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  #1  
Old 09-25-1999, 02:54 AM
okatym okatym is offline
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Okay, I already came to the conclusion that my dryer is the entrance to another dimension completely occupied by single socks. I also think that somehow, tupperware lids make it there through a gateway in my dishwasher or in the back of my cupboard. Occasionally they come back out for a visit, get used a couple of times, and then they disappear again. I've gotten used to that.

But now, I'm a little worried. I've decided that the SDMB is the gateway to the "dimension of missing punctuation". I know I put a comma somewhere, and then after the post has been made, it is missing. It then surfaces in a completely DIFFERENT post where it is not needed.

Now, I don't want to scare anyone, but I think Art Bell should be notified.

Any thoughts?
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  #2  
Old 09-25-1999, 06:17 AM
The LION The LION is offline
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What you haven't noticed that phenomenon before?
It also happens in the washing mahine during the spin cycle.
I think the rapid rotation creates an artifical singularty (black hole).
Anybody have a better explanation ?

t lion
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  #3  
Old 09-25-1999, 11:22 AM
okatym okatym is offline
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Mr. Lion:
I think we have the makings of an episode of "Unsolved Mysteries".

Or maybe "Animaniacs".

Dibs (sp?) on royalties.
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  #4  
Old 09-25-1999, 11:31 AM
Shadowfox Shadowfox is offline
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No, no, no....it's not a portal to another dimension. It's the SOCK MONSTER! Geez, do I have to tell you guys everything?


Shadowfox
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  #5  
Old 09-25-1999, 11:48 AM
aseymayo aseymayo is offline
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Hey - I've noticed, superfluous commas showing up, from time to time in my posts, too! I thought it was a subversive action by my right brain - but now, I'm not so sure.

My theory on single socks - they don't really disappear. When you buy a pair of socks, you assume they match because they're packaged together - but they are actually from different dye lots. You wash them a few times and voila! two single socks that don't match any other socks you own. It's a plot, I tell you, by sock manufacturers!

Now the tupperware lids, they do drop into a black hole in the cupboard - I thought everyone knew that.
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  #6  
Old 09-25-1999, 01:01 PM
pluto pluto is offline
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I thought this all happened during "lost time" episodes -- like when I look for something and it's not there, then my wife looks and finds it right in plain sight. I don't recall any men in black around at the time, but then I wouldn't, would I?


p.s. I found some commas: ,,,,,,,,, If you can identify them you can take them.


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  #7  
Old 09-25-1999, 01:17 PM
Yankee Blue Yankee Blue is offline
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I had a friend who swore that all the pens he'd ever lost had somehow migrated to the fake drawer right under the kitchen sink. You know, it looks like a draer cosmetically but there's no way to open it...at least not from this world.
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  #8  
Old 09-25-1999, 03:44 PM
The LION The LION is offline
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Okatym
50/50 and you have a deal.

Peace
t lion
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  #9  
Old 09-26-1999, 12:45 AM
Persephone Persephone is offline
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My mom always told me it was a sock fairy that stole socks from the dryer. She also told me that there was a little gnome in the refrigerator that turned out the refrigerator light, too.

I'm older now, though, and a lot less gullible. The black hole/different dimension theory makes a lot more sense.
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  #10  
Old 09-26-1999, 12:53 AM
okatym okatym is offline
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No, that little gnome is the one who puts all that moldy, unrecognizable stuff in the corners of the refrigerator. He also makes it invisible until you are really hungry, or until your in-laws visit.
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  #11  
Old 09-26-1999, 12:58 AM
Persephone Persephone is offline
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Oh, so that's where the meatcake comes from!
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  #12  
Old 09-26-1999, 10:02 AM
PunditLisa PunditLisa is offline
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I don't mean to sound paranoid, but it's all a right wing conspiracy...
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  #13  
Old 09-26-1999, 10:12 AM
BurnMeUp BurnMeUp is offline
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Is this also related to the "I know I placed something right THERE just one minute ago, and now it cannot be found anywhere in the room" scenario?

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  #14  
Old 09-26-1999, 04:13 PM
Shirley Ujest Shirley Ujest is offline
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I believe when you die and you've been a good person while waiting in line for the Pearly Gates, you will receive every pen that your desk ate, every missing sock the dryer fairy stole, every set of car keys that hit a vortex of unknown the moment you put them down, every tupperware lid that the dishwasher ate, and anything your purse gobbled up, back.
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  #15  
Old 09-27-1999, 12:41 AM
Max Torque Max Torque is offline
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I have a theory about the "missing sock" phenomenon: I think the dryers of the world are being framed.

