Yummy-Looking Foods That Taste Absolutely Awful

This reminds me of my brief stint working the coffee bar at a local bookstore. We had this one rather unpleasant lady that would come in every day, like clockwork, for a coffee. I don’t recall what it was exactly that she’d order, but it was something “serious” that didn’t involve any milk or chocolate or syrup. Maybe it was a Cafe Americano.

Anyway, one time she dragged her poor husband in with her, and demanded that he order some coffee.

“But honey, I don’t LIKE coffee.” I heard him saying. I felt bad for the guy. Some people just don’t like the taste. But his obnoxious wife was pretty much hell bent on this poor guy having a coffee, right here, right now.

“Make him a Mocha Latte.” She even ordered for him. I felt really bad for the guy. So I was racking my brain to try to make something that a non-coffee-liker would like. I steamed up the milk, and decided to add an extra shot of vanilla syrup, to counteract the bitterness of the espresso. And I added an extra pump of chocolate. Topped it with whipped cream (and a little artful swirl of chocolate on top) and handed it to him. This guy was NOT looking forward to being forced into drinking coffee, but he was clearly going to do it anyway, to keep the peace.

As soon as it left my hand, I realized my error. I had forgotten the ESPRESSO. Yes, I served up a coffee beverage with no coffee whatsoever. This guy was drinking an over-sweetened hot chocolate. For which he had paid $4.50.

Of course, he loved it. Praised it to the moon, best coffee he ever had! He made a special point of coming back up to leave a tip for me. The wife was thrilled that he was finally “coming around” on the all-important coffee issue.

Later I heard that on a return trip, he didn’t like our coffee anymore. Ordered a mocha latte and couldn’t get past the first sip.

Heh.

I have tried poi. I wanted desperately to like it. I liked everything else at the luau.

It was awful.

I can see where maybe if you ate it every day, from when you were a small child, that it would be tolerable, maybe even kind of a “comfort food” like mashed potatoes. (It is nothing like mashed potatoes, FYI) I can’t even think of anything very close to compare it to.

There’s a green leafy herb that looks as delectable as any other in the produce section. It’s unfortunate it tastes like a mix of rotten citrus and dish soap with under notes of kerosene. They call it cilantro.

There’s evidence there’s a genetic component to whether you like or hate cilantro, meaning that no, haters will never ‘come around’ and no, the people who like cilantro aren’t just putting you on or more tolerant of the awfulness the haters taste. The people who like cilantro don’t taste most of the flavors the haters find in cilantro.

I say this as someone who likes cilantro. To me, it’s just mildly tangy with some very mild bitter notes.

For me, it’s squash. I just plain don’t like squash: It’s too bland and it just tastes weird on top of that, so even if I drown it in butter or salt and pepper or something I still don’t like it. It frequently looks good, though. (And I’m pretty sure it isn’t how it’s been prepared. I only have squash when my mom makes it, and I like everything else she cooks.)

Hands down, the Chinese dessert with the lowest taste-to-looks ratio has to be a moon cake.

Nice and golden brown on the outside, dense lotus crud and salty, dry egg yolk on the inside. Ugh.

I saw on Food Network that they crank those out in August in order to have enough on hand for Christmas. 4 or 5 months for the cake to get lovely and stale, and the brown “chocolatey” coating has about as much flavor as the wax they cover their cheeses in.

Every Christmas, either my mother or sister will ask if we’ll have a Dobish Torte and I’ll remind them that it tastes like cardboard. “But it’s so pretty!”

I was traveling for a while in SE Asia and came across a cellophane-wrapped chocolate cake in a market and I just had to have it. Carried it home, eagerly unwrapped it and took a bite: it tasted like foam rubber. I’m not sure how they got the chocolate color, food dye? because there was no chocolate flavor at all.

I think mochi is the only Asian “sweet” that I’ve ever been happy to try again.

Mochi is good, the real stuff or covering ice cream. Some flavorings sound terrible but are tasty. Like azuki red bean paste. “This thing is flavored with beans? And you want me to eat it?” but it actually turns out to be pretty good.

My DH insists that strawberries taste like solvent.

Does your DH eat a lot of solvent?

Not voluntarily. :slight_smile:

Mango tastes like turpentine smells. I don’t actually find it unpleasant, though. :stuck_out_tongue:

I suspect that the problem lies in which supplier you’re getting your Zombie Anus from.

Organic is good, Zombies who were Veggies when they were human are great, but former Vegans are the best.

And always, and I can’t emphasise this enough, though it is a basic omission that we’ve all been guilty of at one time or another,always, always WIPE THE ZOMBIES ARSE before serving.

Mind you liver and onions is pretty disgusting however you cook it.