# Zombies: Fast or Slow? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 19, 2004, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155 "2004-03-19T05:06:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/21 "2004-03-19T18:42:14Z")
> [@](#): > > Thank you, Professor Buzzkill. Well, sexcuse me for attempting to elevate the discussion. Fine. Fast zombies are much more terrifying than slow zombies because they seem to more ferocious and harder to escape. Slow zombies are easy to elude one on one–they’re only dangerous in crowds. Fat zombies, however can take you down quickly, and all they need to doom you is to get in one quick chomp. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/22 "2004-03-19T19:22:01Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > Fat zombies, however can take you down quickly… Night of the Lipid Dead? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/23 "2004-03-19T19:34:49Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > Well, sexcuse me for attempting to elevate the discussion. Aw **gobear** , sweetie, you know I’ll always “sexcuse” you… That’s supposed to sound dirty; does it? ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/24 "2004-03-19T19:42:04Z")
> [@Moody Bastard](#): > > Chasing others: _fast_ > > Chasing me: _slow_ Remember: you don’t have to outrun the zombies, you just have to outrun the people you’re with! ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/25 "2004-03-19T19:46:31Z")
I’m a fan of the slow-moving zombies. Fast zombies are creepy, yeah, but the slow ones … _man_, no matter what you do, they get you. You see a horde of slow-moving zombies coming at you. So what do you do, you run. But no matter how fast you run, those slow-moving zombies are _still_ right behind you. I don’t know how they do it. Much like Michael Myers, no matter how fast you’re going, those zombies can just amble along, even _mosey_, and you still can’t get away. ---
**Author:** ![aleong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4af34b/32.png) [@aleong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aleong)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/26 "2004-03-19T19:47:47Z")
I don’t mind zombies being fast… as long as they don’t start adopting the overused ‘crawling along walls and ceilings’ paradigm that has crept its way into other ‘creature features’, such as “Blade”, “Underworld”, “Planet of the Apes” remake, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/27 "2004-03-19T19:53:51Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > Although “The Curse of the Black Pearl” has been widely referred to as a “zombie pirate” movie, true zombies do not display individual personalities, abstract thought and computational abilities like those of the accursed pirates. Those characters deserve a term of their own. “Accursed Pirates” comes to mind. Even though I did enjoy the movie, all the way through I had two thoughts: “Is that Jack Sparrow or Raoul Duke?” “Cervantes could kick that guy’s ass any day.” In any game, from AD&D to Doom, zombies tend to be low-threat kinda enemies. Unless you’re playing Return to Castle Wolfenstein and they’re on fire. But they’re still not as bad as those damn leather-suited Nazi chicks. Still can’t get through that church. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/28 "2004-03-19T21:29:13Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > …true zombies do not display individual personalities, abstract thought and computational abilities like those of the accursed pirates… What about Bub from **Day of the Dead**? He manifested individuality, excitement in his accomplishments, remorse in the death of his “father” (which I found wildly ironic…a zombie morning someone’s death), and a sense of vengence. Of course, this is a far stretch from the original mindset of a zombie simply being someone sapped of their free will and enslaved by the will of another, but aren’t you glad they’ve come along so nicely? ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/29 "2004-03-19T21:49:20Z")
I thought I posted to this thread… I think the slow zombies are more alien and therefore more scary. They’re less human. Plus, I think they build suspense better. IIRC, Hitchcock (sp?) talked about how he was all about suspense and used a bombing as an example. The viewer knew the bomb was placed and that it would (should?) go off. The time between placement and explosion was time for the suspense to build. Similarly, the slow march of the zombie gives time for the emotions to build and for our imaginations to run away with us. The fast “zombies” of _28 Days Later_ weren’t really about dread, so much as shock and suprise. Even when he went to the store, the tension was from the viewer knowledge of what would predictably happen rather than from something inherent in the story. So I vote for slow zombies. They don’t have to be gory or well made up to scare the shit out of you. _Night of the Living Dead_ is the most scary movie ever made, IMO. Compare to, let’s say, _Alien_ where the crew was basically on a tiger hunt. It was suspenseful, I guess, but each moment of real suspense & terror lasted only shortly. Like when you see the alien come down from the rafters out of focus and stand up to its full height. That’s when you really freak out, because you know what’s coming and you are helpless. I think slow zombies really make the most of that. I also think that’s why slashers walk and don’t run. If you have the recently published _Complete Farside_ or whatever it is called, read Larson’s piece about his brother hiding in the closet. His brother understands slow zombies… ---
