# ZPG Zealot: A troll too far **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 14, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621 "2011-01-14T17:55:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/1 "2011-01-14T17:55:40Z")
I’ll admit that I bought it for quite some time. I swallowed that you could believe in infanticide, forced abortion, handshake rape, and killing pregnant women and children lest they “steal” money via child support.\* I swallowed those things because they are nutty, stupid, and extreme, but somehow still something that a nutty, stupid, and extreme person might believe. Until today, and these gems: > [@](#): > > [As my grandparents firmly believed that illegitimate children were destined to become vampires, abortion would have been the only option. ]([http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13353753&postcount=51](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13353753&postcount=51)) [ > [@](#): > > Hell, no I don’t support the current [child support] system, it’s positively vile for you to even suggest that. On par with suggesting I support ethnic cleansing or the 9/11 bombings (yeah, that’s how disgusting I consider child support for unwanted children to be.) ]([http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13354029&postcount=733](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13354029&postcount=733)) Bitch, you are just making shit up. I expect half of the respondents to say they already knew that, and I’ll admit I was naive for not getting it before. (I also just found out that gullible is in the dictionary. Who knew?) In any case, I shouldn’t be pitting you. I should be thanking you for turning out to be just a random liar and troll rather than the sociopathic monster you appeared to be before. But I fell for it, so now I’m all bitter and stuff. \*Cites available upon request once I get to a computer with an internet connection that isn’t the equivalent of Morse code sent via coconut, though if you missed these gems you should just consider yourself blessed by some deity, you lucky bastard (therefore vampire). ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/2 "2011-01-14T17:57:49Z")
I think I really need to start a band called “Handshake Rape.” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/3 "2011-01-14T18:01:54Z")
Or “Vampire Bastards”. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/4 "2011-01-14T18:02:53Z")
I can’t speak to ZPG Zealot’s sincerity, but I can tell you that it is or was a real belief that illegitimate children would become vampires. So it isn’t unbelievable that her grandparents would believe that. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/5 "2011-01-14T18:10:00Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > I can’t speak to ZPG Zealot’s sincerity, but I can tell you that it is or was a real belief that illegitimate children would become vampires. So it isn’t unbelievable that her grandparents would believe that. Well, maybe if they received child support, they wouldn’t need to suck blood! (Really? Vampire bastards? REALLY? I think I was happier not knowing that she could be sincere.) ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/6 "2011-01-14T18:13:49Z")
Handshake rape? What’s that? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/7 "2011-01-14T18:17:24Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > (Really? Vampire bastards? REALLY? I think I was happier not knowing that she could be sincere.) There are all sorts of vampire legends out there. Remind me sometime to tell you about the Serbian vampire watermelons. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/8 "2011-01-14T18:20:48Z")
> [@Trion](#): > > Handshake rape? What’s that? Start [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12949046&postcount=46), and one day you may begin to understand. ---
**Author:** ![3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/47e85d/32.png) [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/9 "2011-01-14T18:25:30Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > Start [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12949046&postcount=46), and one day you may begin to understand. Wow. Just…wow. So, let’s see, I’ve shaken hands with, what, maybe 300, 400, I don’t know, 1000 women if my lifetime. And as far as I can recall, I haven’t raped a single one of them. Pitting endorsed. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/10 "2011-01-14T18:25:46Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > There are all sorts of vampire legends out there. Remind me sometime to tell you about the Serbian vampire watermelons. Well, see, that makes perfect sense, since watermelons are obviously evil. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/11 "2011-01-14T18:25:51Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > I can’t speak to ZPG Zealot’s sincerity, but I can tell you that it is or was a real belief that illegitimate children would become vampires. So it isn’t unbelievable that her grandparents would believe that. The only cites I can find are illegitimate children \*of illegitimate children \*become Romanian vampires. I weigh that explanation against the explanation that **ZPG Zealot** is yanking chains. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/12 "2011-01-14T18:27:06Z")
I can’t begin to tell you how proud I am to have elicited the “so vile it’s like saying I support 9/11” comment. ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/13 "2011-01-14T18:28:00Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > Start [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12949046&postcount=46), and one day you may begin to understand. I think I’ll just embrace my ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/14 "2011-01-14T18:28:04Z")
Yeah, I know I’m gonna get flamed for this, but your two examples are not all that bad. The grandparents probably didn’t really believe that bastards must become vampires, but used that story to make sure their kids didn’t create any. And putting child support for unwanted children on par with 9/11 is hyperbole but could easily be merely an exaggeration to show how much she really hates it. Now, the rest of those sound pretty bad on the surface, but if your examples are equally as weak, **ZPG Zealot** probably isn’t actually a troll. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/15 "2011-01-14T18:28:46Z")
Well, it’s not too bad if you are bat shit crazy. If you are in any way sane, it seems pretty out there. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/16 "2011-01-14T18:29:04Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > Start [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12949046&postcount=46), and one day you may begin to understand. Actually, I’d say it starts [just a few posts further up](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12948535#post12948535), at #39. The whole thing was prompted by her saying, “One thing I’ve noticed rumors of rapes and sexual violence always surface about the ones that stick out their hands automatically to women versus the men who wait for a women to offer contact.” ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/17 "2011-01-14T18:34:40Z")
> [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](#): > > Wow. Just…wow. > > So, let’s see, I’ve shaken hands with, what, maybe 300, 400, I don’t know, 1000 women if my lifetime. And as far as I can recall, I haven’t raped a single one of them. > > Pitting endorsed. No, no, don’t you understand? You’ve raped them _just by shaking hands with them_! \*\*Shot From Guns \*\*- on further reflection, I have to agree with you. I waffled between those two posts as to which one more clearly identified handshaking with sexual violence. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/18 "2011-01-14T18:40:11Z")
Really, the \*whole thread \*is just comedy gold once she starts spouting off her crazy bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/19 "2011-01-14T18:41:08Z")
> [@villa](#): > > Well, it’s not too bad if you are bat shit crazy. If you are in any way sane, it seems pretty out there. If that is in response to my post, you make no sense. Ergo - bat shit crazy. ---
**Author:** ![3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/47e85d/32.png) [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/20 "2011-01-14T18:45:23Z")
[quote=“cwthree, post:17, topic:567621”] No, no, don’t you understand? You’ve raped them _just by shaking hands with them_! Um…sorry? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621.md?page=2)