I really hope this is a joke site, still... a bit disturbing.

[Clever Hans]

There has been a fair amount of debate at my work as to whether or not this site is for real. I think it's fake just because of the sheer depravity of it if it is real, while my co-irkers believe it real because who would go to the trouble of making the site and not saying it is a joke (they don't understand subtle humor at all though). So without further ado here it is:

http://www.bonsaikitten.com/

Well fellow dopers what is the verdict?

[dorkusmalorkusmafia]

YUCK! Now that is just sick. It reminds me of the Twisty Cats(tm) however this one is horribly wrong even for that one.

However, I am sure this one is a joke because of the following statement: "At only a few weeks of age, a kitten's bones have not yet hardened and become osseous. They are extremely soft and springy. In fact, if you take a week-old kitten and throw it to the floor, it will actually bounce! We do not recommend that you try this at home. The kitten may bounce under the furniture and be difficult to retrieve, ..."

[malaka]

False

[Eats_Crayons]

Well-known hoax.

[ShibbOleth]

I recall many years ago a National Lampoon article, maybe by P.J. O'Rourke, about Bonsai Beef in Japan. Per the article the Japanese craze for beef and bonsai had been combined and they had engineered tiny cattle. Then you went to the restaurant and picked your own cattle from a tiny stockyard in the restaurant. Sort of like chosing a lobster at the local fishhouse.

[Myrnalene]

Originally posted by Clever Hans
...........my co-irkers believe it real because who would go to the trouble of making the site and not saying it is a joke......

Tell them it's to reel in suckers like them.

[lieu]

Make sure your friends have had their trees spayed or neutered.

[Rug Burn]

This is soooo cruel to these poor kittens. It is simply deplorable that anyone could treat a beloved pet in such a manner. I often wonder how they would like to be bound and tied until they die. Animals must be free to move about and enjoy their lives.

I didn't know what to do with my new kitten when I moved into an apartment and was faced with a $300 pet deposit. Finally, I got the landlord to waive the deposit by putting Frisky in an empty 5 gallon Ozarka bottle. Frisky is free to move about his little home and couldn't be happier, and I saved a cool $300.

[airdisc]

Oh for Christ's sake.

IT'S FAKE! NOT REAL! FAKE! YOU CANNOT DO THAT WITH A KITTEN!

When is the world going to learn?

[Celyn]

Well said airdisc!

Actually, this has been useful in reminding me of the Bonsai Kitten site, as I am trying (on a different board) to start light-hearted threads to keep some fighing - Pit-type threads from taking over. Hmm - I bet I find a few gullible ones getting on high horses. Or even Bonsai Horses.

[Tripler]

This brings back so many memories of Strange Brew . . .

[Bob MacKenzie Voice]
Wanna know how to get a free case 'o' beer, eh? You take a baby mouse, put it into a bottle, and like take it to da brewery for more beer.
[/Bob MacKenzie]

Tripler
I'm gonna steamroll you!!

[Mudshark]

Everyone knows that's a fake site. Everyone knows that you use ducks, not kittens.

[FisherQueen]

I think it's funny.

I also think it's a pretty obvious joke. If you read the copy instead of just looking at the pictures, it's clearly written for laughs. Many of the things they describe are impossible, most of them would certainly kill the kitten.

Just in case anyone takes them seriously, they also post warnings that their techniques are only to be performed by professionals.

I think those little kittens in jars are kind of cute, myself.

[ShanalaDee]

It is a joke. A very disturbing joke. It is disturbing in the fact that someone found it entertaining enough to make this site and others are finding it entertaining to look at. (not us mind you)It makes me wonder about us as a society.

Look at what are "hit shows" on tv; the reality shows. Hmmmm..

[chula]

The real humor is all the idiots who think it's a real site. Read the guestbook page if you want a laugh.

[pulykamell]

For Christ's sake. I don't want to be an a$$hole, but what morons could even for a moment believe this site. Newsflash, world:

99% OF THE INTERNET IS BULLSHIT. INCLUDING THIS STATISTIC.

