# Yup, I'm gonna hire a hooker **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 16, 2000, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614 "2000-08-16T20:49:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![poohpah\_chalupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/91b2a8/32.png) [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/21 "2000-08-17T00:45:18Z")
dood: it’s been said: be careful. ---
**Author:** ![24KaratGold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/cc9497/32.png) [@24KaratGold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/24KaratGold)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/22 "2000-08-17T00:50:38Z")
Long months at sea, Chief? Goldie Gentlemen prefer blondes – with good reason! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/23 "2000-08-17T00:51:10Z")
> [@](#): > > There ought to be a vending machine for transactions of this kind. Auto- **Falcon**? (Oh, yeah. I’m gettin’ the shit kicked outta me in Norfolk!) ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/24 "2000-08-17T00:57:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*(Oh, yeah. I’m gettin’ the shit kicked outta me in Norfolk!) \*\* No SHIT, sailor. You’re dead. 🙂 And oh yeah, Melin wants to know if she can watch. I said sure…hell, maybe I’ll charge admission and let EVERYONE watch! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/25 "2000-08-17T01:09:01Z")
I’ll bring extra quarters if _everyone_ wants to watch… ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/26 "2000-08-17T01:14:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michi \* > \*\*Hmmm…this is kinda interesting to me. When I was in college, a friend of mine had hired two hookers to come to his birthday party. They stripped for everyone and did some mild lesbian stuff, and a couple of lap dances, but none of the guys took them to the bedrooms. I don’t think any of my guy friends have ever been with a hooker. I’d like to know what happens! \*\* Your friends are evidently more restrained than mine. One trip to Vegas and two of the three friends I’m with took a taxi to a whore house (kinda funny, they jumped in, asked the driver where they could find a brothel, and they were off). One guy: $300 for a “bubble bath.” The other, $350+ for sex - no cutesy euphemism offered. Anyway, have fun Lizard. Don’t forget to tip. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/27 "2000-08-17T01:20:02Z")
Chief, you’ve finally done it. I’m utterly speechless. Just standing here with my mouth hanging open at the audacity of that last comment. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/28 "2000-08-17T01:24:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KKBattousai \* > \*\*Don’t forget to tip. 😃 \*\* There’s at least a couple jokes here, I just know it… ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/29 "2000-08-17T01:27:17Z")
Why am I hearing Lou Reed’s _Take A Walk On the Wild Side"_ in the background? ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/30 "2000-08-17T01:44:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Don’t forget to tip. Don’t forget _the_ tip. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/31 "2000-08-17T01:49:24Z")
**Lizard** : Please let us know how this goes. I’ve done this before, under very different circumstances, and it was one of the worst (sexual) experiences of my life. But, I was there on a mission, so to speak, which was not to get laid. That was merely a nice benefit. For the record it cost me about $75 for the “full body massage.” And, it was completely legal where I did it. Why did I do it? Read [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=30031). ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/32 "2000-08-17T02:07:56Z")
What did the leper say to the prostitute? “You can keep the tip.” BA-dum CHING! ---
**Author:** ![Mamapotomus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@Mamapotomus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mamapotomus)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/33 "2000-08-17T02:12:34Z")
A friend of the hubby’s was in town during a messy divorce. He bitched nonstop about needing a woman so hubby called a local escort service. After getting our credit card info, they promise to dispatch a lovely co-ed to friends hotel. The lovely co-ed arrives and friends’ room is called. She asks for my hubbys name (it was on the c.c.) and moron friend says wrong number. She tries back twice, moron repeats the performance. The worst part- we had to pay for it. We still tell people how our friend is such a loser he couldn’t even get lucky with a hooker. Good Luck! ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/34 "2000-08-17T13:32:26Z")
Well, one hou to go until H-time…(Hooker time) ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/35 "2000-08-17T14:01:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bluepony \* > \*\*Why am I hearing Lou Reed’s _Take A Walk On the Wild Side"_ in the background? \*\* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/36 "2000-08-17T14:12:01Z")
So? What happened? Was it everything you were hoping for? Did you get robbed? Would you do it again? Did you wake up in the bathtub, with one of your kidneys missing? Did you get gyped? Did she massauge that crick out of your neck? Was she a narc? Just mildly curious. ---
**Author:** ![FarrisGoldstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f17d59/32.png) [@FarrisGoldstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarrisGoldstein)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/37 "2000-08-17T14:26:10Z")
You’re screwing a whore at 9:30 in the morning??? Wow… I usually can’t do anything til I’ve had my orange juice and coffee. ---
**Author:** ![MadHatter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@MadHatter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadHatter)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/38 "2000-08-17T14:27:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > \*\*Well, one hour to go until H-time…(Hooker time) \*\* Gee… do you think he’s nervous? ---
**Author:** ![uberDave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f04885/32.png) [@uberDave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uberDave)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/39 "2000-08-17T14:48:23Z")
Ok, as I figure it, as I’m writing this post, Lizard is having a ‘massage’. Wow, seems better that being at work like I am. Which reminds me of a hooker joke. hehehe Hooker: “Hi, mister, for $100.00, I’ll do anything that you can describe in three words.” The man thinks for a moment and says… “Paint my house” ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614/40 "2000-08-17T14:53:29Z")
“Alex, I’ll take ‘Hookers for $100’”. “The answer is, ‘The morning of August 17th, 2000’”. … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yup-im-gonna-hire-a-hooker/29614.md?page=3)