# Yummy-Looking Foods That Taste Absolutely Awful **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 7, 2012, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023 "2012-09-07T18:47:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/61 "2012-09-10T03:52:43Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Why in the fuck are you tasting unwashed scrota?! šŸ˜• Is that like the plural form or something? _scrota_šŸ˜•_scroti?_ ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/62 "2012-09-10T03:55:14Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Why in the fuck are you tasting unwashed scrota?! Well, yā€™knowā€¦I run with hippies. If the scrota turn out to be unwashed, however, itā€™s a real short visit. šŸ˜ƒ (Yes, **Ambivalid** , one scrotum, two scrota.) ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/63 "2012-09-10T03:59:26Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Why in the fuck are you tasting unwashed scrota?! Sheā€™s a nurse. Iā€™m a nurse. We know things. On edit: what she said too, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/64 "2012-09-10T04:03:29Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > Sheā€™s a nurse. Iā€™m a nurse. We know things. Ha! Well, Iā€™ve never \*tasted \*a patientā€™s unwashed scrota, but Iā€™ve sure smelled 'em! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/65 "2012-09-10T04:24:26Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > For anyone who has ever lived in China, correct me if I am wrong, but based upon this one Chinese pastry shop: > > 1. Chinese donā€™t particularly like sugar. I highly doubt there was even a half teaspoon of sugar in all twelve pastries combined that I bought that day. > 2. Chinese have only one single recipe for a very dry, crumble at the touch, cookie that they simply mold into different forms to make them look like each one is something different. > 3. Despite the true artistry and beautiful colors and amazing shapes, these pastries tasted like clumps of dirt. > > So, yes - they would certainly be a beautiful addition to the decor of any dinner party, but they taste like crap. #1 is certainly true. Iā€™ll never forget bringing back a box of American cookies to Taiwan and sharing them with some teenage and pre-teenage boys (my wifeā€™s cousins) only to see them make a face and put them back: ā€œUgh! Too sweet!ā€ As for pastry fun, wait until you buy a delicious-looking stuffed pastry, certain that that brown substance must be chocolate, only to bite in and discover that itā€™s red bean paste. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/66 "2012-09-10T04:30:55Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > Oooh a new type of cheese. I love cheese! > > This looks all crumbly & delicious, what is it? > > _Goats cheese_ you say? > > Well, Iā€™ll just try a bit andā€¦ > > It actually tastes just like an old Billy-goat smells. ā˜¹ This reminds me: Around these parts (Norway), a very popular cheese is _[brunost](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brunost)_ (meaning literally ā€œbrown cheeseā€), which is a caramelized whey cheese. Itā€™s normally made from cowā€™s milk, but thereā€™s a variant made from goatā€™s milk as well. Norwegians are crazy about the stuff, and itā€™s commonly found on sandwiches in lunchboxes throughout the country. Which has always baffled me, because while it \*looks \*tasty enough, and sounds like a good idea on paper, once you actually try the stuff, it reveals itself as one of the most hideous substances ever to bear the name ā€œcheeseā€, and thatā€™s saying something. Firstly, it tastes like a sweaty monkeyā€™s scrotum with a thin coating of burnt toffee. Secondly, adding insult to injury, it actually clings to your palate like glue, so once youā€™ve made the mistake of actually inserting the stuff into your mouth, the taste and consistency (which is more evocative of refrigerated whale sperm than cheese) stays with you until sometime next week. All in all, the experience is less like eating cheese and more like extremely regrettable drunken oral sex turned up to eleven (which makes it rather ironic that kids often seem to love it). (Of course, now that Iā€™ve said that, a horde of enthusiastic brown cheese fanatics will instantly show up to tell me how utterly mistaken I am. They always do.) ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/67 "2012-09-10T04:35:30Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Firstly, it tastes like a sweaty monkeyā€™s scrotum with a thin coating of burnt toffee. Why in the fuck are you tasting burnt toffee?! šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![FordTaurusSHO94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f07891/32.png) [@FordTaurusSHO94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordTaurusSHO94)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/68 "2012-09-10T05:04:58Z")
Milk looks like melted vanilla ice cream. I try it every once in awhile to see if theyā€™ve made it worth drinking yet. Nope. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/69 "2012-09-10T05:09:44Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Ha! Well, Iā€™ve never \*tasted \*a patientā€™s unwashed scrota, but Iā€™ve sure smelled 'em! :eek: Um. Yeah. I forgot, no we donā€™t taste, but usually you can guess a taste from the smell. I have given people their first bath in 18 months. I forget if that was before or after we cut the sandwich out of his beard. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/70 "2012-09-10T05:13:55Z")
