# You've just been bitten by a zombie, what do you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 26, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447 "2012-07-26T14:10:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/21 "2012-07-26T19:20:47Z")
Oddly? Turn on the microphone and start recording / broadcasting. In most zombie fiction, part of the fear factor is that the survivors are always questioning what caused things, or if the zombie is still ‘human’, or a million other bits of minutia about the condition. I’m a researcher at heart. I’ll give them every damn scrap of information I can about the process, first hand. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/22 "2012-07-26T20:18:28Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Buy a one-way ticket to France. I just got back from France, and I approve of this idea. We stayed in a gîte in Bordeaux which was solidly constructed and had both exterior wooded doors and wooden shutters, as well as a gated fence. **Attacklad** and I saw the place and immediately commented on its excellence as a place to hole up during a zombie outbreak. \* \*Yes, this is what we talk about when traveling the world. Occasionally there is also some culture. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/23 "2012-07-26T20:28:08Z")
Pfft. Movie zombies are a conflation of Haitian _zonbi_ and historical sufferers from encephalitis lethargica, a brain virus whose sufferers were mislabeled as schizophrenics. (And in fact “schizophrenia” originally referred to sufferers of encephalitis lethargica. [_Mad in America_, Robert Whitaker, Perseus Publishing, 2002]) I’d wash out the wound and go on with my life. I’d try to get some kind of anti-viral treatment. I’d notify my family and friends so they’d be prepared if I went mad. If unable to gain access to treatment,\* then\* I might kill myself. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/24 "2012-07-26T21:56:19Z")
I’ve encountered only your run-of-the-mill zombies; crush their heads and they go down and stay down. But what if a zombie is decapitated? The brain isn’t destroyed by decapitation so would both parts continue to exist? A headless zombie is a fearsome thing to contemplate. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/25 "2012-07-26T22:41:56Z")
Outlierrn blowed up real good! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/26 "2012-07-26T23:59:56Z")
I’d set up a wireless internet suit of some kind and attach a webcam to my head. I’d be the first ever Zombie-Cam™ and possibly make millions in advertising dollars for my family. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/27 "2012-07-27T00:06:17Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > Pfft. Movie zombies are a conflation of Haitian _zonbi_ and historical sufferers from encephalitis lethargica, a brain virus whose sufferers were mislabeled as schizophrenics. (And in fact “schizophrenia” originally referred to sufferers of encephalitis lethargica. [_Mad in America_, Robert Whitaker, Perseus Publishing, 2002]) [You win](http://xkcd.com/1012/) ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/28 "2012-07-27T00:25:39Z")
I was thinking more like these: [Science might work where others despair,](http://xkcd.com/836/) so [even if it fails better to give it a shot.](http://xkcd.com/931/) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/29 "2012-07-27T00:28:57Z")
Behead myself in as flamboyant way as possible. ---
**Author:** ![kjbrasda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/74df32/32.png) [@kjbrasda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kjbrasda)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/30 "2012-07-27T03:55:28Z")
I know where there is a chipper/shredder just down the road that is very accessible. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/31 "2012-07-27T06:11:22Z")
> [@kjbrasda](#): > > I know where there is a chipper/shredder just down the road that is very accessible. You don’t think there’s a better way of terminating yourself than diving head first into a shredding machine? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/32 "2012-07-27T09:37:10Z")
If the idea of zombies is accepted in society, I’d ask my Doctor to try broad-spectrum antivirals. Perhaps a version of the Milwaukee Protocol, used in saving Rabies victims, would help. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/33 "2012-07-27T09:48:52Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I’ve encountered only your run-of-the-mill zombies; crush their heads and they go down and stay down. But what if a zombie is decapitated? The brain isn’t destroyed by decapitation so would both parts continue to exist? A headless zombie is a fearsome thing to contemplate. Wouldn’t the beheaded part die and the bodyless head go on trying to munch on anything which got close by? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/34 "2012-07-27T10:54:57Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Wouldn’t the beheaded part die and the bodyless head go on trying to munch on anything which got close by? Nom nom nom nom nom Hey you, c’mere, I’ve got a secret. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/35 "2012-07-27T11:21:37Z")
_grabs mallet, starts using **Attack** ’s head to play zombie polo_ ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/36 "2012-07-27T11:51:51Z")
I would become active in the movement to make zombies a protected class. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/37 "2012-07-27T12:47:51Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Wouldn’t the beheaded part die and the bodyless head go on trying to munch on anything which got close by? What are they going to do? Nuzzle you to death with their stump? ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/38 "2012-07-27T13:02:59Z")
If it happens to my wife and not me, I very graciously allow her to go back and stay with her mother for a while. ---
**Author:** ![randomface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@randomface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randomface)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/39 "2012-07-27T13:32:35Z")
Buy a plane ticket to Madagascar. If the rest of the world is going, I want them to go with us. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447/40 "2012-07-27T13:48:11Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > _grabs mallet, starts using **Attack** ’s head to play zombie polo_ Would this be on zombie horses? Actually, all the zombies I’ve ever heard about were human. I don’t want to thread highjack, so it’s off to Cafe Society to ask if there are any zombie animal stories. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-been-bitten-by-a-zombie-what-do-you-do/629447.md?page=3)