# YUCK! yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 5, 2002, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149 "2002-09-05T16:43:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TigoleBitties](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cab0a1/32.png) [@TigoleBitties](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TigoleBitties)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/21 "2002-09-06T05:32:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\* > > Hell, salad is the only thing I _don’t_ put ranch on. Best is french fried with a side of ranch dip. \*\* I am assuming he means fries and yes I agree…Hell ranch goes with anything. Dip pizza in it, put it on cheerios. And for the record…you people who dont appreciate the suttle bite of a cuke from its ‘embalming fluid’ need to learn a thing or 3. The more bite its got, the better it is. Heck I will go one step further…Cajun spiced Burger with garlic pickles AND dill relish, hot mustard, applewood bacon, and spicy mayo. Oh and maybe a slice of cheese. Punishing the porcelian is small time. I practically serial kill it. ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/22 "2002-09-06T06:10:39Z")
I say pickles on a cheeseburger, but not relish; it’s a little bit messy, plus the pickle is there already. As for mayonaisse on a burger, well, thats just heavenly. Same with fries…Mayonaisse on fries simply kicks ass. Try it sometime. Maybe add some vinegar too. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/23 "2002-09-06T07:06:20Z")
I _soooo_ agree Goo. A good hamburger has beetroot, plus the usual onion, tomato, cheese, lettuce, bacon and egg. And a good squirt of tomato sauce (ketchup to you furriners) on top. It’s the only time I will use tomato sauce, but it sort of binds the lot together so it doesn’t all fall out. Well, sort of anyway!! Oh, and it’s gotta have some meat in it too!! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/24 "2002-09-06T07:11:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mullinator \* > \*\*Pickles and relish on a cheeseburger? That’s just inhumane to all things good and tasty. Whoever decided to unleash this blight upon all sane and innocent palates needs to be placed in front of a trough of rancid potted meat and forced to chew until their teeth are worn down. \*\* Ah, just wash it down with a cold Pepsi Blue and you’ll feel better. ---
**Author:** ![Another\_Primate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Another\_Primate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Another_Primate)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/25 "2002-09-06T07:23:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Muffin \* > \*\*Pickles? Relish? Yuckerooni. That stuff isn’t food. It’s embalming fluid with chunks. \*\* Thanks, Muffin! You’ve pinned down my reason for not liking pickles (and, therefore, relish). But if it’s a fast-food burger, I leave one pickle in, just so I can have one bite of “yechh”, and then the rest of the bites taste so much yummier. If I bite a portion of the pickle, I pull the rest of it out before continuing. ---
**Author:** ![Another\_Primate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Another\_Primate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Another_Primate)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/26 "2002-09-06T07:30:02Z")
What is beetroot? ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/27 "2002-09-06T07:38:03Z")
Oh, you’re so lucky the hamsters are hopping tonight, 'cause I’m drunk and I’m going to tell you the most revolting tale. I once had this girlfriend. She was a freak, which suited my personality–at the time. I was living with her and a couple of other dudes, my friends–at the time. Did I mention that the girl was spawned from the very depths of Hell? That’s an important thing to remember. So one day, she’s cooking up this vegetarian burger and decides that she wants some of my own personal special sauce on it. We briefly retired–with the burger–to our quarters and after the proper preparations I gave that thing a generous helping of manchowder. She was all about it. Then, we took dinner out in the living room, whereupon one of my hopelessly stoned and drunk pals wandered upstairs. “Heeeey,” he asked, “what are you eating?” And quicker than shit through a goose Hell-spawn woman was on him: “A vegetarian burger, _would you like to try it?_” “Yeaaah.” (I cannot describe the mixture of mirth and horror, anger and disgust that I felt at the time–it was much, much more than that and still is.) Then, I swear I’m not lying about this, the poor sonofabitch said, “mmm, that’s pretty good [gesturing at me] have you tried it?” Now, at this point I could lie and say I had some sort of one-liner to insert here, and believe me, I’ve tried them all out on for size as my mind has done somersaults over this fucked up situation. I had no answer at the time, and the incident was probably forgotten by my housemate before he asked. Oh, jumpin’ Jehosephat, do I ever regret running with that girl. Shit, am I really gonna tell this one? Submit… close… submit… close… preview… ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/28 "2002-09-06T09:40:11Z")
