# Zombie Apocalypse Tomorrow - You get ONLY 5 items **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 28, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377 "2012-11-28T16:25:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/21 "2012-11-28T21:32:57Z")
> [@Furious\_Marmot](#): > > Some disasters, like hurricanes and snowstorms, have plenty of advance warning nowadays. Just drive in a safe direction for few hours and get a hotel room. Back when I lived in hurricane country, that’s what tons of people did. The only folks who got into trouble were the ones who waited too long and got stuck in traffic on flooded roads. > > Disasters like earthquakes, power outages, and river flooding give no warning, but unlike a big storm they won’t close every road in the region. Again, just take an unplanned vacation. 😕 You think river flooding gives no warning? What kind of floods are you talking about? We had such floods in Memphis not long ago. Plenty of warning was had, as the ultimate cause of course was a shitload of rain upriver. ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/22 "2012-11-28T21:35:45Z")
River flooding was a bad example. I was thinking more of localized flash flooding that temporarily turns normally piddly little creeks and ponds into things that eat your house. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/23 "2012-11-28T21:36:01Z")
If I was at home and could grab only what is there: .22 with 4x scope & silencer + ammo “Bushbelt” This is my hiking/hunting belt. - army web belt with knife/survival/1st aid kit (inc water purifiers, fire starting/fishing gear) and 2 x 1L canteens. It’s always ready to go - just fill the water and I’m gone. “Bugout bag” Daypack w/ camelback - has food, silk sleeping-bag inner etc. Letherman supertool [Geol pick](http://www.estwing.com/g_rock_pick_pointed_tip.php) ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/24 "2012-11-28T23:23:42Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > 😕 You think river flooding gives no warning? What kind of floods are you talking about? > > We had such floods in Memphis not long ago. Plenty of warning was had, as the ultimate cause of course was a shitload of rain upriver. That was bad. I kinda laughed though at all the richy rich properties saturated in water at Mud Island. I have always thought that was a horrible location for high end real estate. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/25 "2012-11-28T23:27:40Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > 1 case of top-shelf booze. > 1 bag each of cocaine, meth, mushrooms, and LSD. > There’s no way I’d survive the zombocalypse, so I intend to spend my last few peaceful days living it up. If I’m lucky, I’ll die of a drug overdose right before everything goes to shit. Yeah, this. And if they get me while I’m asleep/passed out I become one of them and don’t need to be afraid of anything but Woody Harrelson. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/26 "2012-11-29T00:26:01Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > This hurts my feelings. You think I wouldn’t send someone to save your ass during the zombie apocalypse? > > ☹ You should just get whats left of her stash because that stuff will be really valuable after the Clipse, or go into business with her. **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/27 "2012-11-29T01:49:02Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > A fully gassed/armored assault vehicle, with extra gas cans I’ll take one of those. add in a great dane, and a lesbian with a shotgun and a fuckin’ big knife. [like this.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m32cz6vdUY1r5rhzvo1_1280.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/28 "2012-11-29T03:19:02Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > This hurts my feelings. You think I wouldn’t send someone to save your ass during the zombie apocalypse? > > ☹ A cynic might point out that if you really gave a shit about her, you’d go save her ass yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/29 "2012-11-29T03:52:24Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > This hurts my feelings. You think I wouldn’t send someone to save your ass during the zombie apocalypse? > > ☹ Well, you know what they say: the first ones to go, for obvious reasons, were the fatties. And I don’t fancy those odds! ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/30 "2012-11-29T04:29:59Z")
Hatchet Box of matches Water bottle Night vision goggles M4A1CCO SD with ammo ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/31 "2012-11-29T18:23:49Z")
