# Zombie Holocaust plans! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 3, 2010, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202 "2010-03-03T23:29:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/1 "2010-03-03T23:29:32Z")
I have a group of friend and we have been brainstorming the usual Zombie Holocaust Survival plans. I won’t be going into details as to what ours are until a few folks have answered the poll, but I’m hoping to get some data to back my plan up to my friends, as I feel theirs is unworkable. While the poll says “Wal Mart” it could be a Greatland Target, or any other large superstore. Similar substitutions should be assumed. Common sense, folks! ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/2 "2010-03-04T00:29:27Z")
Wal-mart is already full of disgusting zombies. Costco is the only place to go, unless your home is stocked up. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/3 "2010-03-04T01:25:59Z")
Suicide is painless… ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/4 "2010-03-04T01:46:57Z")
You forgot the obvious: stay moving. Get a trailerhome, some motorcycles, and a keep to the open areas, avoiding the interstates and cities. And then finally make it to the sea, and then get on a Boat. Actually, since I’m near the Water right now… I’d say skip all that mess, get some weapons, some non-perishables a good wifi and such and just get on a good sized fishing boat ASAP and see what we can do. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/5 "2010-03-04T01:57:04Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > Suicide is painless… but it brings on many changes - which are perhaps best avoided in the midst of a zombie outbreak, yes? ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/6 "2010-03-04T04:42:18Z")
I’ve got plenty of plans and ideas about what I need to do, but nothing firm, nothing in writing. Remember, Kids: Head shots only! Since I live across the street from a mall, that’s my go-to option once the Zombie balloon goes up. I worked there one Xmas, so I’m somewhat familiar with the back hallways and loading paths that make the catacombs of your run of the mill mall. Further, I live in a multi-story condo. I sometimes joke to my neighbor on the 15th floor that we could set up some kind of zipline basket system from building to building, but we’ve never actually tried it just yet. (Not because we’re afraid of any legal trouble / cops showing up, but rather I think we’d burn through all the nylon cords pretty quick from all the people wanting rides on the zipline.) ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/7 "2010-03-04T05:39:52Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > Suicide is painless… You’re first on the list to feed to the zombies, if you’re going to continue spreading earworms… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/8 "2010-03-04T06:26:04Z")
So long as I’m dead already, feel free to feed those in need. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/9 "2010-03-04T06:39:45Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > So long as I’m dead already, feel free to feed those in need. 🙂 “Suicide as Altruism” You’ve the start of a good apocalyptic thesis going there! Write it BEFORE you’re dead, though; I’m sure the zombies will find a way to use the freshly-deceased, and publishing while a zombie would just be tacky. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/10 "2010-03-04T07:40:13Z")
Is it happening during winter? If so, I’m staying home. Zombies are probably no more of a match for night temps in the teens than anyone else outside overnight, so I doubt they’ll do much before freezing solid. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/11 "2010-03-04T10:34:46Z")
I’m stealing this from my disaster preparedness group, but it applies; One of the first instincts you might have when thinking about disaster preparedness/survival in general, is that the ultimate refuge has to be that huge Mega-Mart near your house. I mean, they have everything, right? Food, water, shelter, and possibly even arms quite literally line the walls in places like that. Everyone else has had, or will come up with, the same idea. Well, maybe not everyone- but certainly so many that the chances your particular store won’t be overrun is pretty damn slim. Have you ever been to the grocery store around dinner time? It’s a pain in the ass, isn’t it? What about before a blizzard or a major storm? It’s a zoo. Remember Katrina? Great googley-moogely! Now imagine that it’s the motherfucking End of the World as We Know It. The same principle applies to setting up shop after some time has passed in the PAW. Only now, though there might be fewer people to compete with, those that are left could be crazy, sick, or just plain hostile. The materials you came looking for will be depleted by spoilage and scavenging. Squatters may defend what’s left with violence. The building will more than likely already have had its security measures breached. In short, it’s not just a bad idea- it’s a ridiculously common one. Don’t do it. You shouldn’t rely on hitting the supply jackpot after the unthinkable happens anyway. We’re about preparedness: getting and learning what we’ll need before we need it. Hopefully you are, too, and that’s why you’re here. 8) So ditch the Mega-Store “plan” and come up with something original, something that works best for you and your specific set of circumstances. Myself, I’m holing up at home. I’m already prepared for a massive earthquake to destroy most of the city, what’s a little zombie holocaust? ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/12 "2010-03-04T14:00:34Z")