I just wanna know, when did Quarter Pounder **with cheese** become the default? It started out as the Quarter Fucking Pounder, cheese optional! You had to **ask** for cheese. But somewhere along the line, the “with cheese” became implicit. If all you say is “Quarter Pounder”, they give you one with cheese, even though you said nothing about fucking cheese. I mean, it says right up there on the fucking tote board, “Quarter Pounder. Quarter Pounder with cheese.” **Two separate items**. You have to tell them, “Quarter Pound haaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmburger”, and you still have 50/50 odds of getting cheese. Thank god for the Big & Tasty. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/29 "2002-09-06T10:03:40Z")
During my very brief stint in a “Tasty Freeze” drive-in, a burger with mayonaisse was called a “sissy burger.” I don’t know what all the fuss is about except that a lot of people are dangerously confused. So, listen carefully: A cheeseburger consists of a generously sized, medium done ground sirloin meat pattie, generously peppered and topped with Swiss cheese, placed on half of a toasted bun that has been pre-treated with a light spread of butter and a generous glob of spicy mustard. The pattie is to be placed on the half-bun with the cheese topping up. Slices of onion and tomato are then placed atop the cheese and the second half of the aforementioned bun is placed atop the toppings. That is how my mother did it and she was perfect so that should settle the issue. You will note that mayonaisse, ketchup (tomato sauce?), Ranch Style (or any other) salad dressing, eggs, bacon, and other abominations are conspicuous by their absence. ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/30 "2002-09-06T10:26:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Another Primate \* > \*\*What is beetroot? \*\* [Beetroot.](http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=beetroot+photo&sa=N&tab=wi) You have a lightly toasted bun, with a slice of cheese, a meat patty, some lettuce, barbecued onion, two slices of tomato, a slice of beetroot and tomato or BBQ sauce. Bacon and a fried egg can be added, but is not the standard ‘Aussie burger’. ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/31 "2002-09-06T10:40:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LouisB \* > \*\*During my very brief stint in a “Tasty Freeze” drive-in, a burger with mayonaisse was called a “sissy burger.” \*\* If a burger with mayonaisse is a “sissy” burger, then dress me in drag and call me Josephine!😃 ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/32 "2002-09-06T12:33:52Z")
Mmm Burger. Been on a Turkey Burger kick lately- they are damn tasty. Either way (cow or bird): Bun (toasted) or Thomas Sandwhich Size English Muffin. Tomato. Onion. Fresh Claussen Sandwhich stavker Pickles. Light Mayo (one side). Grey Puppon (sp?) Deli Mustard on the Other. Ummmm. 😃 Ranch? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/33 "2002-09-06T12:47:08Z")
I love mayo on a burger, with a slice of onion. And, **AND** , I like mayo on fires. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/34 "2002-09-06T12:48:16Z")
Yeah, It’s puts 'em out real good. I meant fries, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/35 "2002-09-06T18:12:08Z")
Heathens! Mayo belongs on and only on club, BLT, egg-, chicken-, tuna-, or crab-salad sandwiches. Mayo on burgers? Blecch! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/36 "2002-09-06T23:13:29Z")
[arlo gutherie]Don’t want a pickle.[/arlo gutherie] ---
**Author:** ![Global\_Citizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Global\_Citizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Global_Citizen)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/37 "2002-09-06T23:15:29Z")
I just came back from the Lick’s drive thru up the road from me. On my Homeburger with Cheese I had: ketchup mustard relish onions tomato lettuce barbecue sauce. And I also ordered a small onion ring. /drooling sound Global Citizen ---
**Author:** ![Another\_Primate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Another\_Primate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Another_Primate)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2002, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/38 "2002-09-15T19:08:30Z")
Thanks, **Goo** , for the beetroot answer. I thought you might have meant beets, but then thought that was too strange to put on a hamburger. But I’m going to try it. Now, about building a burger: Bottom bun Burger Cheese Onion Tomato Salt and pepper Lettuce Mayo or catsup or mustard or relish or whatever Top bun So annoying if a restaurant builds it with veggies at the bottom and cheeseburger on top, with the bun stuck to the cheese. Grrrr. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2002, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/39 "2002-09-15T22:06:53Z")
Two all-beef patties. Special Sauce. Lettuce Cheese. Pickles. Onions. On a sesame seed bun bun bun… Seriously, I just like a bit of black angus ground chuck on the barbeque, some nice sharp costco white cheddar, some vidalia onions, a bit of ketchup, on a kaiser roll. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f1d935/32.png) [@Lady\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Ice)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2002, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149/40 "2002-09-15T23:28:11Z")
This one may be disturbing to some. Swiss Cheese Sauteed Mushrooms A1 Steak Sauce I’ve been eating this one at the bar lately. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck/127149.md?page=3)