What’s with all of these people taking .22s? I get the upside: they’re light and easy to shoot, and you can carry a thousand rounds without slowing yourself down (or filling up your backpack). They’re also useful if you want to hunt rabbits or squirrel But Joe Q. Zombie isn’t going to be phased by your little plinker round. And if the zombies turn out to be the fast type, do you really want to trust your ability to hack them down with a hammer or machete? If it’s harder than you initially thought, you won’t get a second go. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/32 "2012-11-29T18:33:38Z")
The canonical method for deactivating zombies is to shoot them in the head. The .22lr is low in recoil and adequate to the task. Once you puncture the skull, the way it looks in the movies and tv show, you’re done. Power above and beyond that is essentially wasted. More powerful ammo is heavier and louder, too. I’d consider a .22 magnum autoloader to be about ideal, but then you are sacrificing the ability to scavenge a nearly ubiquitous cartridge. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/33 "2012-11-29T18:47:35Z")
It’s not like the zombie apocalypse is going to make the artifacts of civilization disappear overnight. Assuming that we’re talking a Will Smith/Walking Dead type of apocalypse where 99.9% of humanity is either zombies or zombie kibble, then all the useful stuff like matches, food, ammo (seriously, Walking Dead takes place in the South – how can they run low on ammo there?) and even cars will be pretty much yours for the taking. You just have to not be eaten by zombies on your shopping expeditions. So…immediate needs are armor and weapons. The kind of armor sort of depends on whether we’re talking fast zombies or slow zombies, but I’m thinking chain mail with gauntlets, pauldrons, and a helmet. (The aforementioned motorcycle leathers might also work, unless the zombies have the kind of unlikely-super-jaws-even-though-their-tendons-and-muscles-are-rotted capability we see on Walking Dead.) Add a big tactical flashlight for blinding and bashing purposes and a shotgun and spare ammo. (Does the armor count as one item?) So give me armor, a knock down weapon or two, and the intelligence god gave a goose, and I think I’d be pretty OK. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/34 "2012-11-29T19:26:56Z")
1. A bottle of Jack. 2. Another bottle of Jack. 3. A hot guy to have sex with. 4. Another hot guy. 5. Something to kill myself with as the zombies start the attack. There’s no way I’m gonna survive anyway so might as well have some fun and then check out before they turn me. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/35 "2012-11-29T19:48:19Z")
[A simple pocket knife](http://www.swissknifeshop.com/shop/swiss-army/executive-swiss-army-knives/swiss-army-giant-by-wenger) [A simple firearm](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M72_LAW) [A simple vehicle](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:T-90_Bhisma_cropped.jpg) [A cheap bottle of booze](http://www.whiskyandwines.com/benromach-1949-55-year-old-single-malt-whisky) [The Good Book](http://www.amazon.com/The-Sensuous-Dirty-Old-Man/dp/0802703631) ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/36 "2012-11-29T19:53:44Z")
> [@Furious\_Marmot](#): > > Some disasters, like hurricanes and snowstorms, have plenty of advance warning nowadays. Just drive in a safe direction for few hours and get a hotel room. Back when I lived in hurricane country, that’s what tons of people did. The only folks who got into trouble were the ones who waited too long and got stuck in traffic on flooded roads. > > Disasters like earthquakes, power outages, and river flooding give no warning, but unlike a big storm they won’t close every road in the region. Again, just take an unplanned vacation. > > In a world where zombies are a possibility, bug-out kits sound useful, but I’m not sure they’re really all that necessary for real life emergencies in the industrialized world, as long as you have a car and some money. The willingness to say “The house is insured, let’s leave town before the traffic gets bad” is far more important than commando woodcraft. > > What kind of events are you preparing for that will require fire-lighting, subsistence fishing, delicious scratchmade biscuits, water purification, and shooting a few thousand rounds of .22LR? Sounds like a fun long weekend of camping, but kind of overkill for chilling out at the Holiday Inn 200 miles from one’s temporarily unlit/flooded/engulfed in flames house. I live near the mouth of the Columbia River in Oregon. This area is overdue for a major earthquake in the 9.0 range and it’s associated tsunami. The area only has 3 roads leading to the coast, Hwy 30 and 26 heading east/west from the Portland