My Professor made fun of my name and almost made me cry

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I share a name with a rather imfamous woman.

And I dread starting new classes. Everytime my name comes up on the roll sheet for the first time, my heart beats in terror. I wonder if they are going to comment or not. Usually they will say something along the lines of “well that is a famous name” and go on their way. That, I can handle. It’s unpleasent, and usually leads to me blushing and being somewhat uncomfortable for a while, but still that I can handle.

Today I started a class with a professor that came highly recommended. I’d gotten away without comments in all my other classes, so I guess my guard was down a bit. The thing I have feared most happen.

She calls my name. I raise my hand, somewhat meekly, and say “here”, just like everybody else.

She doesn’t react, she just stares.

I say “here” again, a bit louder, thinking that she hadn’t heard me.

There are a few giggles from the class. I am hoping with everything I have that she checks my name and moves on down the list.

She looks at me for a few more tense moments, and then asks “are you the *****”

As I am trying to say “no”, the entire class roars in laughter. A packed full lecture hall. Hundreds of people. She laughs loudest of all. It is everynightmare I have ever had. They all really were laughing at me.

My face turns red. I want to disappear. I’ve been dealing with a bout of depression lately. I’m on edge already. Tears spring to my eyes. I’m a grown woman I am about to cry in front of my friends and collegues. I don’t know how I managed to stop myself.

Oh god! It was terrible. I never thought I’d face this kind of humiliation as an adult.

2

File a complaint. You’re an adult woman in a professional educational situation, and you do not have to deal with that level of immaturity from the faculty.

3

I agree, you should file a complaint, or at least let her know that it upset you. If you don’t want to tell her youself (shyness or whatever) maybe you could get a friend to do it. In the mean time [Big Scary Voice] You want I shoud go beat her up?[/Big Scary Voice]

4

I third the suggestion to file a complaint.

No one is that position should ever behave that way. It was not only unprofessional and sad on her part (I think it speaks volumes about her personality that she acted that way, even if you had been “the *****”), but it is also a form of psychological abuse according to my understanding of the term.

I wouldn’t talk to her at all. I would make an appointment and then go straight to the administration and hand deliver a written complaint.

5

It’s true that sometimes people just happen to have the same name as a celebrity or (in)famous person. Usually, it might not be so much of a problem, but in your case, it seems to have been made worse by that professor. I have lots of examples in my books here, but I digress. You should definitely file a complaint! It was unprofessional for the professor to act that way! Even if you had been the *****, what difference should it have made? Run, don’t walk, to the administrative office and file your complaint, and do it ASAP!

6

It’s true that sometimes people just happen to have the same name as a celebrity or (in)famous person. Usually, it might not be so much of a problem, but in your case, it seems to have been made worse by that professor. I have lots of examples in my books here, but I digress. You should definitely file a complaint! It was unprofessional for the professor to act that way! Even if youhad been the *****, what difference should it have made? Run, don’t walk, to the administrative office and file your complaint, and do it ASAP!

7

Poor Sven. Perhaps I can help. I have the same name as the famous twinkie murderer, Dan White. I’m from the same geographic area, and fortunately most people do not know, we have a similar look. (He has been dead since 85 by CO poisoning by his own hand.) Ever since he went on his rampage in 78, I have had to put up with endless jokes. Only about 2 of them are funny.

What you need is a witty comeback. The situation you mention must be somewhat common, and there are two that come to mind that you can use at any time. I know you are somewhat shy, but they are giving you what comedians call a straight line that you can deliver a punch line to at their expense. It is permission.

Example 1:

Q: So, your name is Tonya Harding, are you the famous bitch?

A: No and F*** Y**

Deliver it matter of factly, deadpan.

Example 2:

Q: So, your name is Tonya Harding, are you the famous bitch?

A: Yes, what of it?

Example 3:

Q: So, your name is Tonya Harding, are you the famous bitch?

A: Smile when you say that you dumb M***** F*****. (Dan White shot his first victim for similing at him at the wrong moment.)

Example 4:

Q: So, your name is Tonya Harding, are you the famous bitch?

A: Who? Never heard of her.

Example 5:

Q: So, your name is Tonya Harding, you must get teased a lot about sharing a famous name.

A: No, as a matter of fact you are the first.

(I love this last one over the phone, because I deliver it deadpan and they can’t see how I’m busting up while they are turning beat red. When they start apologizing profusely, I say, “naw, I’m just kidding, I get it all the time, but I love to yank people’s chains.”)

Now I also used to practice law with a fellow named Jim Jones, and this is the name of the nut who offed 900 plus people in Guyana with cyanide koolaid. Jim never had much of a sense of humor about his name. He would just ignore it, or straight out say “that’s not funny”.

8

Matt et al. are correct. File a complaint. This was egregious, unprofessional behavior at any level, and was humiliating to you.

You would have understood if the professor had raised eyebrows or made a mild comment. It’s almost inevitable, and you said you would have understood it.

But the professor’s reaction gave a signal to the class that it was okay to make fun of you. She was condoning it and encouraging it.

While I would recommend you try to grow a thicker skin or else change your name, since this really bothers you and is going to dog you all your life, that decision is yours. It was your professor’s decision to behave in a derisive manner in class to one of her students.

You are justified in filing a complaint.

9

C’mon, out with it! What’s your name?
Imelda Marcos?
Heidi Fleiss?
Monica Lewinsky?
Lizzie Borden?

