# Zombie threads, can anything be done? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [July 12, 2012, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005 "2012-07-12T15:19:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/61 "2012-07-20T04:25:40Z")
Without zombie threads I would have NEVER known one member would get a sudden and uncontrollable urge for FAT and JUICY MUSHROOMS in the middle of a thread about some girl’s guy liking his balls scratched. By her. Zombies gotta stay. There’s gold buried in them thar graveyards. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/62 "2012-07-20T04:43:02Z")
Thought of constructive solution:List the date of the OP when it’s on the front page. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/63 "2012-07-20T04:53:43Z")
Orrrrr… you could just look at the date clearly displayed right at the top of the OP when you open the thread. If you can’t do _that_, how would your idea somehow work better? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/64 "2012-07-20T04:57:21Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/65 "2012-07-20T05:22:03Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > Thought of constructive solution:List the date of the OP when it’s on the front page. Thought of contrustive solution: get over it. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/66 "2012-07-20T12:34:32Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > Thought of constructive solution:List the date of the OP when it’s on the front page. Personally, I’d like it if they did this even though I don’t care about zombie threads. Sometimes when I am looking through a search result I’d like to see when the thread was started, rather than last bumped. I’m sure it’s a simple tick box on the admin panel somewhere as I see lots of vB boards with this display. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/67 "2012-07-20T12:40:56Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > Personally, I’d like it if they did this even though I don’t care about zombie threads. Sometimes when I am looking through a search result I’d like to see when the thread was started, rather than last bumped. I’m sure it’s a simple tick box on the admin panel somewhere as I see lots of vB boards with this display. Yeah, that would be good. One way to convey the same information that might even be better is to display how long the thread has been in existence, e.g., “6 days”, or “About five months”, or “Eleven years.” I know next to nothing about programming, but I assume this isn’t hard to do. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/68 "2012-07-20T12:48:00Z")
It’s not even really “programming”, **JKellyMap**. It’s merely choosing display options on the Administrator’s control panel. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/69 "2012-07-20T13:13:55Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > It’s not even really “programming”, **JKellyMap**. It’s merely choosing display options on the Administrator’s control panel. Even better! Worth a try, as long as it wouldn’t eat up too much “real estate”…the number of threads visible on each forum’s main page seems to work well now (I realize this varies with each user’s settings and hardware). I don’t think it would be a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/70 "2012-07-20T13:20:27Z")
Best possible solution: head on over to Amazon, buy one of [these](http://www.amazon.com/Diane-D902-Practice-Mannequin-Hand/dp/B001DYFIPY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1342790403&sr=8-1&keywords=mannequin+hand), place it next to your computer, hold it while you browse. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/71 "2012-07-20T13:36:22Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > Even better! Worth a try, as long as it wouldn’t eat up too much “real estate”…the number of threads visible on each forum’s main page seems to work well now (I realize this varies with each user’s settings and hardware). I don’t think it would be a problem. As I have seen it implemented, it doesn’t really take any space. In the spot where it says the thread starter it just also adds a date. eg “Started by kanicbird, 03-19-2012 01:57 PM” So it shouldn’t effect number of threads visible. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/72 "2012-07-26T21:34:09Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Thought of contrustive solution: get over it. You forgot “the fuck”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/73 "2012-07-26T23:01:28Z")
> [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](#): > > Without zombie threads I would have NEVER known one member would get a sudden and uncontrollable urge for FAT and JUICY MUSHROOMS in the middle of a thread about some girl’s guy liking his balls scratched. By her. > > Zombies gotta stay. There’s gold buried in them thar graveyards. [Link!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=340106) Mushrooms at Post #7, et seq. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/74 "2012-07-26T23:15:30Z")
There’s obviously a certain amount of interest in THIS suggestion: > [@etv78](#): > > Thought of constructive solution:List the date of the OP when it’s on the front page. > [@CarnalK](#): > > Personally, I’d like it if they did this even though I don’t care about zombie threads. Sometimes when I am looking through a search result I’d like to see when the thread was started, rather than last bumped. I’m sure it’s a simple tick box on the admin panel somewhere as I see lots of vB boards with this display. > [@JKellyMap](#): > > Yeah, that would be good. One way to convey the same information that might even be better is to display how long the thread has been in existence, e.g., “6 days”, or “About five months”, or “Eleven years.” > > I know next to nothing about programming, but I assume this isn’t hard to do. > [@JKellyMap](#): > > Even better! Worth a try, as long as it wouldn’t eat up too much “real estate”…the number of threads visible on each forum’s main page seems to work well now (I realize this varies with each user’s settings and hardware). I don’t think it would be a problem. > [@CarnalK](#): > > As I have seen it implemented, it doesn’t really take any space. In the spot where it says the thread starter it just also adds a date. eg “Started by kanicbird, 03-19-2012 01:57 PM” So it shouldn’t effect number of threads visible. This was already suggested up-thread, in posts #21 and 32. **Colibri** notes (post #33) that newer versions of vBulletin can do this, but he don’t know if the SDMB version can, and doesn’t express any interest in finding out. **C K Dexter Haven** states more explicitly that the admins aren’t interested: > [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > In some forums (like CoCC, say) there’s really no problem with zombie threads. And we permit them there. It was discussed three years ago, so what? The only problem is if someone re-opens an old thread just to say, “I agree with that!” and doesn’t add anything new. Then it’s a kind of waste of time to read through a long thread that’s old with nothin’ new. As others have said: avoid that problem by noticing the date before you start reading; then skip to the recent posts, perhaps. Or re-read and enjoy the thread. **Basically, we don’t see this as a problem.