We've had, what, ten years to get used to the world wide web, and I STILL get hoax virus e-mails passed on, hoax "send-a-postcard-to-a-sick-child-in-Kensington e-mails," hoax pictures of a guy in an anorak standing by the World Trade Center as the plane is about to crash into it, Bill Gates will pay you $1000 for passing on this e-mail, etc. For the love of Cheddar, it's all hot, steaming piles of horse dung. All of it.

Wouldn't you think that after being spammed for 10 years with crap like this, the population as a whole would one day wake up and say "Hey, ya know, maybe I should exercise a neuron or two this time and actual consider the plausability of this e-mail/website/etc, considering that the last 300 e-mails/websites/etc of this type I've seen proved to be hoaxes?"

This annoys me to no end. I got my first hoax e-mail virus in 1993, back in the days of telnet. With only a basic knowledge of computers, I figured "You know, this doesn't sound right. This e-mail says don't open an e-mail titled 'Party tonight' because it will give my computer a virus. How is that possible? I'm accessing my e-mail (via elm or pine) on a remote server and am simply getting text streamed back to me. I'm not actually downloading any files, so how could I possibly get a virus?" Sure enough, hoax. I don't expect everyone to think this way, but at least after the first couple times, you'd be expected to exercise a bit of skepticism.

Crimeney, Pavlov's dog would've figured it out by now.

[OpalCat]

This is about the 83rd thread about this site according to my count

Yes it is fake, and yes the photos are probably real, and no they are not cruel.

Why are they not cruel? Because kittens do that stuff all by themselves all the time. In fact, I can see this as a plausible scenario for the inspiration of the site: guy has a cute kitten. Guy has some sort of glass container. Kitten jumps into said glass container and looks all squished. Guy think it is hilarious and gets the inspiration to do something with that and make a website.

When Kaia was a kitten, she would climb into kleenex boxes. The little cube-shaped ones. She also sat in coffee mugs. You'd be amazed at the small things they can get into, and even turn around in.

[CRorex]

It's amaizing what people believe

bonzaikitten rocks! like man meat and ninja burger.

Lets face it, if people will believe that someone with the title of Prince in Nigeria is willing to split 25,000,000$ with them, they'll believe you can raise a kitten in a bottle.

[Shade]

It's fake, and kind of funny in a we-all-know-noone-would-ever-do-that kind of way.

The really sad thing is, some people probably would do it.

I hate humanity, sometimes.

[Jman]

I can attest to kittens getting in all sorts of odd situations. For instance, my cat Henry loved to climb between the glass sliding door and the screen door to my balcony. He would look smashed between the two doors, and look all freaked out....I have a few pictures. He did it all the time. Most of the time, he'd just back himself out, but sometimes, I'd have to open the glass door to let him out. (I never left the door open like that when I wasn't home.)

Jman

[The Ace of Swords]

Ok, it's wayyy over the line, and pretty disgusting, IMO. But obviously a joke:

From: Pablo Molein <pm@pulsin.com> Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000

I really do not like cats very much, they tend to smell funny (like a cat, or an old lady's house, or I guess a cathouse), and their fine fur makes me break out in hives. But I do like dogs. So my question is, can I get a Bonsai Puppy? Can I order him in the shape of a Pretzel or at least a Torus?



Dear Pablo,

One of my favorite stories as a child was that of "Pretzel the Dachshund." How I wish I had good news for you, but alas I do not. Feline bones are unique in that, like their visual system, they are not fully-formed at birth. This is the reason why the technique is possible with a kitten. A puppy's bones, like that of a baby, are not rubbery at birth, hence, a puppy will not bounce, and the proverbial "bouncing baby boy" is more of an alliterative quip than a reality. Genetically-engineered hairless kittens sometimes come onto the market, but they are quite expensive. You might try checking e-bay or a similar auction service to see if they are available at a discount. Best of luck with your allergies.

The Klein bottle was a tipoff as well.

[Mangetout]

When you're finished being perplexed and disturbed by Bonsaikitty, check out www.manbeef.com

[jackelope]

You can always spot a satirical site by the fact that it is pretty well-written and -edited. (See www.landoverbaptist.org.) People ignorant enough to actually contemplate anything along these lines can't write a sentence without "alot" or confusing "it's" with "its."