Porkapalooza 2002 - The Aftermath

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Let’s try this again:

It was simply amazing. Great pork, great people, good times.

I wasn’t able to compile as many quotes as I had intended to because I sort of gorged on pig and then fell in the grass and got stuck for a few hours in stuffed-to-the-gills bliss.

But here we have, The Quotes:

It keeps dribbling down my chin. -Joey Hemlock

Does your mom know you do it? - Dynosaur

Squishy, Plunging Sounds - PorkDope HQ Mantra

If you fart on me it’s on, mister. - Jessica

I dont have the energy to fart. - Joey Hemlock

That picnic table was hard on my ass. - Jessica

Can I write on your…poop? - Malkavia

I will punch you in the side of the head. - Joey Hemlock

What is Mickey Mouse doing to that things ass? - Malkavia

We’re having the worlds laziest orgy. - Joey Hemlock

“You’re holding the flame too far away.”
“Yeah, that’s probably because I’m scared shitless of fire.”

  • lno trying to teach Dynosaur how to breathe fire

*“That was the best first blow.”
“…That wasnt her first blow.”[/i}

  • lno and Joey Hemlock critiquing my first attempts at firebreathing

I came here for the people, not the pork - rubes
(“LIAR!” we all shouted in unison)

Well, does this smell girly? - rubes

So, I was thinking about a Latin Scrabble game… - One of the friendly Digital River folks, iirc

“I can smell that from here and it’s not a good combo.”
"F** you, -I’m- eating it!"* - I could be mistaken, but I believe this had something to do with a Saurkraut s’more that lno ended up eating. Poor guy.

(Joey Hemlock wrote this while I wasn’t looking, so I’m not sure what he’s talking about:

Maeglin made and ate the first ever s’mork – graham crackers, toasted marshmallows, chocolate, Bac-O’s and Pork. He reported that the pork was a good addition but that the Bac-O’s were pretty bad.
And finally, quote of the day:

All beer and no play makes lno a drunk bastard.
Stay tuned for a Dopefest According to Malkavia post. But first, some tylenol.

I miss you all.
Also, I’m sorry I didn’t get to break your sink, lno, but I think I made up for it and then some by launching the shower faucet to a place beyond fubar. :wink:

2

Yeah, okay. I want you all to know that I TRIED to preview, but the boards ate my homework and then… uhh… Oh hell.

Sorry about the erroneous coding and random italics.

3

I’m probably the only person who ended up on sick call. But what the hell, it was worth it.

4

I get to take credit for the first line.

I had a great time at the 'palooza. I enjoyed the yummy pork, the yummy beer, and the great company. And some cheapass games. And I’m regretting not trying the firebreathing. Perhaps some other time.

5

Hi. I’m back home. Good times.
Report if I’m unlazy. Photos when I develop.

In other words, stick me with a cattle prod and I might respond. Otherwise, bedtime I go.

6

I’m not going to name the person, but one of my favorite quotes was:

“Oh, I’ve got a gut, I’m just holding it in right now”–nameless female doper

7

It was so great to meet so many new Dopers. It’s certainly restored my waning faith in Dopefest attendance.

I couldn’t possibly fit as many good things as I have to say about everyone in this post… so I’ll try to summarize.

Spankypup - I’m terribly in love with you. I want to roll around in the grass and play “herd the children with much gnashing of teeth” with you.

lno - You’re a close second. :wink: lno is an amazing guy. He juggles and breathes fire and has one of the coolest divdah collections known to man. In addition to being witty and adorable, he’s edging his way into my Favorite Doper Award. Unfortunately, I dont see him edging Spanky out of my top spot anytime soon.

WisestNovel - Doper most likely to have a search party organized for him. Thank you for showing me Minneapolis. Man, how about that 8 foot Leprechaun? How do YOU know he’s magically delicious?

Jessica - This girl is certainly a kindred spirit. She enjoys laying in the grass and smoking. My kinda girl. I’m -so- glad I got to meet you. You’re absolutely adorable and I love the purple dolphins with the daisies in their mouths that are indigineous to Alaska.

Chique - This girl made me feel -immediately- comfortable. She can put anyone in their element. Great girl. I look forward to getting up to her farm as soon as humanly possible. I miss Minnesota already.

Ender24/25/24 - Great guy. Ended up in alot of my PorkDope pictures. I think he may have been stalking me! grin

thinksnow - I’ve met before. Great guy. Great legs. I dont think we have much in common, except that we both know that the Marines kick the shizznit out of other military branches.

Joey Hemlock - I <3 Joey. So much. So good to see you again, kiddo.

Dynosaur - He didn’t win the Dumbass Doper award this time around… narrowly edged out by thinksnow lighting himself on fire. Anyhow… I’m glad he showed, it was well worth having you there, sweetie. =)

Maeglin - Fashionably Late Doper Award goes to Maegs. Still just as cool and collected as I remember, it’s always good to see your face.

absoul - Hella cooler than I would have imagined. He’s got a great sense of humor and a really disgusting t-shirt. Wtf is Mickey Mouse DOING?!

