# You've just purchased the Hawaiian Island of Lanai **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 23, 2012, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430 "2012-08-23T23:25:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/21 "2012-08-24T18:42:37Z")
Underground lair. Yes, it sounds odd, but that is the first thing I thought of when I saw the proposition. Lanai is a volcanic island. There must be caves. Caverns deep and mysterious from whence I can plot my plots and think my thoughts… of world domination. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/22 "2012-08-24T20:08:46Z")
An X-men type academy for brilliant children and their families. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/23 "2012-08-24T23:10:59Z")
Build a pati’o on Lana’i. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/24 "2012-08-24T23:15:00Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > An X-men type academy for brilliant children and their families. OK. I can see that. You may rent one of my caverns at a discount rate. Have your people call my people to work out the details. Will that be “Doctor TruCelt’s School for Exemplars”? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/25 "2012-08-25T00:23:41Z")
I would start an Esperanto-speaking mini state. This time, it would work. It would have beaches and tropical goodness and a thriving tourist industry. True, the fine print would say, “Lana’i County, Hawaii, USA, d/b/a the Republic of Esperantia”, but that’s only until we [del]get the solar weapons working[/del] negotiate a peaceful secession. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/26 "2012-08-25T05:27:52Z")
Is there a volcano where I can build my base? ---
**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2012, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/27 "2012-08-26T15:08:24Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > [Co-founder of Oracle CEO Larry Ellison](http://www.theverge.com/2012/6/20/3104949/oracle-ceo-larry-ellison-buys-small-hawaiian-island-reportedly-for) paid $500 million and change for the island of Lanai. Love at First Bite Only in America.[/Love at First Bite] ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/28 "2012-08-27T15:17:45Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I would start an Esperanto-speaking mini state. Oh, _I’m_ in. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/29 "2012-08-27T16:05:41Z")
> [@Olentzero](#): > > Oh, _I’m_ in. Do you know how to build a solar weapon? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/30 "2012-08-27T16:43:38Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Find the best ocean view, put up hammock. Yeppers. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/31 "2012-08-27T17:08:23Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > What is his plan you ask? No one knows, he’s not saying. According to Wikipedia (so it has to be true), Four Seasons Resorts owns two resort hotels there, and Four Seasons is 47.5% owned by Bill Gates. So maybe he just wants to be Bill Gates’s landlord. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/32 "2012-08-27T20:32:33Z")
Refurb and flip for profit. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/33 "2012-08-27T20:36:22Z")
> [@Olentzero](#): > > Oh, _I’m_ in. I think you meant: “Ho, mi in.” ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430/34 "2012-08-27T20:49:39Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > I’d make it a “forbidden island”, like Niihau, and set up comfortable housing for people of Hawaiian descent so that they had a place to live that wasn’t swamped with tourists. ^This! Or else plant Hawaii’s other profitable crop. And I don’t mean pineapples. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youve-just-purchased-the-hawaiian-island-of-lanai/632430.md?page=1)