# ZPG Zealot: A troll too far **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 14, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621 "2011-01-14T17:55:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/181 "2011-01-15T01:25:39Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > For the record any kind of forced touching not related to law inforcment or life-saving acts is considered assault in the United States. Firstly, you mean battery (at least at common law), and secondly, you’re wrong. Harmful of offensive intentional contact as that would be understood by a reasonable person is battery. Touching that a reasonable person would not consider harmful or offensive is not. Contact incidental to day to day life, like touching your hand, patting your shoulder, or jostling you on the subway, is not battery. If you try to report the next man who touches your hand to the police you will be very surprised and disappointed. Intentionally killing a pregnant woman is still murder, however, and there is no legally recognized defense of “she was suing me for child support.” ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/182 "2011-01-15T01:26:10Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I was not a prostitute, but they were treating me like one. It was highly insulting. I’m going to try one last time to explain this, hope springs eternal and all. In the US, as well as much of the rest of the world, offering your hand to a person is not treating that person like a prostitute. At least not unless your hand is full of money and you’re offering them that money to have sex with you. > [@](#): > > In retrospect, I sometimes wish I had stabbed some of those men, but the past cannot undone. I fight so that other young women do not have to face that humiliation. In retrospect, I wish you hadn’t eaten all those lead paint chips as a child. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/183 "2011-01-15T01:31:18Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > Ok, your’e overplaying your hand now, ZPG…I’m starting to think the OP was right. The OP is only occasionally right, but this is one of those times. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/184 "2011-01-15T01:32:53Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Why do you think I was so offended by the gesture? I was not a prostitute, but they were treating me like one. It was highly insulting. That’s why the gesture is so disgusting. You can be a perfectly respectable woman but some asshole comes around sticking out his dirty hand and someone can see it and wonder if you are for sale. It simply not right. In retrospect, I sometimes wish I had stabbed some of those men, but the past cannot undone. I fight so that other young women do not have to face that humiliation. Yep, you’re insane. Do me a favor, doll - don’t fight for me. I can fight my own battles, and they have nothing to do with whether or not I want to shake hands. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/185 "2011-01-15T01:33:33Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > But you haven’t died yet though have you. so we don’t know if you will rise from the grave to suck the blood of the living? Unless of course, you have dead which means for you to be typing on this message board you are at least a revenant (someone who has returned from the dead), so you could be well on your way to being a vampire. But seriouisly, the real problem with illegitimacy isn’t metaphysical, but the impact of unwanted, unplanned children on society. Nurse! Runaway on aisle three! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/186 "2011-01-15T01:34:43Z")
You know thinking back, at graduation the Dean and President of the college shook every graduating student’s hand. _Every single one_. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/187 "2011-01-15T01:36:29Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Why do you think I was so offended by the gesture? I was not a prostitute, but they were treating me like one. It was highly insulting. That’s why the gesture is so disgusting. You can be a perfectly respectable woman but some asshole comes around sticking out his dirty hand and someone can see it and wonder if you are for sale. It simply not right. In retrospect, I sometimes wish I had stabbed some of those men, but the past cannot undone. I fight so that other young women do not have to face that humiliation. Ok, but what I don’t get is how someone else’s action reflect on you. ASSUMING that more people than just you think that offering a handshake is calling the other person a whore how does that translate into everyone else thinking you’re a whore. Why don’t they think the other person is a boor for insulting you like that? Anyway Miss Manners says that except for certain situations the woman determines whether handshaking is called for, so point to you, I guess. Sorta. BUT it’s even ruder to ignore an extended hand, even if they were incorrect to offer it. So you’re a rude crank. And I would rather be a whore than rude. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/188 "2011-01-15T01:36:59Z")
Fucking campus cops, in the Dean’s pocket. Why else wouldn’t they intervene in such a blatant case of serial assault? ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/189 "2011-01-15T01:39:20Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > You know thinking back, at graduation the Dean and President of the college shook every graduating student’s hand. _Every single one_. Wait, they never caught the campus rapist…the two unidentified suspects…oh my God, it all makes sense now! How fast can you drive, man? _How fast can you drive?!?_ ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/190 "2011-01-15T01:42:35Z")
Just realized something. I started a new internship today and I got taken around to meet and shake hands with some of the people working there. Yeah. If anyone needs me, I’ll be alternating between scrubbing my hand and crying in the bathroom and rocking back and forth in a fetal position on the floor of my bedroom… ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/191 "2011-01-15T01:44:17Z")
I once shook 500 hands in a single day. You can buy the video for just $19.99, with your paid subscription to my website. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/192 "2011-01-15T01:44:38Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Just realized something. I started a new internship today and I got taken around to meet and shake hands with some of the people working there. Yeah. If anyone needs me, I’ll be alternating between scrubbing my hand and crying in the bathroom and rocking back and forth in a fetal position on the floor of my bedroom… Wow, what’s it like to be a WHORE? ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/193 "2011-01-15T01:49:36Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > I once shook 500 hands in a single day. You can buy the video for just $19.99, with your paid subscription to my website. Any _triple_ handshakes in it? 'cause if so, I’m on it like white on rice! ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/194 "2011-01-15T01:49:57Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > In the epic abortion and child support thread, she says she’s in favor of consequence-free casual sex. > > So, you can’t let men offer to shake your hand lest they think you are a loose woman, but you can have sex with them. You simply don’t have the ability to do basic crictical thinking do you, hon? Maybe somebody slipped you some LSD during all that hand shaking. The dividing line is choice. A woman can be completely celibate or she can sleep with ever guy in town as long as that is what she chooses, not what she has been compelled to do by some one else. It’s a very simple principle. A woman’s body and her sexuality are hers alone and she can use them anyway she wishes as long as she doesn’t violate someone else’s rights. (i..e. the right to swing her fist ends where someone else’s nose begins). She can have sex with any willing (so Dio doesn’t get upset I’ll add of legal age here) partner, but she can’t rape somebody else. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/195 "2011-01-15T01:52:13Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Do you have any ability to reason about cultures and manner beyond the blue collar straight jacket? I spoke politely, I didn’t let them touch me. At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do. Since then I’ve learned that if you give bigots and bullies an inch they will try to take a foot. Bigots and bullies? For shaking your hand? Is there something else involved here? Are you perhaps a germophobe? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/196 "2011-01-15T01:53:07Z")
So why are you so against a man’s choice to offer you his hand, so long as you retain your choice to refuse it? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/197 "2011-01-15T01:54:51Z")
> [@RedFury](#): > > Any _triple_ handshakes in it? 'cause if so, I’m on it like white on rice! What kind of anatomical anomaly do you think I am, ya perv? :eek: I only have two hands. For the sake of time, some of them had to take a foot. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/198 "2011-01-15T01:58:10Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > I once shook 500 hands in a single day. You can buy the video for just $19.99, with your paid subscription to my website. Did you wear a glove? ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/199 "2011-01-15T01:59:39Z")
> [@RedFury](#): > > Any _triple_ handshakes in it? 'cause if so, I’m on it like white on rice! [Check out _these_ perverts](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WT-fxBNKs8)! (warning: possibly NSFW) ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621/200 "2011-01-15T02:00:29Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > A woman’s body and her sexuality are hers alone and she can use them anyway she wishes as long as she doesn’t violate someone else’s rights. Sure. And we reserve the right call her a whore if she’s blowing guys left and right or giving out, er… “hand-jobs”… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/zpg-zealot-a-troll-too-far/567621.md?page=11)