Punkyova - Sweetest Doper Award. Punky was great… I wish I could’ve spent more time with her.

Ivar - We didnt get to talk much… but you have the coolest big dog ever. Please tell him thank you for not shredding my favorite dog into little bitty Spankypieces. I really appreciate it.

Tripler - I Have Made Fire Award goes to Trip. Man, he’s got a great smile and lots of weapons. RAWR! He’s also very convincing and so I may have to set aside my dreams of aquiring an SKS and save up for a sig.

Spider Woman - Darling, DARLING Midwestern chicka. Very fun to chit chat with… I’m glad I got the opportunity to do so.

Newton Meter - Kickin ass all over the place. Saved a group of small children from the Wrath that is Spankypup.

Beadlin, imthjckaz, rubes, Rysdad, and easy e all seemed like good folks, I didnt really get a chance to talk to them as much as I would’ve liked to.

Digital River and lno’s family/friends were also great sports. Someone had a Cactus Jack shirt on. Oonst! And I think its… John… that was doing some pretty neat handstands-while-holding-a-plate-of-icecream.

Sir Oinks A Lot - You were delicious.

8

Awww, malkavia, you’re sweet and 'twas good to meet you too.

Hmmm. I was starting to envy you because you got to leave afterwards.

Can I use that as my motto? Maybe it needs just a bit of revision: “Proudly kickin ass all over the place, since 1971.” Anyway, keep embellishing that story. It was an entire kindergarten class. And I lost my right hand to the rabid beast.

That’s the truth. Kudos and much thanks to lno.

9

Woo! I did have a great time, even if I was a little quiet.

Friday Night:

My flight into Minneapolis was rather uneventful, and I was greeted at the airport by an anxious Chique and an excited Enderw24/25/24. We headed over to the MoA for dinner at Ruby Tuesday’s and drinks with malkavia and Wisest Novel, then back to the airport to pick up Caldazar.

After picking up Cal, we all managed to gather ourselves together and we were off for the Chique Farm. After 2,382 hours in the horrid afternoon/evening traffic, we stopped at a combination liquor store/pharmacy where I went in armed with a list, fifty bucks, and a check card to purchase enough alcohol to kill a horse. Loaded the liquor and beer, and to the Chique Farm we went.

I was a little scared of meeting Grampa at first, but upon our arrival at the Chique Farm I saw that absoul was already there and had paved the way. A couple of boxes of Copenhagen later, Grampa and I were pals. For those of you not in attendance at the Chique Farm, you missed Grampa and you missed out. He was GREAT.

Enderw24/25/24 and I decided we needed some cameras, so we headed back to the combination liquor store/pharmacy to purchase them while absoul and Caldazar helped Chique prepare ice cream and breakfast for Saturday. At this point I should say that Ender’s driving privileges should be revoked. He almost ran over a duck! At 90 miles per hour!

Anyway.

Wisest Novel joined us at the Chique Farm and Tripler soon made his grand appearance. Story telling, drinking, cigar smoking and poker playing commenced. I don’t know how to play poker, so I drank. Sadly, I missed the Friday night/EARLY Saturday morning hijinks because I managed to fall asleep around 2 a.m. Who says you can’t sleep in the bathroom? :smiley:

PorkDay:

After those of us at the Chique Farm began straggling out of bed, reheating breakfast, curing hangovers, waking Chique and searching for Ender, we loaded up and headed toward PorkDope Proper. During the drive, we were kept on track (and entertained) by absoul and Tripler with handheld radios. Thank God for handheld radios. That traffic was NOT fun.

lno was a wonderful host, and the pork was divine. (Even if I was a little freaked out by the strawberries in the eye sockets of the pig.)

Saturday had to be the best day EVER. Gorgeous weather, fantastic food, fantastic company, fire breathing, juggling, Spanky The Wonder Pup. . . how can you top that? You can’t, really, but I watched the boys play football and frisbee, which is pretty damn close.

After we stuffed ourselves with pig, malkavia, Joey Hemlock and myself took shelter under a shady tree to lounge and talk. We were dubbed ‘anti-social’ by Tripler - He Who Made Fire, but we ended up with a great bunch of folks lounging right along with us and having some good laughs while we watched God play frisbee. :wink:

Spider Woman, imthjckaz, malkavia, Newton Meter, Caldazar, Tripler, absoul. . . all the new people I met, it was great to meet you, and I certainly hope to see you all again sometime.

Chique, Joey Hemlock, Maeglin, thinksnow, lno, Ender, it was great to see all of you again.

I believe those of us who crashed at the Chique Farm on Saturday night were too tired and full of pork to participate in any (more) drunken debauchery. We were pretty much all out as soon as we got in the door.

Many thanks to lno for the shindig! Chique, thanks to you and Grampa for putting me up this weekend, or putting up with me. Tripler, thanks a bunch for taking me to the airport and making sure I made my flight.

