# Zipper + No Underwear = OUCH! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 13, 2005, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029 "2005-06-13T01:25:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/21 "2005-06-14T19:35:46Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > . Nothing under there but my boots. Nothing? Methinks the doc was overzealous. ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/22 "2005-06-15T01:51:06Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > All in all, this discussion makes kilts sound more and more appealing. Nothing under there but my boots. [Not necessarily!](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062782/) That goes to an uncompromisingly tacky, non-PC, and very funny (if you like that kind of thing) movie on that very subject. [Sgt-Major voice] Comp’ny, bend _DOWN_! Grasp _HEMS_! Comp’ny, stand _HUP_! [/Sgt-Major] ---
**Author:** ![rinni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f6c823/32.png) [@rinni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rinni)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/23 "2005-06-15T13:45:40Z")
Ahhhhh. If I had a penis, I’d… stick to wearing skirts. Skirts that PULL ON. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/24 "2005-06-15T14:25:01Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > …Nubby’s head being pretty well rubbed raw from the backside of the zipper. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/25 "2005-06-15T14:27:03Z")
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Sympathy and an icepack to you, my friend. :smack: ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/26 "2005-06-15T14:28:05Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > Nubby? I take it you’re a grower, rather than a shower. Hey! You no mock-a Li’l Lacha! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/27 "2005-06-15T14:29:12Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > 😃 So… How’s yer backside? ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/28 "2005-06-15T15:31:48Z")
😕 Why do men wear pants??? And women wear skirts??? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/29 "2005-06-15T15:38:22Z")
We live in a mad, mad, mad, mad world, **Johanna**. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/30 "2005-06-15T15:42:11Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > 😕 Why do men wear pants??? And women wear skirts??? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I’d imagine in the days before decent personal hygiene, a closed-pants system for ladies would have promoted yeast growth second only to breweries. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029/31 "2005-06-16T01:32:35Z")
OK, **Daithi Lacha** , _vous avez raison_. I thought of that rejoinder one second after hitting the button. I was thinking of the more perfect trouser conformity to crotch shape enjoyed by women. My question should be amended to: Why doesn’t _everyone_ wear skirts and forget about pants? Why do people feel they need to wear pants in the first place? \ I’ve gotten in the habit of usually saying “trousers” rather than “pants” because in England pants means panties and so many of you Brits hang out here.\ Trousers were invented by the ancient Scythians, horse-riding barbarians from Central Asia and the steppes. Ancient Medes and Persians were the first people to adapt the new legwear from their Scythian foes while they were busy fighting them on horseback. At that time, ancient Egyptian, Hindu, Hebrew, Greek, and Roman men did not wear trousers. The Celts did, though, or at least they wore something similar called “trews,” except when they were wearing kilts or fighting nude. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zipper-no-underwear-ouch/308029.md?page=1)