# Zap! You're Santa Claus **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 23, 2016, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-santa-claus/775483 "2016-12-23T21:47:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-santa-claus/775483/1 "2016-12-23T21:47:45Z")
The Flying Spaghetti Monster, in her infinite ennui, is amused by the current festivities and extends a noodly appendage and gifts you with the power of Santa. You may reach into any suitable space and draw forth a gift-wrapped present which will bring joy to the child (prepubescent human) to whom you present it. Each child may receive one joyful present per year - subsequent presents will be empty. The presents will be modestly-sized and not be valuable in the monetary sense, but will bring joy. The power operates all year and you may give presents to a number of children limited only by your endurance. What do you do? ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-santa-claus/775483/2 "2016-12-23T22:27:09Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > The Flying Spaghetti Monster, in her infinite ennui, is amused by the current festivities and extends a noodly appendage and gifts you with the power of Santa. You may reach into any suitable space and draw forth a gift-wrapped present which will bring joy to the child (prepubescent human) to whom you present it. Each child may receive one joyful present per year - subsequent presents will be empty. The presents will be modestly-sized and not be valuable in the monetary sense, but will bring joy. The power operates all year and you may give presents to a number of children limited only by your endurance. > > What do you do? Hmm… just to be clear, I have none of the other powers or attributes of Santa Claus, such as the logistical ability to visit every kid on Christmas Eve night? Hmm… My first thought would probably be to visit some children’s hospitals. I’d pass myself off as a stage magician, not ask for money, just the opportunity to entertain the kids. If anybody asked about the presents I’d say I bought them at the dollar store or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-santa-claus/775483/3 "2016-12-23T22:59:47Z")
> [@chrisk](#): > > Hmm… just to be clear, I have none of the other powers or attributes of Santa Claus, such as the logistical ability to visit every kid on Christmas Eve night? Nope. Just the ability to give presents. > [@](#): > > My first thought would probably be to visit some children’s hospitals. I’d pass myself off as a stage magician, not ask for money, just the opportunity to entertain the kids. If anybody asked about the presents I’d say I bought them at the dollar store or something like that. Nice one. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2016, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-santa-claus/775483/4 "2016-12-24T02:44:49Z")
Hospitals and slums. And refugee camps as well. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2016, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-santa-claus/775483/5 "2016-12-24T12:12:53Z")
I’m sick of the child worship in our culture, so I’d rarely use such a power at all. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2016, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zap-youre-santa-claus/775483/6 "2016-12-24T16:30:03Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > I’m sick of the child worship in our culture, so I’d rarely use such a power at all. I agree with you; given the option I would rather use the power on/for the elderly. But with all the kids who have less hope before them than I would like, it seems too needed a power to simply bag.