SNL fake commercials

[Rilchiam]

Have they stopped doing them? I mean the ones that always followed the monologue?

[Cartooniverse]

No.

I've shot quite a few over the years, but the ones that stand out are the one with David Spade and the Two Fops where they visit an S&M Sex Club like it's a normal tourist trap in NYC, and the one for Viagra.

The one for genuine horse hoof glue was pretty hilarious too. They're ( almost ) always directed by the same man- James Signorelli. He's directed them since the first year, and written many of the classic commercial spoofs.

They shoot them in waves, and perhaps over the last few weeks, they haven't aired any. Some are prepped with literally a day's notice, others are written and prepped weeks in advance. Typically the spoofs that involve the week's guest host are shot the day before air, and there is a frantic rush of post-production to get them from location to air.

My hands down favorite one featured Julianna Marguilies, who had just left "E.R." at that point. It was a spoof on the entire look of the show, but instead of a human, they had a stuffed animal who had "coded" and was rushed in on a teeny tiny backboard, being bagged the whole time.

She brings it back to life after a few rounds of shocks. The whole thing ran like 90 seconds, and was just hysterical.

Patience, they'll be back on here and there. It's mid-April- at some point very soon, S.N.L. is going to go off for hiatus and you'll get just re-runs anyway, until October.

Cartooniverse

[peepthis]

Can anyone help me identify one of my favorite SNL commercials? It was a car commercial, except the vehicle's "special feature" was that it actually had a vagina where the trunk lock would be. When they showed it "in use," it was blurred out -- hilarious!

After Colon Blow and Happy Fun Ball, it's one of my favorites; but I can't remember what the name of the car was!

[Supersaurus]

I like the one with the Clucking Chicken restaurant, where a cartoon chicken is explaining to children how a chicken is prepared for eating.

[Kallessa]

First season: Garrett Morris, in full Marine dress blues, wandering the streets of New York, shows him stopping to talk with various people, but not what he's saying, voice over on the glories of the corp (I think), ends with Garrett obviously picking up a male prostitute--voice over " The Marines. We're looking for a few good men".


And, of course, "Doggy Downers" and "Puppy Uppers".


I've just dated myself badly, haven't I?

[Fern Forest]

The car one should be here. I've never seen it but I know that it was Will Ferrell that did the car. No one else could ever hope to pull that off.

We haven't had a good SNL commercial thread in awhile. My favorite has always been "Sleepytime Rat Control." Nothing cuter then sleeping rats.

Oh, and watching the classic SNL playing on E! "Pussywhip, the dessert topping for cats."

[DPWhite]

My all time favorite was the Royal Deluxe II care commercial. With a ride so smooth, you could circumsize a baby on a cobblestone street. It was a parody of the Ford LTD commercial where you could cut a diamond on a cobblestone street. My father happended to be walking through the room on the date of first airing. He fell onto the floor laughing.

[Kirkland1244]

I liked the one with Rosanne Barr that parodies those early-90s bank commercials with people in dark rooms talking about how good the service at their bank is.

ROSEANNE (as bank teller): I told him he could take his check roll it up, and stick it up his --

CUT TO:

PHIL HARTMAN (as customer); She gave me several options.

Kirk

[JBERGES]

My favorite will always be "Nerf Crotch Bat".

It’s relatively simple humor; a bunch of people getting hit in the crotch a lot. That’s all there is to it but I find it hilarious.

[peepthis]

Originally posted by Osiris
The car one should be here. I've never seen it but I know that it was Will Ferrell that did the car. No one else could ever hope to pull that off.

I'd also thought it was Will Ferrell, but the link you provided didn't have that commercial on it (it did, however, have the "Lux 420SL," the car for crazy people).

Other suggestions for what the vagina car might have been called?

[Genseric]

The Mercury Mistress

[Genseric]

Oh, and it was Chris Parnell.

[peepthis]

Mercury Mistress, that's it! "The car that handles like a freaky European gymnast!" They didn't include it when they re-ran the episode, so I was starting to think I'd imagined the whole thing.

Thanks, Genseric.

[Morgainelf]

Spud!

[Fern Forest]

COMM Mercury Mistress
Ana Gasteyer .... passenger
Chris Parnell .... motorist
Horatio Sanz .... burglar

So how did Ana and Horatio fit into the commercial?
----------

Schmitts Gay.

[Jeremy's Evil Twin]

Ass Don't Smell

Classic!

