corpse’s path, though. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/14 "2012-07-26T16:20:28Z")
I’d be quite all right. I’d run it under a cold tap. I had my jabs- it’s a lot of overblown nonsense. * * * ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/15 "2012-07-26T16:37:47Z")
braAAAaains… ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/16 "2012-07-26T16:46:32Z")
> [@PacifistPorcupine](#): > > Buy full body armor and Kevlar helmet. If I turning zombie I want to be a prick about it. I like this answer best . 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/17 "2012-07-26T17:11:27Z")
I’d get a big white T-shirt and a can of dayglow orange spray paint. I’d paint a very stylish “Z” on the shirt. Then I’d shave my head and paint my arms and head. I’d get completely naked but for the T-shirt and start drinking lots of daiquiris in a downtown bar. It won’t help, but if you see me you’ll say, “Hey look! That must be Inigo from the SDMB! Let’s not have drinks with him today.” ---
**Author:** ![Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrogance_ex_machina/32/192_2.png) [@Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrogance_Ex_Machina)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/18 "2012-07-26T17:23:29Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > I’d get a big white T-shirt and a can of dayglow orange spray paint. I’d paint a very stylish “Z” on the shirt. Then I’d shave my head and paint my arms and head. I’d get completely naked but for the T-shirt and start drinking lots of daiquiris in a downtown bar. This made me think … any bets on how long from the start of a zombie apocalypse to somebody starting to print t-shirts that say, in very small print: “If you can read this, I’m just about to eat your brains.”? ---
**Author:** ![Bass\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/43a26b/32.png) [@Bass\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bass_Chick)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/19 "2012-07-26T17:27:15Z")
If I knew for _sure_ I had a few weeks… I’d go on a round-the-world shopping spree and max out every single one of my credit cards. 😃 I would buy presents for everybody I care about and ship them with “I love you” letters and pictures showing how much fun I was having partying like a rock star. Once the flu-like symptoms started, I’d get a suite in the fanciest high-rise hotel in the city and have room service bring me a big ol’ glass of Grand Marnier on the rocks with lemon. After a nice relaxing bubble bath with candles and Billie Holiday, I’d swallow some sleeping pills and “accidentally” fall out of the window, bashing the zombie brain to bits. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/20 "2012-07-26T17:41:06Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > i’d be quite all right. I’d run it under a cold tap. > > I had my jabs- it’s a lot of overblown nonsense. > > * * * _Fuck a doodle doo!_ \<3 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447.md?page=2)