# Zap! You're an invisible pink unicorn! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 29, 2017, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517 "2017-01-29T19:54:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2017, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/1 "2017-01-29T19:54:55Z")
It’s a morning in late spring and you’re out for a walk. The Flying Spaghetti Monster extends a noodly appendage and transforms you into an invisible pink unicorn. What do you do? You may be invisible but you still smell like a horse, you can be heard, you leave hoof-prints, and so on. You know you’re pink because you catch yourself in a reflection. Yes, you can only be seen in reflection. How do you know you’re invisible? Because insects and birds keep bumping into you. You also have a nice horn in the middle of your forehead. It’s less than a foot long, not long enough to affect your ability to eat. You can speak. So, what do you do? ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2017, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/2 "2017-01-29T20:02:44Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > So, what do you do? Are there any invisible pink lady unicorns around? ---
**Author:** ![DrForrester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8edcca/32.png) [@DrForrester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrForrester)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2017, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/3 "2017-01-29T20:19:59Z")
Frolic, then possibly trot about a little. If there is a tree or a stream nearby, I am sure that I would probably visit with them for a few hours in the early afternoon. Then, as the day turned to night, I would probably find some unsuspecting person who nobody is ever going to believe and haunt him. My long term goal would be to inspire worship by a small community that provide me with offerings of food and shelter. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2017, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/4 "2017-01-29T20:21:28Z")
I go find the Bigfoot hunting people and mess with their minds. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2017, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/5 "2017-01-29T20:22:39Z")
Where da virgins at? ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2017, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/6 "2017-01-29T20:32:19Z")
Can unicorns fly? I can think of a few heads on which I’d like to dump some invisible pink pee or poop. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2017, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/7 "2017-01-29T20:43:40Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Where da virgins at? This. Also, go to Washington, to harpoon certain people. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2017, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/8 "2017-01-29T21:23:09Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > Can unicorns fly? No, you’re not a pegasus. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2017, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/9 "2017-01-29T21:25:01Z")
I can be seen in reflection? You know that bar where the drunks hang out, the one with the mirror behind the bar? I’d walk thru there. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2017, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/10 "2017-01-29T21:42:30Z")
I would find a particular store window that I can to stand in front of. It would need to be situated so there were no other window across the street that would catch my reflection and have windowless areas to either side that so I could step away as needed. Then, when interesting looking people walk past the window alone I would go along side of them. When they notice me in the reflection I pretend to be their conscience. Also, I’d fight crime. And I might give pony rides to anyone who seemed nice. I don’t mind being a pink unicorn. After all, I’m already fairly pink as it is. What bothers me is not having hands. I don’t know how I’d do much of anything. Does the horn give me magic levitating powers to compensate? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2017, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/11 "2017-01-29T23:00:14Z")
You don’t need hands if you have those pseudo-hooves that My Little Pony characters have, hooves that can pick up teacups, knit, write letters, etc. Extremely dextrous hooves! ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2017, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/12 "2017-01-30T00:09:49Z")
Sadly, your hooves are decidedly equine. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2017, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/13 "2017-01-30T00:24:07Z")
Well! If I could fly I know whose head I’d be flying over first! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2017, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/14 "2017-01-30T00:47:22Z")
But pink clashes with orange **Sahirrnee**! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2017, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/15 "2017-01-30T00:49:19Z")
Hello ---- National Enquirer? Have I got a story for you! I’m -------------- ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2017, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/16 "2017-01-30T01:05:59Z")
I would find a garden and eat the roses. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2017, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/17 "2017-01-30T01:50:18Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Sadly, your hooves are decidedly equine. I’d need to find a buddy – Wilbur to my Mr. Ed – to help me with things. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2017, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/18 "2017-01-30T01:53:40Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > But pink clashes with orange **Sahirrnee**! I was going for Quartz first, first no wings and then plain old hooves. He’s just _NO_ fun! If he’s not going to let me have wings then I’m not going to get to travel too far Can my hooves as least be sparkly? ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2017, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/19 "2017-01-30T10:03:22Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Are there any invisible pink lady unicorns around? None that you can see. ---
**Author:** ![StrangeBird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@StrangeBird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrangeBird)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2017, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517/20 "2017-01-30T10:53:38Z")
Well, it’s going to be difficult to get into my apartment. Using the internet would also be a challenge. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-an-invisible-pink-unicorn/778517.md?page=2)