[Jeremy's Evil Twin]

Ass Don't Smell

"But...your ass doesn't smell!"
"Exactly!"

[galt]

Three Leg Jeans wasn't hilariously funny but was very well made. It really had the feel of a Levi's commercial.

[Dirty Earthworm]

PETCHOW Brand Rat Poison - it was prinited on the bag that way. Will Ferrell played Mr. Petchow (I can't remember his first name) who was sick of seeing his dogs terrorized by rats, so he came up with his own special recipe for rat poison. He loved his dogs so much, he put their pictures on the bag. Classic!


-Dirty

[Baker]

Wasn't it Dan Ackroyd that did a commercial for a product(forget what it was) called "Painful Rectal Itch" With a name like that it HAS to be good!

[ummm... yeahh...]

Originally posted by JBERGES
My favorite will always be "Nerf Crotch Bat".

ABSOLUTELY!!! "From the makers of the Nerf Crotch Arrow". Anyone know where I can find that? I've tried Kazaa and Share Bear.

[Spoons]

Nobody remembers Dan Aykroyd pitching the Bassomatic? That's always been one of my favourites.

"Mmmm...that's good bass!"

[dropzone]

Robot Insurance, marketed to the elderly who are afraid of everything.

Schmidt's Gay Beer, with Adam Sandler and Chris Farley.

There are 35 on The Best of Saturday Night Live: SNL Goes Commercial.

Aside: What crappy search engine (Amazon's) will ONLY find As Time Goes By tapes to match a search for SNL Goes Commercial?

[scott evil]

1. A classic: Jewess Jeans, starring the inimitable Gilda Radner. Very late-70s. Fantastic. "They're skin tight! They're out of sight!"

2. Handi-Off. Who can forget "I'll meet you at seven?" (Phil Hartman). "Make it five!" (Jan Hooks) And don't forget Toe-Rific!

3. Hi, Opal!

4. Oops, I crapped my pants! "Let's imagne this pitcher of iced tea represents a gallon of your liquid feces." 'nuff said...

- s.e.

[pravnik]

Originally posted by Baker
Wasn't it Dan Ackroyd that did a commercial for a product(forget what it was) called "Painful Rectal Itch" With a name like that it HAS to be good!

It was a take-off on Smucker's jelly: the worse the name, the better the jelly had to be. There was Painful Rectal Itch, Monkey Vomit, Death Camp, etc.

"Let's face it: sprays just cover it up. And who has time for soaking? Step up to the real thing. Step up...to 'Ass Don't Smell'!"

[Dreaming of Maria Callas]

I love the Old Glory robot insurance, where Sam Waterson emphasizes the need for comprehensive coverage for robot attacks in this modern age.

Nerf Crotch Bat is great too, but unfortunately I've never been able to find it on Gnutella.

UnuMondo

[Weird_AL_Einstein]

Originally posted by Dirty Earthworm
PETCHOW Brand Rat Poison - it was prinited on the bag that way. Will Ferrell played Mr. Petchow (I can't remember his first name)

Hank.





Yeah, I'm a geek...

[Chupacabra]

I love the ad for Bad Idea jeans, which I think was a spoof of those Dockers ads where you heard the people talking, but the shot was only from the waist down. The best line from that ad....

"I was going to use a condom, but then I thought, when am I going to be in Haiti again."

[deball]

The recent one with the "retro style" kotex pads was a hoot. The ladies had the huge bulge on their butts, and when they wore shorts half the thing stuck out. Part of that hip retro style!

[pbrtallboy]

one word: McSushi!

[Mullinator]

Just yesterday I was thinking back fondly on John Belushi and little chocolate donuts. I fall down laughing picturing this supposed Olympic athlete eating a bowl of donuts and smoking a cigarette.

[plnnr]

"Try New Shimmer - its a floor wax....and a dessert topping!"

"Quarry Cereal - its better because its mined."

"Swill - Fresh, Bottled Water from the Hudson River"

The champ, for me at least, is still Colon Blow (and Super Colon Blow). When that came on I had just taken a tremendous bong hit and I laughed so hard I threw up. I may never live that one down.

[Mr. Cynical]

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

[Judith Prietht]

Steve Martin's Penis Beauty Cream

Litter Critters--especially the whistle.

[JBERGES]

Originally posted by ummm... yeahh...


ABSOLUTELY!!! "From the makers of the Nerf Crotch Arrow". Anyone know where I can find that? I've tried Kazaa and Share Bear.

iMesh! i just found it on iMesh!