Really, how many times have you counted your socks after taking them out of the washer?
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  #16  
Old 09-27-1999, 12:44 AM
okatym okatym is offline
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Burnmeup:
Yes, that would be the refrigerator gnome's little sister, Paranoia. She does this to the same people over and over and over and....
She hides things right under your nose, (she's particularly fond of keys) and YOU KNOW something's up, but you can't ever prove it. Once she picks you, she bothers you forever. That's where we get the term "paranoid".
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  #17  
Old 09-27-1999, 08:48 AM
okatym okatym is offline
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Dear Shirley,
Now I'm depressed...Please don't tell me they have Tupperware in Heaven!! Or is this just the final "Gotcha"? I mean, what good are a lot of single socks and tupperware lids gonna do once we're dead? Yea, and who wants that yucky piece of gum from the bottom of my purse anyway? Does that mean we get bad breath in Heaven too?
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  #18  
Old 09-27-1999, 09:44 AM
Shirley Ujest Shirley Ujest is offline
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One of the few uses for Tupperware lids is that they make lame frisbees.
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  #19  
Old 09-27-1999, 09:53 AM
Coldfire Coldfire is offline
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Regarding misplacing stuff:

Does anyone remember that Twilight Zone episode called "The Minute Makers" or something ? Syntax: the world is being completely rebuild every minute by completely blue men - the Minute-Makers. We shift from one minute-world to the other without noticing. Occasionally, the Minute-Makers forget to place an object in a certain minute ("I'm ab-so-lute-ly POSITIVE I put my damn car keys on the fridge !!"), but they put it back again in the following minutes, realizing their mistake ("Hey !! See ?? They WERE here ! Or weren't they ? Am I going nuts ??").

I suppose everybody recognizes this scenario. The Minute-Makers explanation makes a lot of sense to me.

Coldfire

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  #20  
Old 09-27-1999, 11:09 AM
Atrael Atrael is offline
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Coldfire....I loved that episode...

My personal sock monster is getting braver...he'll not only take single socks from the dryer, he'll take entire pairs from my drawer. I'll go to get a pair for work and I'll be out, despite having done laundry the day before.
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  #21  
Old 09-27-1999, 01:41 PM
Fear Itself Fear Itself is offline
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My father was so obsessed with the missing sock phenomenon, he safety-pinned each pair together before he put them in the laundry!

Personally, I believe that socks are the larval stage of coat hangers; they metmorphose, migrate to my closet ever increasing numbers, then entangle themselves in a bizarre mating ritual.

To make more socks, I suppose....

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  #22  
Old 09-27-1999, 02:44 PM
Dirty Devil Dirty Devil is offline
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Coldfire - I was reading down this thread before I got to your entry and all I could think about was that same TZ episode. That is one of my favorite pieces of science fiction ever.

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  #23  
Old 09-27-1999, 04:37 PM
Rysdad Rysdad is offline
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Little known fact: The staple food of jeans is socks.
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  #24  
Old 09-28-1999, 12:18 AM
pluto pluto is offline
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Theey'rrre baaack!!

I just sent something to the printer, walked over to the printer to get it, picked it up, stapled it together, walked back to my desk -- and it was gone!!

Someone or something had laid it on a filing cabinet that wasn't even on the way from the printer to my desk! So whatever it is that's doing this, there's a nest of them around here and they're very active! I just hope they don't steal my keybo



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  #25  
Old 09-28-1999, 03:36 AM
Coldfire Coldfire is offline
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Dirty Devil:

Watchamean Science Fiction ?? It's the cold hard truth !!

*quickly swings around towards the hallway*

Was that a *blue guy* with my carkeys ???

Coldfire

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  #26  
Old 08-24-2000, 09:37 AM
Arken Arken is offline
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Are all of you people SURE this was a Twilight Zone episode? I've never seen it, but I remember hearing about it as an Amazing Stories episode.

Plus, the colour episodes of the Twilight Zone were very few.
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  #27  
Old 08-24-2000, 09:49 AM
Jester Jester is offline
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Naw, I've got the one explanation that works. I've noticed that no one has addressed the fact that commas reappear in other places, in other posts. This can't be explained by a black hole. No, dimensional portals are where it's at. At random interludes of posting, under certain conditions, perhaps when two posts are submitted at the same time, a portal opens up, carrying commas (which, as everyone knows, are very loosly rooted in space), and transports them from one post to another. It's the only way!

