As a little kid, I once sucked on a One-a-day vitamin as if it was a piece of candy. Once the thin coating was gone- yuck!
EVERYTHING from Whole Foods bakery/deli.
It all looks so good! The pastries, the salads, the oh-so-nicely plated meats and veggies in the deli case. Every time I fell prey to it and bought some I got it home and it was bland and tasteless. Expensive, too.
Yeah, Whole Foods could learn a thing or two about basic seasoning. In rare cases they actually manage to overdo the seasoning…their Cajun sweet potatoes, for instance, are almost inedible.
Fondant is technically a building material. It’s edible, but not necessarily tasty. It’s used to transform cakes into fire engines, birdhouses, and other flights of fancy, which is impossible to do with yummy buttercream. Feel free to remove the electric blue layer of fondant from the slice of your cake, no baker’s feelings will be hurt if you don’t eat it.
Honeydew melon, especially when it’s been made into glistening green little balls. Looks so enticing and yummy, but then… uh, blech.
When I lived in NYC, I was not all that far from China Town and would often walk through there when I had a leisurely start to my day and just wanted to roam around.
I found a Chinese pastry shop - yes, such a thing exists - and in the window were the most beautiful, colorful, interesting-looking little pastries I had ever seen. I bought about a dozen different pastries and took them back to my apartment.
For anyone who has ever lived in China, correct me if I am wrong, but based upon this one Chinese pastry shop:
- Chinese don’t particularly like sugar. I highly doubt there was even a half teaspoon of sugar in all twelve pastries combined that I bought that day.
- Chinese have only one single recipe for a very dry, crumble at the touch, cookie that they simply mold into different forms to make them look like each one is something different.
- Despite the true artistry and beautiful colors and amazing shapes, these pastries tasted like clumps of dirt.
So, yes - they would certainly be a beautiful addition to the decor of any dinner party, but they taste like crap.
Haggis looks like shit and tastes worse.
Durian is worse.
The one that I find most disappointing is champagne (if you class it as a food).
I agree about the Chinese ‘pastries’, they are works of art and technically edible, but you wouldn’t want to eat one. I brought home a beautiful pastry fish cookie, painted in exquisite colors. Somehow it got put in a shoebox and I found it years later, a bit faded, sturdy as ever. Even the vermin didn’t want to eat it.
Nope, I’ve given coffee it’s fair shot. I’ve tried a few different brands. I’ve tried it with cream, with sugar, with both, with neither. It all tastes absolutely disgusting to me. But, oh, how I love the smell of the beans. I love grinding it to make it at work. I have coffee scented candles at home. Just can’t drink the awful swill.
It’s probably a good thing though. If I could, I’d be one of those people that would go to Starbucks twice a day, have a cabinet with 15 different kinds of beans, have 4 different kinds of coffee makers on my counter…I tend to get overly invested in that kind of thing.
To me, celery is like potatoes. They are supposed to be cooked. I am not sure why people eat them raw (same with broccoli family.)
Anything in a commercial for Red Lobster.
Hahaha me too! I don’t do coffee because I react as Annie-Xmas did in her post. But I’m sure if I was into it I’d be all in.
All these stories about beautiful yet non-delicious pastries are making me sad 
I used to feel the same way about grapefruit until my wife suggested a very light sprinkle of salt on it. Juicy gf, that is. Don’t know about dry ones.
I’ve been trying to like papaya for decades. It just seems like there is something wrong with me that I don’t find them delicious. So every once in awhile I give it another go hoping my taste-buds have finally matured enough to appreciate the flavor. But nope - still always sorta edible but disappointing. Papayas are no mango.
Palmer’s chocolate Easter bunnies. I didn’t realize until reading some candy blog a few years ago that that stuff isn’t actually chocolate; I had assumed it was some special variety of chocolate only used for holidays that just happened to not taste as good as the normal kind.
Incidentally, some of my mail at work comes in gray plastic envelopes. That plastic smells exactly like Palmer’s “chocolate”.
Monte Cristo? Every one is bad, in a sense, because they’re like 1200 calories! But did it taste good without the jam? All the ingredients should come together to make a good thing.
You guys know you should put sugar on them as well? And I don’t think your wife would be happy to know that you have a juicy gf!
That reminds me - mango is meh or bleh. Used to hate it, then could tolerate it in things/mango ice cream, etc. There was a thread awhile back that recommended a different variety, and that was pretty good, so I’m coming around, maybe. Papaya needs to be the right ripeness. If it is firm when you squeeze it, it still isn’t ripe.
Mango = dirty socks. I just don’t know what people see in it.
Sure, I know all that, but…why? It’s sugar and gelatin and sometimes corn syrup and sometimes glycerin, right? There’s nothing in the ingredient list that tastes like sadness…
Uh, my wife** is** my juicy gf. (Whew! That was a close one.)
You’re not drinking the right champagne, then. And not all of it is bone dry…there are some sec and demi-sec examples out there that are really good too if you prefer a little hint of sweetness in your bubbly.