# Zipper + No Underwear = OUCH!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [June 13, 2005, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029 "2005-06-13T01:25:35Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/1 "2005-06-13T01:25:35Z")
Damn, I just pulled the zipper on myself. I really need to start wearing underwear. Owwww… I hope little Amp can forgive me for this.
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### Author:  [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/2 "2005-06-13T01:49:50Z")
Reading the title of this thread was painful enough for me. Good luck with that.
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### Author:  [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/3 "2005-06-13T02:45:56Z")
I just stopped wearing pants.
Problem eliminated.
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### Author:  [@nivlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nivlac)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/4 "2005-06-13T05:30:15Z")
Thanks for reminding me of that unforgettable scene in “Something About Mary”! Makes me cringe to think about it.
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### Author:  [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/5 "2005-06-13T05:46:38Z")
Oh, owch.
Blood drawn?
_scared to read answer_
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### Author:  [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/6 "2005-06-13T06:15:18Z")
I accidentally did this to my ex-husband once. It wasn’t pretty. I tried to help him, but he finally just asked me to let him do it. I couldn’t watch - I had to leave the room.
Consequently, I was banished from it for about a week.
I felt terrible. (about the injury, not the banishment!)
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### Author:  [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/7 "2005-06-13T11:28:47Z")
No, no blood drawn, thankfully. The thing I hate about that happening is knowing that you need to backtrack to get the zipper off, which hurts just as much as getting caught in the first place.
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/8 "2005-06-13T12:42:20Z")
Been there. Done that.
Ouch. Big Ouch.
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### Author:  [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/9 "2005-06-13T12:45:03Z")
I sometimes substitute at a preschool, and one of the jobs I sometimes get assigned is to make sure all the little boys use the toilet after lunch and before outside play time. (Other times I watch the little girls, but they don’t yet have anything that’s likely to get caught in a zipper, so that’s not important now.) I keep waiting, with dread, for this accident to occur. It’s not that they don’t wear underwear, it’s just that the underwear gets twisted, and the kids don’t always check that Mister Happy is secure, and I’m distracted by explaining to two other kids that you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you MAY NOT pick your friend’s nose, and just like that, the zipper goes up before I can yell HEY, TUCK THAT IN, WILLYA?! Somehow, we have avoided disaster, but my heart is in my throat every time I see it.
So, **Amp** , would you like to come over here and explain to the little boys about the dangers of unsafe zipping? 😃
Didn’t think so. Get well soon, Little Amp.
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/10 "2005-06-13T12:57:33Z")
[Walt Garrison]
Just a pinch between your cheeks and gun?
[/Walt Garrison]
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/11 "2005-06-13T13:37:02Z")
Franks And Beans!
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### Author:  [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/12 "2005-06-13T16:10:50Z")
Been there, done that. Thankfully I was young and don’t really remember the incident, but my mom still loves to tell the story. Seems that, while telling her about it, I said “It was as red as Maw Maw’s lipstick!”.
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### Author:  [@jimpatro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimpatro)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/13 "2005-06-13T17:58:43Z")
Yep, unfortunately another victim here. How could the skin get all entwined in the mechanism? All zig zaggy. It looked as awful as it felt. Unzipped millimeter by millimeter. Youch!!
Hijack. By the way, do you say zip it up or zipper it up?
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### Author:  [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/14 "2005-06-13T19:53:00Z")
While not quite a stuck-in-the-zipper story, I walked to the store (1/3 mile) yesterday, “going greek.” Unfortunately, I hadn’t anticipated Nubby’s head being pretty well rubbed raw from the backside of the zipper. Made the 1/3 mile back kind of painful. I promptly put on briefs - and salve - when I got home.
Former NY-Stater, here, and we say “zip up.”
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### Author:  [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/15 "2005-06-13T22:02:54Z")
Like sitting down when the toilet seat is up, this is a mistake you shouldn’t have to make more than once in a life. It makes quite an impression.
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### Author:  [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/16 "2005-06-13T22:23:21Z")
> [@mr bus guy](#):
>
> I just stopped wearing pants.
>
> Problem eliminated.
Back in college I was accosted by an honest to og trench coated flasher. My first thought was that his little friend looked pretty dusty. We still write, so perhaps you can tell me, do you use Pledge or Murphy’s Oil Soap?
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### Author:  [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/17 "2005-06-13T22:31:46Z")
The question is?
Was it a vasectomy or a circumcision? :eek:
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### Author:  [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2005, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/18 "2005-06-13T22:33:26Z")
> [@Large Marge](#):
>
> …Consequently, I was banished from it for about a week.
>
> I felt terrible. (about the injury, not the banishment!)
[Meat Nazi]
**No Schtupp For You!**
_[/Meat Nazi]_
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### Author:  [@ILovCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ILovCoffee)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2005, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/19 "2005-06-14T10:07:53Z")
My 3yr-old nephew _really_ had to go and ran to the restroom. And I am not totally clear on how it came about but the seat did not stay up and came down upon wee willy in mid wee. Unfortunate youngling, I am given to understand that the appendegde was quite bruised and he was in pain for days.
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### Author:  [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2005, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/20 "2005-06-14T17:50:01Z")
> [@ILovCoffee](#):
>
> And I am not totally clear on how it came about but the seat did not stay up and came down upon wee willy in mid wee.
Padded, or worse, carpeted toilet seats are every man’s enemy!
> [@Daithi Lacha](#):
>
> I hadn’t anticipated Nubby’s head being pretty well rubbed raw from the backside of the zipper
Nubby? I take it you’re a grower, rather than a shower. 😃 And, never heard it as “going greek” before. I’ll just add that to “commando” and “regimental”
All in all, this discussion makes kilts sound more and more appealing. Nothing under there but my boots.
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