** > > \ > > Now, why not mark a zombie thread? **The only method that is practical (there is no staff with time or availability to modify the system) would be for mods to mark such threads on a one-on-one basis.** By the time we do that, it’s too late. The current approach is we close 'em when we find 'em in forums that don’t allow 'em; and we ignore 'em in forums that do allow 'em. Seems to work. Well of course nobody expects the mods to go marking them on a one-by-one basis – Much more trouble than just closing them, as decided, on a one-by-one basis, I guess. And maybe this vBulletin doesn’t provide for putting the OP date on the thread list page. How much admin time would it take to simply check into that and tweak the thread list page if possible? Apparent resolution: Ain’t gonna happen because the mods aren’t really all into this. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/75 "2012-07-27T06:00:40Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > **Colibri** notes (post #33) that newer versions of vBulletin can do this, **but he don’t know** if the SDMB version can, and doesn’t express any interest in finding out. Nit-pick: (Oops.) Let me be the first to call Grammar-Nazi on myself for that, for the sole lame purpose of beating all the other resident generic grammar nazis to it. You know what I meant there. ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/76 "2012-07-27T08:14:25Z")
I’ve seen VBulletin boards that require the poster to click a box acknowledging they are about to reply to a long dead thread. Might help if that setting is available here. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/77 "2012-07-27T10:11:52Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Well of course nobody expects the mods to go marking them on a one-by-one basis – Much more trouble than just closing them, as decided, on a one-by-one basis, I guess. And maybe this vBulletin doesn’t provide for putting the OP date on the thread list page. How much admin time would it take to simply check into that and tweak the thread list page if possible? > > Apparent resolution: Ain’t gonna happen because the mods aren’t really all into this. No: Apparent resolution: Ain’t gonna happen because why would you expect people who are all butthurt about the starting dates of thread yet STILL choose to not look at the date on the OP to look at the date on the thread list page? It’s _right there_, upper left hand corner of the first post in the thread–right there with a single glance. If you can’t look at that, why should the mods expect you to be able/willing to look at anything else? The chronic “anti-zombie-thread” types probably won’t be satisfied until the SDMB sends a nursemaid of some sort to their house to whisper the date of each OP in their ear. And then spoonfeed them their mashed bananas and tuck them into bed afterwards. (And if you post without reading the OP, you get what you deserve) It’s also a solution in search of a problem. Other than the aformentioned people who can’t look at the dates, _there’s nothing wrong with “zombie” threads_ except to the obsessive-compulsive types who are apparently afraid of getting message-board botulism from posting in a thread more than 13 minutes old\*. What kind of person cares if a “I love to eat strawberry jam mixed into my oatmeal. What do YOU like in it?” thread was bumped from 2003–especially if it’s too much work for them to glance up and to the left? What’s wrong with bumping a “Man, George Bush’s second term will be a _total_ success!” thread and discussing how times/opinions have changed? And on the rare times that really nasty fight/flame thread is bumped, the mods _do_ close those, so the “bringing up old/hurt feelings” junk doesn’t apply. \*hyperbole. ---
**Author:** ![srzss05](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@srzss05](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/srzss05)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/78 "2012-07-27T11:20:09Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Apparent resolution: Ain’t gonna happen because the mods aren’t really all into this. In addition to what Fenris said, this has been said in almost every thread about this, but people somehow think that **their** thread will be the one to change their minds. Things never change around here just because someone asks for it; it changes on the whim of the admins. But in this case I agree that it is a solution in search of a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/79 "2012-07-27T16:16:01Z")
Having a really hard time, trying to figure out just who’s getting all butthurt by whom here. The existence of a 78-post thread on the subject (and, as others have noted, apparently a new such thread every month, but at least it’s a NEW thread each month and not the same old resurrected zombie thread) seems to demonstrate that SOMEBODY’S getting all butthurt about it. My personal resolution would be to post in any thread where I think I might have something useful to contribute, with little or no regard to the OP date or the most-recent-post date. The mods’ have clearly stated their resolution, which is, they’re generally fine with this as long as the new post actually contributes something useful to a conversation. As for all the people who get butthurt about this (the existence of whom is clearly established), well, that’s their butt’s problem, not mine nor the mods’. I was just trying to suggest a fairly simple step that would reduce the problem greatly, which others before me have suggested too, and which is known to exist in at least some versions of vBulletin. It seems that some posters here have such delicate butts as to find even that butthurtful. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005/80 "2012-07-27T16:38:10Z")
> [@srzss05](#): > > But in this case I agree that it is a solution in search of a problem. Putting the date that a thread was created in the forum list is a “solution” on a very large proportion of forums out there. Fenris can get all het up about how I could just look at the the first post, but I don’t necessarily want to open the fucking thread at all. If this version of vB can’t do it (which I would find baffling) then I don’t expect anything. If it’s a simple click on the control panel it would be a simple thing to try with absolutely no down side. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombie-threads-can-anything-be-done/628005.md?page=5)