# Zombies are invading. What do you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644 "2007-07-05T20:38:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/21 "2007-07-06T02:47:32Z")
So we can stroll away from them? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/22 "2007-07-06T03:27:27Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] So we can stroll away from them? [/QUOTE] Until you trip and sprain your ankle. Then what will you do? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/23 "2007-07-06T04:34:04Z")
Fuck the Demarchists, I’ll tight beam my Conjoiner allies for support. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_C](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Captain\_C](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_C)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/24 "2007-07-06T05:35:25Z")
[QUOTE=Wile E] Until you trip and sprain your ankle. Then what will you do? [/QUOTE] Scream alot and crawl your way upstairs. Works in horror movies 100% of the time. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/25 "2007-07-06T05:52:43Z")
The Batman soundtrack? Throw it. Dire Straits? Throw it. ---
**Author:** ![kitemaker\_chuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a88e4f/32.png) [@kitemaker\_chuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitemaker_chuck)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/26 "2007-07-06T05:54:49Z")
If you can’t beat 'em, join 'em!!! ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/27 "2007-07-06T06:01:20Z")
[QUOTE=kitemaker\_chuck] If you can’t beat 'em, join 'em!!! [/QUOTE] Is what I’m thinking. You let them catch you, turn you into a zombie, then join the feast of the yummy brraaaaiiiiinnnnnsssss! ::drooool:: ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/28 "2007-07-06T06:10:31Z")
Actually, I think it works better not knowing all the specifics of the zombies. That’s what would really be the case in such a scenario. What I would do: 1: Lock all the doors. 2: Kill any family members in the house that have already gotten zombified (Probably with a baseball bat. I might not survive this part). 3: Close all curtains and barricade the glass backdoor with some couches. 4: Move all food and supplies upstairs. 5: Use any furniture to block the stairway. I think some beds would work well for that. 6: Make a big “Help” sign and put it on the roof. I can get to the roof from a second-story window. 7: Hide inside and try not to give the zombies reason to think I’m inside (Closed curtains, no lights, etc. No one nearby visits regularly, so if they don’t see me, I should be ok.) ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/29 "2007-07-06T06:33:53Z")
Assuming the zombie plague is on the mainland, I’d fly or raft to an island near Florida and hole up with the other survivors there. If I was gonna die, I’d find the hottest zombie and screw the brains out of her. Well, you know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![anamnesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb8c5e/32.png) [@anamnesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anamnesis)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/30 "2007-07-06T06:40:55Z")
I’d set up some laser lights, a smoke machine, a very large cocktail bar, and start spinning a copy of ‘Kerkraft 400’ over and over. With any luck, the zombies will have no choice but to throw down and forget all about devouring my tasty brain. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/31 "2007-07-06T06:45:04Z")
I need to go home and take a picture for you guys. I _literally_ have an emergency “zombie attack” kit in my apartment. Always be prepared. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/32 "2007-07-06T06:49:52Z")
I’d gather the food, clothing, water, weapons, and other supplies into my attic, along with the husband and cats. Pull up the attic door, cut a hole in the roof (it can get a wee bit warm in the middle of summer in that attic), and wait as long as possible. According to the _World War Z_ website, I only have a 26% chance of survival anyway, so I suppose I’d just be awaiting the inevitable. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/33 "2007-07-06T06:55:41Z")
I’d find my local nuclear shelter, military base, or arrmory after arming myself. That’s where the citizenry will locate in an EBS zombie alert. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/34 "2007-07-06T16:54:30Z")
[QUOTE=dysonsphere] …They MUST bite you to infect you. Dead people don’t just spontaneously rise out of their graves. Also, their congealed bodily fluids can infect you if you ingest them somehow (assuming that the zombie plague is bacterial). That means that open wounds can be deadly in the presence of zombies… [/QUOTE] Ah, that makes things alot less hopeless. That makes it possible for civilization to eventually recover. [QUOTE=dysonsphere] …Let’s see, what else…let’s say that they’re smart enough to _claw_ at a closed door, but not to turn the doorknob. Also, they shamble slightly slower than a normal person’s walking speed. Is that enough information? [/QUOTE] If they claw at a doorknob long enough eventually they’ll turn the knob and open it (unless it’s locked.) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/35 "2007-07-06T17:11:32Z")
[QUOTE=bigbabysweets2000] I need to go home and take a picture for you guys. I _literally_ have an emergency “zombie attack” kit in my apartment. Always be prepared. [/QUOTE] I don’t know whether to think you’re crazy or consider you a kindred spirit. I’m constantly scouting out locations that would be safe in case of a zombie attack. I know of one great big church that’s built like an army base, but of course everyone would think of it and then the whole Lord of the Flies bullshit would begin… If I heard about an attack right now, I’d do a little online research, gather up some friends and take a private jet to the closest tropical island (the fact that these particular zombies can’t cross water is key, though I’m not sure how I’d know that ahead of time. The zombies in the ocean thing in **World War Z** was real scary). ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/36 "2007-07-06T18:19:48Z")
Time to find the instructions for building a flamethrower I found on the Internet… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/37 "2007-07-06T18:30:19Z")
I had a long post, that got eaten by the hamsters. To sum up: 1. I have a basement in my apartment building that is just like the one in Night of the Living Dead. Board up the door a bit, and it’d be great. 2. I don’t think the OP’s idea will work. You can bet a bunch of other people have gotten there before you and taken your boat. 30 minutes is too long. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/38 "2007-07-06T18:53:37Z")
What’s the penetrating power of the zombies’ claws? Can they cut through 3mm of rubber without directed effort? If so, I head to the nearest dive shop and get a 3mm wet suit – and loads of water, those things are stifling on land. Then find an armory or WalMart/Target with a weapons department. Shotguns, pistols, chainsaws, swords, compound bows, etc. Plus probably camping food and equipment for when we have to pull out. And clean underwear, too! Then I’ll find a convoy heading off the mainland to a tropical refuge, and offer my weapons skills to the smartest-looking woman (as in, whoever’s carrying weapons without being overloaded AND without an “eww!” expression). ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/39 "2007-07-06T19:06:01Z")
Where I live people are free to own guns. Honestly, if the people at large know what is happening, the slow zombie outbreak doesn’t seem to be all that scary to me. They’re like criminals, but slow and very stupid. You have to get a head shot, but is that so hard if you have some time and ammo? I have family with plenty of guns, and a house that is out of the way. We’d load up on supplies and ammo (maybe try to get some extra floodlights or night-vision goggles, or motion sensors), drive down there, and hole up. If the zombies can’t shoot, what is the problem? The biggest thing I can imagine is other people trying to move into the house. Really, I haven’t watched an old-style zombie movie in quite some time, but it doesn’t seem like these zombies should be a great threat to a well-armed populace. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644/40 "2007-07-06T19:13:57Z")
Buy a bunch of opaque bags to tie around zombies’ heads. DONE! 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-are-invading-what-do-you-do/410644.md?page=3)