> [@ToeJam](#): > > You forgot the obvious: stay moving. Get a trailerhome, some motorcycles, and a keep to the open areas, avoiding the interstates and cities. And then finally make it to the sea, and then get on a Boat. I’d most certainly leave out the motorcycles. Any roads you’ll be on won’t be passable to use a motorcycle at any useful speed, and the noise they make will do nothing but draw attention to yourself. Get yourself a nice bike. I’d also avoid the sea. Sure - you’re not near zombies, but what about when you need supplies? Zombies are happy to wait for you ashore as you slowly run out of fresh water and bullets. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/13 "2010-03-04T14:47:58Z")
I plan on living long enough that I’m going to need food the next season so it’s off to the country for me. Nice little stream in a valley that as long as we keep the smoke down I’ll disappear in. Once we’re found it will probably end quickly since the defenses won’t be as good but I figure the zombies are going to eat everyone in the cities first before they start systematically searching the countryside. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/14 "2010-03-04T15:03:52Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > Myself, I’m holing up at home. I’m already prepared for a massive earthquake to destroy most of the city, what’s a little zombie holocaust? Ayup. That’s the plan for us, too. Bunker up, hunker down and outwait the crazy. Anybody poking their nose around gets it perforated. After the initial spasm of rioting, looting, and general rowdiness subsides, we can take stock and choose out options. I just have to teach the cats how to act as loaders, because the wife is a bit clumsy with the high capacity toys. ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/15 "2010-03-04T15:46:29Z")
I’d be inclined to hole up in this pub - [Black Castle, Bristol - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Castle_Public_House) - Shaun of the Dead style. If I can survive the walk there… ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/16 "2010-03-04T17:42:01Z")
The best place would be an aircraft carrier. Nuclear power to provide electricity and desalinate water, stay out at sea only making rare shore runs to get new supplies, plenty of weapons on board with well-trained sailors and marines to provide security for the shore excursions. Eventually the zombies would rot away and then you can safely come ashore again. Sure, zombies are capable of walking underwater but they’d have to walk a straight line to get to you and would get crushed by the pressure of the ocean. Plus they’re not very smart so “out of sight, out of mind”. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/17 "2010-03-04T17:48:27Z")
George Carlin’s advice regarding assholes is equally appropriate regarding zombies: the beach is the best place to be, because that way you can only have them on three sides of you. And if they come from the other side, you can hear 'em splash. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/18 "2010-03-04T17:51:50Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > Wal-mart is already full of disgusting zombies. > > Costco is the only place to go, unless your home is stocked up. Trouble is Costco doesn’t have ammo. Upstairs in my house with stairs destroyed until the cold weather sets in. Then off to the cabin in the mountains. Not that it is built yet, but I have 6 years and 7 months to rectify that. But perhaps I have said too much already. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/19 "2010-03-04T17:55:30Z")
I’ll hole up on my oil rig. It should be pretty safe\* - it’s out at sea, with plenty of food on board. - Assuming there’s no such thing as thing as [underwater zombies](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5hjGxUup34), of course. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202/20 "2010-03-04T18:27:21Z")
Let the inmates out and lock myself in a prison. Best would be to boat over to Riker’s Island, let the prisoners out (without getting the weapons - haven’t worked out the details on how I’d accomplish that yet), then destroy the land bridge. Use the boat to re-supply; steal more boats for alternate exit strategies. Even if the walking dead reached the island in numbers, there are enough fortified zones to allow for escape. Well, I assume there are as I’ve never been to Riker’s Island. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-holocaust-plans/531202.md?page=2)