PorkPorkPorkPorkPorkPorkPorkPorkPorkPorkPorkPork

10

Also… Caldazar, whom I’ve met before at DTF and STILL havent exchanged too many words with. We may have to revoke Jessica’s Quietest Doper Award for that boy.

11

She was totally lying, too.

12

I must say that yet after another Dopefest, I am reaffirmed that you people rock!!

lno thank you so much for the kickass time. The look on the chef’s face when I whipped out my bayonet was reason enough to go. Send me your snail-mail addy, and I’ll send you a li’l thank you card.

Chique, Ender, wisestnovelsub[/sub], Caldazar, Jessica, absoul, and Gramps, should I ever win the lottery, I would be remiss in not flying you out to my new ‘Rancho Oswaldo’ to party it up into another late night/early morning. Whatta riot! But what a bittersweet sorrow I felt when I had to watch Jessica dissapear into the growing security checkpoint line. Okay, it was only 5 or 6 deep at that point, but you get my drift. . . But I have to say that her rendition of “Mack the Knife” is to die for. Chique, thanks again for putting us up for the couple of nights. You really are the bomb!

Malk, save up for that Sig Sauer. Trust me. You’ll never look back. :smiley:

Punkyova, I now have a newfound thirst for knowledge in the Slovak language arts. And I simply must know who told you “I was the man for building fire.” Either someone’s a damn good bluffer, or they are stalking me. Either case, I am still strutting my stuff around the house, pounding my chest, going I . . . have made fire!. But the real thanks goes to you people who collected the firewood, saving me innumerable time. I’d have been running around for hours gathering that much wood. The real thanks goes to you guys. . . I’m just glad my meager training went to such a productive use. Just wait’ll I get into EOD school. :eek:

thinksnow, I still have difficulty mentally pronouncing your name as ‘think snow’ instead of ‘thinks now!’. Forgive me and my damned East Coast dialect.

Maeglin, you and I will simply have to sit down for a few beers with me while I’m here. Gimme an e-mail when you get back into town.

Easy E, I had no idea you were a chick. Of course, I don’t think you realized I knew what an angioplasty was. . .

Which brings me to the chicks of PorkDope 2002: Where the hell else can a single guy living in the middle of nowhere get to hang around such fine looking - nay - hot chicks and get away with it? :cool:

I have made fire, and look forward to doing it again.

Tripler
I’d do it all over again, even if I had to sleep in the truck all three nights.

13

So, Tripler, would that be two or three people sitting down to a beer? Will you have twice as many as Maeglin? If Maeglin can’t make it, will you sit down for a couple of beers with you? I can picture it now: “Oh no, bartender, that’s not for me, it’s for I.”

14

Ahem . . .

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
a tale of a great Pork Dope . . .
that started in a Twin Cities park
set up by lno.

Now he’s a fire-breathing man,
most others were demure.
But Dyno and malkavia
felt that they were sure.

The weather wasn’t at all rough,
only wisestnovel got lost.
If not for the crafty catering crew,
Spunky might have been lost.

The party kicked off on the edge of this enchanting golfing isle
With thinksnow, and Ender “2”,
Chique, Jess, rubes, and absoul. . .
Miss Punkyova. . . And easy e and Maeglin
Here at PorkDope '02.

But the closing theme. . .

So this is the tale of our Doper’s ways,
who were there for a long long time.
They made merry fun with pork things,
and a little beer in time.

A first rate party with cooking too,
which was the very best.
Made everyone so comfortable
in a Minneapolis nest.

Cell phones, sunlight, but no motor cars,
just some simple luxuries.
Like Emeri Lagassee,
it was as “BAM!” as it could be!

I’ll join y’all next year my friends,
for one sure-fire hell of a time.
With a bunch of lively Dopers’, HEY!
I’ll surely spend more time!

Tripler
Yes, I am on vacation. Does it show?

15

Trip, aren’t you just the coolest thing ever. =)

clap
I have the pics up and stuff.

http://www.electronic-rage.net/porkdope/

16

Sounds like y’all had a lot of fun!

I’m sorry I missed it… I won’t go into details about why I wasn’t there, I’ll just say: Imminent intestinal distress.

It weren’t purty.

rubesbaby, you made it out there!

17

Yes, I agree.

I think he sits there and gathers information for the book he’s gonna write, “Strange People and the Internet”.

18

What a great party! I had a blast, and was delighted to meet everyone. Now I’ll know who’s behind the typing! I’m already making plans for next year.
Mal - Thanks for the complimnet. Anytime you want advice on depositions, talk to me!

And Trip, ked chces, mozeme sa rozpravat po Slovensky. And, I’ll never tell! Although, I did get a kick out of the “gathering wood in the swamp” outing.

19

Perhaps a writeup later, but for now, here’re some photos.

It was a great time.

20

Thinks, the picture that you have marked as ‘rubes and Ender242524’ is actually absoul and Ender.