# Zombipocalypse test- with poll! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 13, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592 "2011-08-13T18:09:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/1 "2011-08-13T18:09:57Z")
First, here’s a link to the test: > **[The Ultimate Zombie Apocalypse Survival Quiz](https://zomboid.com/zombie/)** > > The original Ultimate Zombie Apocalypse Quiz, version 2.0 I got just shy of 86. I don’t have to be perfect; I just have to hang out with people who scored below 85. 😃 Now the debate. On the last page you’ll find a question involving a basement, a horde of zombies, and three weapons. This question has caused much arguing, late into the night, amongst my nearest and dearest. What say you, Dopers? Please justify your response, in case someone comes up with an argument we haven’t considered. I’ll spoiler my answer: I picked the chainsaw. Yes, the can is rusty but that doesn’t mean the gas is bad. I didn’t want the pipe because you can really only deal with one zombie at a time, and I didn’t think that was a good idea in close quarters. Didn’t want the gun cause it’s clearly described as old, and I didn’t want to be stuck in the corner of the basement. At least with the chainsaw, you can retreat if need be. ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/2 "2011-08-13T18:42:01Z")
First off, my score was 44.72%, so I’m a goner, when the ZA drops. I chose the chainsaw. It can cause the most damage at the longest distance with the least need for accuracy in aiming. Suppose the spark plugs are fouled or the gas is bad? It would be easy to find out quickly and then move on to the long gun. But remember that I scored only 44.72%, so I’m just talking through my hat. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/3 "2011-08-13T18:45:53Z")
65%. I too picked the secret weapon listed in the spoiler. I thought it was the pretty clear choice for a small room. I guess I’m going to have to sign up for zombie defense classes. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/4 "2011-08-13T18:49:06Z")
Well shit…I though I’d done pretty well but I only got 68 percent. I chose the chainsaw and the gas…I’m a smoker and always have a lighter on hand. Lighter + gas = potential for flamethrowing or immolation of zombies. The chainsaw is an extra weapon. (I own a chainsaw, dammit…I should have got extra points for that!) ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/5 "2011-08-13T20:05:29Z")
79 point something. Bring 'em on! ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/6 "2011-08-13T20:15:38Z")
72.7 I like the pipe. I’m hoping for Walking Dead type zombies…crush a head and move on. Pipe is quick with a fast recovery, light so that I won’t tire using it, and no ammo concerns. Range is an issue though. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/7 "2011-08-13T20:18:37Z")
65.6 I picked the same weapon as the op as the choice says ‘fire it up’. So you know it works before you start. the gas is to set them on fire, I thought ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/8 "2011-08-13T20:21:36Z")
53.4403669724771% Since that is a higher degree of decimal precision than can be accounted for by the human population of the known universe, I am curious as to how it was arrived at. Oh, and it was nice knowing you, **Toucanna**. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/9 "2011-08-13T20:28:33Z")
I scored 47%, making me the second person to die in the zombie movie made out of this thread. For the weapon question, I chose the gun. Despite its portrayal in popular culture, I’m not convinced of the reliability of a chainsaw as a melee weapon. And I don’t think I have the upper body strength to really make a go of the pipe. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/10 "2011-08-13T20:31:28Z")
Of course, Hollywood Physics are different from real world physics, and gasoline is harder to light successfully than films make it seem. Mythbusters busted this once, so all you might end up with are a bunch of pissed off zombies who smell like petrol. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/11 "2011-08-13T20:39:41Z")
75.9% so I guess ill be in the survivor group in this group. I also went with the chainsaw. It will make putting down multiple zombies easy and you can get a lot of continual use out of it as opposed to reloading the rifle or getting tired beating on multiple zombies. I think I would take a smaller fuel load though to create a wall of flame for them to walk through first and then chop up their flaming bodies as necessary. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/12 "2011-08-13T20:42:26Z")
70.12, mainly because I’m a lard-ass. A very well-armed and trained lard-ass, mind you. But a lard-ass nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![Chimi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/73ab20/32.png) [@Chimi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimi)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/13 "2011-08-13T20:51:04Z")
Pipe, all the way! You’re in a basement, you don’t want a noisy motor or loud rifle, that’ll draw all the ones in the house, and maybe even outside, down on you! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/14 "2011-08-13T20:51:26Z")
Anyone who said they’d grab the gas can to fight the zombies, your survival percentage just dropped to “zero.” Even assuming you can light them on fire in the first place, as **John DiFool** pointed out, zombies don’t care if they’re on fire. They don’t feel pain. Being engulfed in flames isn’t going to slow them down or alter their basic “eat brains” motivation. And it takes a while for a human body to get burned up: given the amount of rot and soft tissue damage a zombie can sustain while still being mobile, you’re basically going to need to burn them down to a skeleton before they’ll stop. All the while, they’re still going to be attacking you, except they’re on fire now. Also, you’re in a basement, and the flaming zombies are between you and the door. You’re done. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/15 "2011-08-13T20:55:13Z")
I love all you guys. Even though you won’t last long. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/16 "2011-08-13T21:07:48Z")
81% I also went with the spoiler weapon. ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/17 "2011-08-13T21:26:52Z")
77.5% I guess 3 1/2 years in the Marines might pay off yet. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/18 "2011-08-13T21:30:26Z")
73%, and I went with the pipe. I figured that you don’t know for sure that the zombie you hear is the only one up there- and the pipe would be the quietest weapon. The absolute worst thing to do in a zombie invasion is to attract attention. ---
**Author:** ![feppytweed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/feppytweed/32/4280_2.png) [@feppytweed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/feppytweed)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/19 "2011-08-13T21:46:09Z")
%84.6330275229358! I picked the rifle and ammo for the ambush; The chainsaw might take a while to fire up and is heavy/awkward as far as weapons go. I have plenty of camping/fire-building experience, and I am resourceful. I also have a good many firearms on hand. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592/20 "2011-08-13T21:53:57Z")
I went with the gun. Putting yourself within melee range just makes it easier for them to infect you, either by biting or by blood splatter. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zombipocalypse-test-with-poll/592592.md?page=2)