This may also work for the sock phenomenom. Ever notice how you sometimes end up with socks that you've never seen before? That's interdimensional travel, baby.
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  #28  
Old 08-24-2000, 10:05 AM
Robot Arm Robot Arm is offline
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I've always believed in a quantum theory of haberdashery. Now, classical mechanics would say that the dryer lint comes equally from all the clothes, and that the clothes all lose a small amount of mass. The quantum theory says that the sock is a fundamental unit of hosiery. As soon as enough lint has built up in the trap, *poof* one sock disappears.
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  #29  
Old 08-24-2000, 10:13 AM
fierra fierra is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jester
Naw, I've got the one explanation that works. I've noticed that no one has addressed the fact that commas reappear in other places, in other posts. This can't be explained by a black hole. No, dimensional portals are where it's at. At random interludes of posting, under certain conditions, perhaps when two posts are submitted at the same time, a portal opens up, carrying commas (which, as everyone knows, are very loosly rooted in space), and transports them from one post to another. It's the only way!

This may also work for the sock phenomenom. Ever notice how you sometimes end up with socks that you've never seen before? That's interdimensional travel, baby.

no, unca cece said there are only 4 dimensions & that anything else is the fevered imagination of lame sf writers....so it must be the sock monster (pratchett said it & I believe it...no, wrong bulletin board!).

Re the story, it sounds like a Stephen King one, where the world keeps getting remade, but thye fell through a crack in the previous one which was being eaten up by the langoliers (& they would get you in the real world if you didn't work hard enough)(actually blue men are in another pratchett story - it's a pratchett conspiracy...runs screaming from the post...)
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  #30  
Old 08-24-2000, 10:23 AM
Zebra Zebra is offline
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They do it!

It is a conspiracy. "They" have control of the factories that build the washing machines and dryers. "They" make these machines eat one sock. You then spend your time thinking about lost socks insead of realizing that "They" are taking over the world!

(don't tell them I told you)


Another wierd thing. Do you ever throw in the single socks with the wash. The washer or dryer NEVER eats the other one. They only take a sock that has a mate.
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  #31  
Old 08-24-2000, 10:26 AM
jab1 jab1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Arken [/i]
Are all of you people SURE this was a Twilight Zone episode? I've never seen it, but I remember hearing about it as an Amazing Stories episode.

Plus, the colour episodes of the Twilight Zone were very few.
It was from The New Twilight Zone, which ran on CBS from 1985 to '87, and all the episodes were in color. The episode in question starred Adam Arkin who later went on to Chicago Hope.
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  #32  
Old 08-24-2000, 10:29 AM
Carpe Felem Carpe Felem is offline
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Okay, what about butter knives?

Ten years ago I had fourteen butter knives, and now I'm down to six. I mean, where can a butter knife go? I eat in the kitchen. It's two steps from the flatware drawer to the table to the dishwasher.

I would like to hear a nice, tidy theory to explain this butter knife shortage.
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  #33  
Old 08-24-2000, 12:19 PM
fierra fierra is offline
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Re: Okay, what about butter knives?

Quote:
Originally posted by Carpe Felem
Ten years ago I had fourteen butter knives, and now I'm down to six. I mean, where can a butter knife go? I eat in the kitchen. It's two steps from the flatware drawer to the table to the dishwasher.

I would like to hear a nice, tidy theory to explain this butter knife shortage.
Butter knives are baby knives, when they grew up, their parents sent them to knife college to get a trade (I hear one of yours is going to become a fish knife!). They'll come home again if they need to get their washing done, but otherwise, that's the last you've seen of them. If you listen very hard, late at night, by the knife draw, you can hear their poor mother sobbing...never visits...cuts me to the quick that does...
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  #34  
Old 08-24-2000, 12:22 PM
clee_29 clee_29 is offline
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The REAL facts

All of you have it wrong..

After a really weird dream in which I talked to Schroedinger 's cat (see http://www.lassp.cornell.edu/~ardlou.../Schrcat.html) through a walky-talky, I've come to the following conclusion:

1) Due to Quantum Uncertainty's heretofore undescribed macroatomic effects, every single action that occurs causes a parallel universe to split off at every decision point in the universe - every time something happens, a universe is created where it didn't happen, or where something else happened instead.