area, and 101 which heads north/south up the coast. All of these roads fail on a fairly routine basis during the winter. Driving out to spend the night elswhere is not usually an option. Even just last week 101 was flooded, the bridge to Wash. closed by a wind blown truck accident, and 30 was stop and go. During the expected earthquake event, all these roads will fail spectacularly. [http://photos.oregonlive.com/photo-essay/2012/11/oregon\_coast\_storm\_november\_19.html](http://photos.oregonlive.com/photo-essay/2012/11/oregon_coast_storm_november_19.html) So I do think about things like water purification, a few supplies, and the .22 is just in case I need to pop a deer. Assistance could be a long time coming. How will you spend a week or 10 days without help? It is worth thinking about. I don’t mean to hijack a perfectly good zombie thread though. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/37 "2012-11-29T19:54:14Z")
Toilet paper. Beer. Chips and dip to snack on. A backpack to carry it all. And a handgun with one bullet in it for my brain when they catch up me a few days later. If Chips and dip counts as two things I’ll forgo the toilet paper. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/38 "2012-11-29T19:59:03Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > The canonical method for deactivating zombies is to shoot them in the head. The .22lr is low in recoil and adequate to the task. Once you puncture the skull, the way it looks in the movies and tv show, you’re done. . . . I’ve heard that the slug will often lose enough energy getting into the skull that it doesn’t have the momentum to get out the other side, leaving it to ricochet around in there, making a mess. Could be an urban legend, though. Me, I have bad knees. But then I don’t get far from my van, so I’ll just make that one of the things I take. In fairness, I won’t stock the van for zombies, so it just has what’s in it regularly. Which reminds me that I need to get my gym bag back to the van, so I’ll have a towel. Maybe a bicycle in case I run out of gas. That’s two. Three would be my dog. Four might be dog food. Nah. I’m going to need a blanket or sleeping bag. I don’t have any typical anti-zombie weapons around. The closest thing I can think of is a shovel. If I get to shop around, I’d look for an old style bung tool. (That name always makes me smile.) Bung tools are used for opening the bungs on 55 steel gallon barrels. Back in the day, the bungs weren’t standardized, so the bung tool was this roughly club shaped brass thing with various protrusions on the end, meant to fit different styles of bungs. I had a job once that called for me to use one fairly regularly, and I was never able to pick it up without thinking “blunt instrument.” More modern ones are streamlined and lighter. The brass is to prevent sparks against the steel, since a good number of 55 gallon drums are used to store various solvents and other flammable things. Heh. Bung tool. ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/39 "2012-11-29T20:04:41Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > I live near the mouth of the Columbia River in Oregon. This area is overdue for a major earthquake in the 9.0 range and it’s associated tsunami. > > The area only has 3 roads leading to the coast, Hwy 30 and 26 heading east/west from the Portland area, and 101 which heads north/south up the coast. All of these roads fail on a fairly routine basis during the winter. Driving out to spend the night elswhere is not usually an option. > > Even just last week 101 was flooded, the bridge to Wash. closed by a wind blown truck accident, and 30 was stop and go. During the expected earthquake event, all these roads will fail spectacularly. > > [http://photos.oregonlive.com/photo-essay/2012/11/oregon\_coast\_storm\_november\_19.html](http://photos.oregonlive.com/photo-essay/2012/11/oregon_coast_storm_november_19.html) > > So I do think about things like water purification, a few supplies, and the .22 is just in case I need to pop a deer. Assistance could be a long time coming. > > How will you spend a week or 10 days without help? It is worth thinking about. > > I don’t mean to hijack a perfectly good zombie thread though. I stand corrected, blame passive continental margin mindset. There clearly are inhabited places in the US where all of the roads could reasonably be expected to fail simultaneously in an unanticipated disaster. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377/40 "2012-11-30T05:29:42Z")
> [@solosam](#): > > … > Leatherman multi-tool… 5 assorted Leatherman multi-tools. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-apocalypse-tomorrow-you-get-only-5-items/642377.md?page=3)