[astorian]

My two all-time favorites (Schmidt's Gay Beer and the Clucking Chicken) have already been done... so I'll cite

1) Will Ferrell's "Dissing Your Dog" (modifying your dog's behavior via sarcasm and insults)

2) Dillon-Edwards financial services. I KNOW the website name was stupid, immature and utterly unfunny. But I cracked up like a 12 year old every time they said it, just the same.

[Weirddave]

Originally posted by scott evil

2. Handi-Off. Who can forget "I'll meet you at seven?" (Phil Hartman). "Make it five!" (Jan Hooks) And don't forget Toe-Rific

Victoria Jackson.

I, for one, loved the fake infomercial with Heather Locklear as the host cheerfully spouting off all kinds of racial slurs while Mike Myers looks horrified and the phone banks start ringing off the hook with complaints.

"You couldn't get it cheaper from a drunken Indian!"

[Sauron]

Originally posted by galt
Three Leg Jeans wasn't hilariously funny but was very well made. It really had the feel of a Levi's commercial.

"Hey, it's not any dumber than acid-washed."

[The Controvert]

When I first saw the Jason X trailer, I thought for sure it had to be an SNL fake commercial.

(for those of you who haven't seen it, there's a link from here: http://www.jasonx.com/index_main.html)

On another tack... which real commercials had you thinking it had to be an SNL fake commercial?

p.s. I kept waiting for Jason to say "Do you know you've been X'ed?"

[elmwood]

Originally posted by JBERGES
My favorite will always be "Nerf Crotch Bat".

One of those with a concept that is so simple, so immature ... but so hilarous.

Along the same lines, more recently there was Kotex Classic.

[postcards]

And no one has yet mentioned the 'First National Bank of Change'?

(How do we make any money? Volume!)

[Agrippina]

Clear Gravy.

[USCDiver]

The Lung Brush

[DeskMonkey]

My all-time favorite is the one for the Bathroom Monkey. I just love when Jeanine Grafalo disposes of the monkey in a trash bag when it's used up. And the one who's sent to clean the shower scrawls "Monkey hate clean" on the tiles.

Uncle Jemima's Malt Liquor comes in a close second. When Aunt Jemima hollers at him for pushing malt liquor, he says "Black folks ain't exactly swellin' up with pride on account o' you flippin' flapjacks." Gets me every time!

[beagledave]

The Love Toilet™

[Thudlow Boink]

Action Cats are awesome!

[Enola Straight]

Gangsta Bitch Barbie

She don't take no crap.
SHE DON'T TAKE NO CRAP!


With a pocketbook holding her pack of Newport Lights,
and a restraining order against Tupac Ken...

[SuaSponte]

I can't believe no one has mentioned the most hilarious (and most shocking) SNL commercial ever.

It consists entirely of shaky Handi-Cam film of the bodies of the Heaven's Gate (is that the name of those idiots who committed suicide so they could catch a ride on Halley's Comet?) cult members lying in their bunks. All the shots are waist down, and all you see is their identical sweat pants and Nike sneakers.

Overlaid is the opening verses of "Revolution" by the Beatles ("Revolution" was being used by Nike in a series of commercials at the time). Finally, there came a text-only screen and voice-over, both saying the same thing:

Reeboks. Worn by sensible, normal Christians.

Sua

[Kilt-wearin' man]

There was a commercial they did a few years ago, mid-'80s I think. It looked real, especially since no SNL cast members appeared in it and the production values were HIGH.

It featured an attractive young couple flirting with each other while leaning against a classic convertible. As they flirt, the camera randomly shoots his jeans, her cleavage, his shirt, her lips in a seductive half-smile, the tail-light of the car, etc. Then the camera pulls back as they get into the car and start to drive into the sunset. And the voiceover says:

"General Dynamics. The world leader in missile-defense technology."

The tag-line was the only way to tell that this was a fake...I was trying to figure out if it was a Levi's commercial, or a beer commerical, or maybe a cologne...

[scott evil]

The one with Roseanne as a credit card phone rep was great. "So then this guy calls up with this phony British accent and goes 'I lost my credit cahd at the aihpoht' and I'm like, 'I know who ya are!'" Classic.

And who can forget "Hey, hey, we're Adobe! The little car that's made out of clay?"

More recently, the one with Molly Shannon in the floor cleaner commercial describing how she originally married her husband to take him for everything he's got... she goes on to list her seedy past... at the end, a big smile and long shot of a sparkling floor.

- s.e.