2) The result is that we spend every second of our lives in a different universe, and there are jillions of copies of us in those other universes. The stream of consciousness up to the point of the split is unbroken.

3) Because of, you guessed it, that Uncertainty Principal again, our stuff doesn't always make it into the universe that contains the copy of us that we perceive to be ourselves - or sometimes it does, but at a later date.

But, then again, I've probably been watching too much bad TV.
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  #35  
Old 08-24-2000, 12:30 PM
clee_29 clee_29 is offline
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The REAL facts

All of you have it wrong..

After a really weird dream in which I talked to Schroedinger 's cat (see http://www.lassp.cornell.edu/~ardlou.../Schrcat.html) through a walky-talky, I've come to the following conclusion:

1) Due to Quantum Uncertainty's heretofore undescribed macroatomic effects, every single action that occurs causes a parallel universe to split off at every decision point in the universe - every time something happens, a universe is created where it didn't happen, or where something else happened instead.

2) The result is that we spend every second of our lives in a different universe, and there are jillions of copies of us in those other universes. The stream of consciousness up to the point of the split is unbroken.

3) Because of, you guessed it, that Uncertainty Principal again, our stuff doesn't always make it into the universe that contains the copy of us that we perceive to be ourselves - or sometimes it does, but at a later date.

But, then again, I've probably been watching too much bad TV.
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  #36  
Old 08-24-2000, 01:32 PM
KevinLeeC KevinLeeC is offline
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Re: The REAL facts

2) The result is that we spend every second of our lives in a different universe, and there are jillions of copies of us in those other universes

Just as an aside, John Barnes posited something like that in FINITY. He suggested, though, the the quantum events invovled in telecommunications were causing us to jump realities. As more people use telecommunications, the number and distance of the jumps goes up.

Something to think about next time you call home and the person who answers isn't your spouse.

KC
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  #37  
Old 08-24-2000, 01:54 PM
Skott Skott is offline
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You fools! Don't you know that you've bought into the greatest global conspiracy ever? The "missing" sock never actually makes it to the washer/dryer! It was devoured by the laundry basket as payment for the transportation!

Classic misdirection. The Illuminati would be proud... except they're victims as well.
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  #38  
Old 08-24-2000, 07:08 PM
relic_11 relic_11 is offline
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On the missing sock dryer phenemonon. It's a sacrifice to the athiest God, The IPU (Invisible Pink Unicorn. Don't believe me? How DARE you denounce my God?
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  #39  
Old 08-24-2000, 08:27 PM
screech-owl screech-owl is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by ThufferinThuccotash

Personally, I believe that socks are the larval stage of coat hangers; they metmorphose, migrate to my closet ever increasing numbers, then entangle themselves in a bizarre mating ritual.

To make more socks, I suppose....
Actually, Christmas ornament hangers (the little metal ones) are likely the embryonic or perhaps juvenile form of coat hangers - they're already pre-tangled in the box, in practice/play imitation of said adulthood rituals, and just as annoying to seperate.

The higher the intelligence, the more the necessity of play...
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  #40  
Old 08-25-2000, 01:08 AM
dewt dewt is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Robot Arm
The quantum theory says that the sock is a fundamental unit of hosiery. As soon as enough lint has built up in the trap, *poof* one sock disappears.
Dude, you rule.

Only I don't think it disappears. Remember, you can't just make things 'disappear'. I believe that it is used to make wire hangers.

Try this litte experiment:

1. You must first weigh all of your socks and underwear to the nearest tenth of a gram.

2. Weigh two wire hangers and place them in an otherwise empty closet.

For a period of two years, do not open the closet door.

At the end of the experiment, you will open the closet door and find a tangled mass of wire hangers. You should also find that the missing mass of the socks equals approx the weight of your new wire hanger collection.

I think the process is not reversable.
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  #41  
Old 08-25-2000, 05:53 AM
Kid_Gilligan Kid_Gilligan is offline
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A somewhat less metaphysical explanation

Now that I've caught my breath from the wire coat hanger sub-thread, I think I have an explanation that requires somewhat less of a stretch of the imagination.

How many times have you tried matching socks and found that you had two socks left; one black, one dark navy.

No sock has disappeared. One has simply changed colors subtly. I suspect that sock manufactures must use two different yarns for each pair of socks, but dye them all in the same vat. Since the different yarns have different degrees of color fastness, they slowly begin to match less well with each repeated washing.