**Author:** ![Diet\_dis-Pepsi-a](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ab097/32.png) [@Diet\_dis-Pepsi-a](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diet_dis-Pepsi-a)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/30 "2004-03-19T22:11:30Z")
I say there is room for either type of zombie. Just as there are fast humans and slow humans, can’t there be fast and slow zombies since they start off as humans anyway. The extra speed or slowness of any zombie can be written off as supernatural effects. If we use only natural processes to rationalize different zombie behaviors we are still stuck with whole metabolization of brains and flesh as an energy source. How can we produce a better PowerBar for zombies? Is physical performance or mental achievement of any individual zombie directly related to diet or is it to racial or social or even economic situation of the human who died to become the zombie. So many zombie questions will remain unanswered so I suggest we be accepting of all skill levels of any the undead. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/31 "2004-03-19T22:26:02Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > I thought I posted to this thread… My last post disappeared, too. I’ll look for them in the graveyard. You search the abandoned amusement park. > [@El Elvis Rojo](#): > > What about Bub from Day of the Dead? He manifested individuality, excitement in his accomplishments, remorse in the death of his “father” (which I found wildly ironic…a zombie morning someone’s death), and a sense of vengence. Bill Murray wants to eat your brain in _What about Bub?_. I’ve nothing against such characters, and I dug the accursed pirates from _The Curse of the Black Pearl_. I just wish we could call these creatures something else and reserve “zombie” for the mindless automaton – kind of like the way science fiction writers tend to call the most humanlike artificial humans “androids” instead of “robots”. Zombie is a great metaphor and I hate to see it diluted. To lumber stiffly back toward the OP, Classic Zombies enslaved to the will of another should move slowly and awkwardly, since it should be difficult to remotely manipulate a corpse. The independently functioning New Zombies should move slowly in general but be capable of quick strikes, like a reptile. Pseudo Zombies that can strategize in advance and carry out complex plans quickly and efficiently should be clever enough to think up something better to call themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/32 "2004-03-19T23:12:50Z")
Of course zombies are slow. And they’re coming right for you as we speak. The only way to defeat them is to prepare now! The best way to begin your preparations is to read the [Zombie Survival Guide](http://www.randomhouse.com/crown/zombiesurvivalguide/). It’s full of practical advice. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/33 "2004-03-19T23:23:01Z")
Obviously the people to ask would have been the appropriate [Federal Agency](http://www.fvza.org/index.html), but since it was wound up in 1975, any information on [Zombie velocity](http://www.fvza.org/askdrp.html) coming from it today has to be suspect :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/34 "2004-03-19T23:37:58Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > I just wish we could call these creatures something else and reserve “zombie” for the mindless automaton – kind of like the way science fiction writers tend to call the most humanlike artificial humans “androids” instead of “robots”. Zombie is a great metaphor and I hate to see it diluted. I’ve heard “Revenant” used, occasionally. Though it has some connotations of it’s own that might make it unusable as a new term for “überzombies.” ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/35 "2004-03-19T23:59:18Z")
Silly filmmakers. Everybody knows that Zombies always forfeit initiative in a combat round. Unless the DM sneaks a Juju Zombie or two in on ya… ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/36 "2004-03-20T00:14:46Z")
Or the dreaded zombie warrior. Maybe the _Black Pearl_ zombies were zombie warriors, or some kind of lich or death knight from Fiend Folio…whoops, scuse a sec, I spilled some nerd on my keyboard. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/37 "2004-03-20T00:45:50Z")
The speed of zombies is explained in the extras on **House of the Dead**. The newer the bodies are…the faster they are. The older the bodies are the slower they they are. I guess it’s all in how usable the muscles are. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/38 "2004-03-20T01:19:03Z")
Please, they prefer to be called the living impaired. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/39 "2004-03-20T01:53:26Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > Fast and slow zombies are really beside the point because what most folks fail to grasp is that Romero’s zombie movies are not really about the zombies at all. The central conflict in Romero’s films is humans against humans, when people are destroyed by their own fear and greed. It’s definitely true that Romero was after something more than the typical gore flick. However, I don’t think the speed of the zombies is beside the point. I think the slow zombie is _integral_ to Romero’s intentions. If you’ve got sprinting zombies, then survival — or at least the facade of an attempt at survival — is about moving fast ahead of a quickly-moving threat. It’s instinctive, really; the necessary reaction is the same regardless of individual character. But if you’ve got slow zombies, then you have the luxury — or at least the facade of luxury — to stop for a moment to think about what you want to do. You can strategize, you can plan, you can consider alternatives: and the alternatives someone evaluates, rejects, and prefers will tell the audience everything about a given character. Sure, he’ll probably end up running away, and ultimately getting eaten because there are just so damn _many_ of the things, but at least there is the opportunity to contemplate options. Remember in the original _DotD_ how the biker guys thought it was amusing to run circles around the slow zombies, killing them at their leisure? That would have been impossible with fast zombies. In a very real sense, the slow zombie allows the people to truly show themselves for who they are, which is central to Romero’s themes. So it depends on what kind of movie you’re making. If you just want a suspenseful horror/action flick with disposal humans serving as little more than zombie chow, fast zombies fit the bill. If you want to focus on the human element and explore some real ideas, slow zombies are more appropriate, sez I. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/40 "2004-03-20T02:33:18Z")
> [@](#): > > So it depends on what kind of movie you’re making. If you just want a suspenseful horror/action flick with disposal humans serving as little more than zombie chow, fast zombies fit the bill. If you want to focus on the human element and explore some real ideas, slow zombies are more appropriate, sez I. I hadn’t thought about it that way, you’re absolutely right. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155.md?page=3)