# Zombies: Fast or Slow? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 19, 2004, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155 "2004-03-19T05:06:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/61 "2004-03-20T13:58:10Z")
> [@racinchikki](#): > > There are two Zombie Behaviour Paradigms: Fast and Slow. Oh, slow. No doubt about it. The Zombie’s earliest stuff was pretty standard rock…but when they got into their slower phase (“She’s Not There”, “Brief Candles”, “A Rose for Emily”, “Time of the Season”, “Beechwood Park”–hell, the entire **Odyssey and Oracle** album\*) they achieved a magic of near-Beatles level perfection. What? “The Zombies”. That’s what this thread is about, right? Right?? Oh. Nevermind. 😃 Fenris \*Kidding aside, if you’ve never heard that album, it’s one of the best albums of the '60s. ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/62 "2004-03-20T14:39:09Z")
> [@Johnny Angel](#): > > When I saw the preview to the new Dawn of the Dead, I felt betrayed. I felt that there had been an implied contract. Zombies were extremely dangerous, but they were slow. But now it seems that they’re not only fast, they’re all goddamned ninjas. Is this the kind of world we want our children to grow up in? A world full of zombie ninjas? If I wasn’t so busy crapping my pants, I’d be vomiting with rage. See, what you need is [Shaun Of The Dead](http://www.uip.co.uk/romzom/), the beautifully timed, ultraviolent British comedy version (see the trailer, far right-hand-side of the mock pub scene). And the zombies are slow in it. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/63 "2004-03-20T16:24:31Z")
Man, I don’t know which is worse… fast zombies, or imagining someone simultaneously crapping his pants and vomiting with rage. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/64 "2004-03-20T16:45:43Z")
> [@Diane](#): > > HOLY SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! > > OMG GOD, the timing could NOT have been any worse! HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP > > I swear to hell this just happened. If you don’t believe me, I will mail you my poopy underpants. I’ll have to pass this time Diane, the Christmas card was good enough. If yer nerves aren’t still frazzled, check out [The Exorcist in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies](http://www.angryalien.com/0204/exorcistbunnies.html), it’s toooo scary. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/65 "2004-03-20T17:17:10Z")
> [@Eternal](#): > > Day of the Dead was scantly more a gore-fest than Night. > > As for **Diane** ’s story, the only thing I found weird is that she’s allowing her pubescent scaredy-cat son to sleep in her bed. You should see this other zombie movie, **Burial Ground.** That might scare him out. I had to check out that movie on [imdb.com](http://imdb.com). Holy crap, if the blood and gore wasn’t enough. WTF? "Now, I can handle a lot of blood, gore, guts and God knows what other kind of filth but…what the hell was up with that kid?? All of a sudden, they throw in this extra topic about incest. A very irritating (and goofy-looking) kid with a serious Oedipus complex!?! " Actually, he decided sleeping in his own bed was a lot less scarier than mom’s room. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/66 "2004-03-20T17:19:06Z")
Awwww, cute soup spitting bunnies. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/67 "2004-03-20T18:59:14Z")
Faster Zombie! Kill! Kill! I’ll let myself out… ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/68 "2004-03-20T22:24:37Z")
Then of course there are the zombees. They fly pretty quickly. Brainzzzz! Brainzzzzzzz! ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155/69 "2004-03-20T22:25:12Z")
I just saw the new movie, and it reinforced my preference for slow zombies. The fast ones seemed more like wild animals; when they attacked they were a faceless mob. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombies-fast-or-slow/235155.md?page=3)