So, while you think you've lost two socks, one black and one navy; in fact they were a pair, but never will be again.


P.S. My 12 y.o. stepson and I are starting a website. Check it out http://www.geocities.com/assistant_uwc
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  #42  
Old 08-25-2000, 07:03 AM
The Asbestos Mango The Asbestos Mango is offline
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The sock/coathanger connection is bullshit. Socks do not metamorphose into coathangers. The coathangers are mating and breeding in your closet. The late Erma Bombeck described this phenomenon in one of her columns.

Now...

Sometimes the socks come back. I have gotten into the habit of tossing my socks that have come unmated due to the Laundry Phenomenon into a box. I periodically go through the box and match socks up with mateless socks in this week's laundry. I have about an eighy percent success rate in re-matching socks. The process takes time, you won't be able to re-match socks with each weeks laundry, but eventually most of the lost socks do return...
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  #43  
Old 08-25-2000, 07:31 AM
Erika Erika is offline
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I'd have to go with interdimensional travel. There's no way that my missing socks are transmutating into my other socks from the use of different yarn. I refuse to believe that one of my currently absent socks, gray with orange goldfish, has faded into anything but a light gray sock with peach goldfish. I sincerely doubt that it has become an olive green argyle, the other sock that currently lacks a match.
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  #44  
Old 08-25-2000, 11:57 AM
Hedgehog Hedgehog is offline
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We have one washer and one dryer in our building, and I think they must both be portals through which my socks disappear. Almost every time I do a load of wash, I notice a stray screw lying in the washer or dryer when I remove my clothes. At first I thought that those old machines must simply be falling apart, but I have found at least 15 screws of different size and shape, and the machines still work.

My socks have always gone missing in the wash here and there, but after reading this thread, I have come to the conclusion that both of those laundry machines are gateways to some parallel universe that desparately needs one sock from every pair I own. The theives then leave me a loose screw in exchange for each sock. Maybe screws are valuable currency in their world and they consider it a fair trade, or they just have a lot of screws to spare and think it's funny to watch me try to figure out where the hell all the screws keep coming from. One thing is for certain - the proprietors of that universe must have a project or program for stray socks like no other, because mine never come home.
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  #45  
Old 08-25-2000, 01:47 PM
Carpe Felem Carpe Felem is offline
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Ne'er-do-well butter knives

[QUOTE]Originally posted by fierra
Quote:
Their parents sent them to knife college to get a trade....They'll come home again if they need to get their washing done, but otherwise, that's the last you've seen of them.
Hmmm...OTOH, once they find out how hard it is to land a job out in the cut-throat world, even with an iron-clad degree and a cutting-edge education, they may come back to the only home they've ever known and spend years lounging around the knife drawer, living off the flatware of the land.

But this is getting a little off-topic. I'll say no more on the subject.
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  #46  
Old 08-25-2000, 02:26 PM
ASD ASD is offline
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What, none of you have ever read _The Borrowers_?
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  #47  
Old 08-25-2000, 03:31 PM
Ice Scream Cone Ice Scream Cone is offline
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yea rite ya'll

whatcha all been thinking? huh? the real reason is that they all get seperated into different wash sessions, and ya'll aren't intellegent enuff to realize it.
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  #48  
Old 08-25-2000, 04:35 PM
cerberus cerberus is offline
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The washer-dryer units form a collective event horizon. Socks are selectivly admitted and converted to super-string matter for parallel universes.

In fact, this universe is composed entirely of lost-sock matter from other universes.
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  #49  
Old 08-25-2000, 04:58 PM
Breen Breen is offline
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You people are obviously clueless. Butter knives and socks and the like don't just disappear. What you need to realize is that you are all just figments of my imagination. You don't exist, ergo, your butter knives and socks don't exist either, and since they don't exist, they can't disappear.
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  #50  
Old 08-25-2000, 08:53 PM
JCVS98 JCVS98 is offline
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SOCKS

YEAH THATS RIGHT, NOW I KNOW WHERE MY SOCKS ENDED UP, ONE NIGHT WHILE I WAS WATCHING THE NEWS. I KNEW MY SOCKS WERE COVERING THE OSCARS THAT WERE STOLEN. YOU CAN TELL WHEN ITS YOUR DIRTY LOUNDRY.
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