Okay, I’m just joshin’ ya.

I agree that you should file a complaint. That is completely unacceptable. She was obviously just going for a cheap laugh at your expense.

10

I had a similar problem but with my name, it was the pronunciation. My first year in college was the WORST, with professors trying to pronounce it, then again, then “Why don’t you tell us how to pronounce it”, then having the class giggle and laugh.

It was horrific. I eventually, much to my regret, changed my name and Anglicized it. Before that, though, I found going to the professor’s office BEFORE the first class, introducing myself and telling her/him that I am sensitive about this issue helped. Luckily, I changed it before the Persian Gulf “crisis” because that would’ve been a nightmare with my original name.

I agree, you should make a complaint, but I think you should first tell the professor directly, and inform him/her that you are writing a formal complaint to the Dean or whomever handles this sort of thing.

11

Hypatia? Is that you?

Yet another vote for filing an official complaint with the Dean.

As a former teacher, I have dealt with over 1000 students, some with very “interesting” names. I knew that it was completely unprofessional to make any snide comment. Too bad your prof isn’t this wise.

Another option to add to DPWhite’s list… As I read your post and got to the point where she asked if you were the *****. I said to myself, “I hope she just stood up, shot the prof a dirty look and walked out of the class and directly to the registration office.” Perhaps this can be a possible future mechanism. Just shoot the “that’s not funny” look in true Betty Davis fashion and walk out. You can walk back in at the next class if you wish.

Still, file a complaint.

12

Perhaps you could talk with the professor about it, and encourage her to apologize to you in front of the entire class.

If she doesn’t cooperate, then document the request and talk to her supervisor.

I’m sorry you had to deal with the humiliation.
But…
People are going to make fun of your name, whether your or I or anyone here likes it or not. Please do yourself a favor and come up with a way to deal with it when it does happen.

I like DPWhite’s first suggestion. “No, and F*** You.”

Lovely. A bit vicious, but lovely.

13

Eva Braun?
Jennifer Flowers?
Squeaky Fromme?
Linda Lovelace?
Morgana the Kissing Bandit?

This is going to bug me, but I guess I’ll just have to live with it.

I also agree that the prof was, indeed, very wrong. Depending on how pissed off you are, either mention it to her (with a dead serious look on your face) or send a note to the dean.

14

Hillary Clinton?

OOOHH! That is low.

15

At least tell us what the fake you is infamous for!

A murderess?

A traitor?

A prostitute?

A lawyer?

As for the professor I would kill her pets. But then again I’m emotionally unbalanced so you may not want to try that. YMMV So I guess talking to her or to the department head would be the ‘best’ course. College is stressful enough so the faculty so do everything possible to make life easier for you. Heck I think they sould just give you an A and never make you attend class again.

16

I would talk to the professor first. They’re professors, but sometimes they’re also people, too. I’d go to him in his office hours and say,

“Sir, I know you really didn’t mean anything by it, but I’m very sensitive about my name and I didn’t appreciate being made fun of in front of the class. For me, this compromised the professional atmosphere of the classroom.”

I wouldn’t demand an apology, though he might offer one. If he continues to be a jerk, then I’d report him.

17

I second the talk to the prof privately. I’m way out of touch with the University system, but filing a grievance seems to be a bit over the top. Conceiveably that could mess up someone’s career. Make your point known in person or in writing to the Prof first, and then you can always file the grievance if the Prof has a jerk reaction to being called on the carpet. Probably add some weight to your grievance if you talk to the Prof first, and feel that he handled a chance to correct a mistake unprofessionally.

18

I go the other direction from most posters: get over it. What, this is the first time anyone has made a joke about your name?

About twenty years ago, I met an elderly lawyer named Donald E. Duck. He was a teenager when Walt Disney created the character. (Can you imagine, being a teenager and suddenly your name is a joke, around the world?) He stuck with it and learned to laugh. You need to do the same… or change your name.

I mean, come on, what the hell is the rest of the world supposed to do? You’ve got a name that is coincidentally the same as that of a famous person. You bloody well better learn to accept that people hearing your name are going to do doubletakes, or smile, or laugh out loud. THEY’RE NOT LAUGHING AT YOU, they’re laughing at your name.

Grow up. Learn to live with it, or change it.

I can see you filing a complaint. “My name is Polly Warner-Cracker, and the teacher laughed when she read it.”

“My name is Ima Goofball, and the professor snickered at me.”

“No, it’s pronounced Arsewipey, with an accent ague over the final e.”

Sorry, with all the real difficulties of gender and racial harrassment that happen in the world, it’s hard for me to get bothered over a name that happens to be humorous.

19

I’m intrigued as hell, sven, as I don’t know your last name, and can’t offhand think of what this would be. But I will chime in with the rest: file a complaint.

20

I see what you’re saying, CK, but the setting that this happened in is what makes it completely inappropriate, in my opinion. It’s one thing to say, “Hi, my name is Monica Lewinsky” (or whatever), and have some people at a party react by laughing. Or the guy at the supermarket checkout. Or any casual situation. But a professor in a college class? I just don’t see what business the prof has making fun of a student’s last name in front of all the other students. Speaking as someone with a difficult-to-pronounce last name, I take enough shit about it on a daily basis from all the other people I encounter in the world; I don’t need to take shit about it from my freaking professors as well. Yeah, the OP probably should learn to just grin and bear it, but she really shouldn’t have to in what somebody else already described accurately as a professional educational situation.