Zombies: Fast or Slow?

[Fenris]

@racinchikki

There are two Zombie Behaviour Paradigms: Fast and Slow.

Oh, slow. No doubt about it.

The Zombie’s earliest stuff was pretty standard rock…but when they got into their slower phase (“She’s Not There”, “Brief Candles”, “A Rose for Emily”, “Time of the Season”, “Beechwood Park”–hell, the entire Odyssey and Oracle album*) they achieved a magic of near-Beatles level perfection.

What?

“The Zombies”. That’s what this thread is about, right? Right??

Oh.

Nevermind.

Fenris

*Kidding aside, if you’ve never heard that album, it’s one of the best albums of the '60s.

[Crusoe]

@Johnny Angel

When I saw the preview to the new Dawn of the Dead, I felt betrayed. I felt that there had been an implied contract. Zombies were extremely dangerous, but they were slow. But now it seems that they’re not only fast, they’re all goddamned ninjas. Is this the kind of world we want our children to grow up in? A world full of zombie ninjas? If I wasn’t so busy crapping my pants, I’d be vomiting with rage.

See, what you need is Shaun Of The Dead, the beautifully timed, ultraviolent British comedy version (see the trailer, far right-hand-side of the mock pub scene). And the zombies are slow in it.

[Master_Wang-Ka]

Man, I don’t know which is worse… fast zombies, or imagining someone simultaneously crapping his pants and vomiting with rage.

[imthjckaz]

@Diane

HOLY SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!

OMG GOD, the timing could NOT have been any worse! HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

I swear to hell this just happened. If you don’t believe me, I will mail you my poopy underpants.

I’ll have to pass this time Diane, the Christmas card was good enough.

If yer nerves aren’t still frazzled, check out The Exorcist in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies, it’s toooo scary.

[Diane]

@Eternal

Day of the Dead was scantly more a gore-fest than Night.

As for Diane’s story, the only thing I found weird is that she’s allowing her pubescent scaredy-cat son to sleep in her bed. You should see this other zombie movie, Burial Ground. That might scare him out.

I had to check out that movie on imdb.com. Holy crap, if the blood and gore wasn’t enough. WTF?

"Now, I can handle a lot of blood, gore, guts and God knows what other kind of filth but…what the hell was up with that kid?? All of a sudden, they throw in this extra topic about incest. A very irritating (and goofy-looking) kid with a serious Oedipus complex!?! "
Actually, he decided sleeping in his own bed was a lot less scarier than mom’s room.

[Diane]

Awwww, cute soup spitting bunnies.

[Mr.Miskatonic]

Faster Zombie! Kill! Kill!

I’ll let myself out…

[racinchikki]

Then of course there are the zombees. They fly pretty quickly.

Brainzzzz! Brainzzzzzzz!

[Baldwin]

I just saw the new movie, and it reinforced my preference for slow zombies. The fast ones seemed more like wild animals; when they attacked they were a faceless mob.