> [@FordTaurusSHO94](#): > > Milk looks like melted vanilla ice cream. I try it every once in awhile to see if theyā€™ve made it worth drinking yet. Nope. One thing that \*does \*taste like melted vanilla ice cream, though, is vanilla flavored soy milk. Problem is, that actually translates into sugary, sticky, sickly sweet, slightly synthetic tasting and only vaguely milky or vanilla-y. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/71 "2012-09-10T05:21:04Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Coffee is a strange and wonderful substance. On occasion, Iā€™ll drink it with cream and sugar or as latte or cappucino. But normally I prefer it hot and black, no sugar, so I can savor its rich and nutty flavor! šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/72 "2012-09-10T05:23:30Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Of course, now that Iā€™ve said that, a horde of enthusiastic brown cheese fanatics will instantly show up to tell me how utterly mistaken I am. They always do. _Brunost_ is cowā€™s cheese and _gamalost_ is goatā€™s cheese? šŸ˜• ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/73 "2012-09-10T05:39:00Z")
Brunost looks weird and tastes meh. Didnā€™t stop me from trying it each time I saw it. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/74 "2012-09-10T05:46:26Z")
I was quite surprised when I tried haggis and actually liked it. To me, it tastes like spicy liverwurst. (Of course, if you hate liverwurst, youā€™d hate haggis too.) Iā€™m not surprised the Chinese donā€™t like American cookies. They contain way too much sugar. When I bake, I never ever use white sugar (it makes me physically ill) and I cut back the amount of sugar called for in the recipe by 2/3. My cookies come out beautifully. One celebrity chef (I think it was Laura Calder) did Brussels sprouts on her show. She cut out the bitter core and steamed the leaves, then sauteed them with bacon. My appreciation of the vegetable rose by about 500%. Beets are quite good chopped or grated and incorporated into a salad, or in borshch. Otherwise, Iā€™ve always thought they taste like dirt. Two things I will probably never eat again are buckwheat pancakes and Czech potato dumplings. Not so much because of their flavors (which arenā€™t exactly the most subtle in the world) but because of their textures. They sit in your stomach all day like balls of lead. Carp, which the Czechs eat at Christmastime, also turned me off. Again, not so much from the flavor as from its being incredibly bony. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/75 "2012-09-10T05:55:08Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > _Brunost_ is cowā€™s cheese and _gamalost_ is goatā€™s cheese? šŸ˜• No, _[gamalost](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamalost)_ (ā€œold cheeseā€) is still cowā€™s milk. The goaty cheeses are \*geitost \*(meaning simply ā€œgoatā€™s cheeseā€), which is actually made with a mix of cowā€™s and goatā€™s milk, and _ekte geitost_ (ā€œreal goatā€™s cheeseā€), which is made with only goatā€™s milk. The latter two are basically variants of _brunost_, just tasting more like old goat (which is supposedly an improvement, by Og only knows what twisted logic). _Gamalost_, on the other hand, looks like something found on a compost heap behind the outhouse, smells like a bumā€™s underwear, and tastes likeā€¦ actually, I have no idea, because under no circumstances could you make me try the stuff. Slightly less hardcore but still pretty rank is _[pultost](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pultost)_ (the origin of the name is unclear, but if you insert a space in the middle of the word, it translates as ā€œf\*\*\*ed cheeseā€, which I think says all you need to know), which is is a crumbly substance made from sour cowā€™s milk and flavored with caraway seeds. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/76 "2012-09-10T05:58:56Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > When I bake, I never ever use white sugar (it makes me physically ill) What do you use? Wait, wait, let me guess; evaporated cane juice? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/77 "2012-09-10T06:02:13Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > What do you use? Wait, wait, let me guess; evaporated cane juice? :rolleyes: Unrefined sugar, a mixture of golden and very dark brown. Some golden sugar is indeed just evaporated cane juice. The flavor is much superior to white sugar and not overpoweringly sweet. ---
**Author:** ![Viridiana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Viridiana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Viridiana)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/78 "2012-09-10T06:59:05Z")
> [@JimmyFlair](#): > > To me, mangoes always have a faint ā€œcat peeā€ aftertaste and smell. > > So, weā€™ve got scrota, BO and cat pee. We should start a poll - ā€œWhat disgusting undertone do YOU detect in mango?ā€ šŸ™‚ I love mango, though I agree it has a bit of a pungent undertone. Papaya, on the other hand, and some figs, taste like what I imagine sweaty vagina tastes like (and Iā€™m not a fan). :o Bleah on coffee and wine (except for an odd muscato). Some liquors look awesome, but they all taste like poison to me, different types of poison. Antifreeze, deadly nightshade, liquid plastic by-product - each type has its own wonderfully distinct humans-shouldnā€™t-be-drinking-this taste. Thus, I only drink sufficiently taste-masked ā€œpussyā€ cocktails. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/79 "2012-09-10T13:50:42Z")
> [@Viridiana](#): > > ā€œpussyā€ cocktails Which, presumably, \*do \*taste like vagina. ---
**Author:** ![amaguri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@amaguri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amaguri)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023/80 "2012-09-10T15:47:23Z")
I probably donā€™t have a particularly refined palate, but I was served duck confit at one of the finer restaurants in Vegas and I absolutely hated it. It looked appealing and Iā€™ve always heard it was delicious, but to me it tasted like licking the ground at a petting zoo. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yummy-looking-foods-that-taste-absolutely-awful/634023.md?page=5)