I keep going back and forth trying to decide if this pissed me off unreasonably or not.
I saw a Dodge Viper in a handicapped parking spot. Now here’s the thing: Yes, it did have both handicapped plates and one of those handicap symbol things that hang from the rearview mirror.
I pointed this out to a coworker, bitching at the audacity of such a thing, and he asked me “why do you care? Just because the guy has a Viper doesn’t mean he’s not handicapped.”
I sputtered for a few minutes looking for some kind of comeback to justify my ire. Even though I couldn’t come up with anything, I knew I was still right, so I just called him an idiot for the time being.
Now several hours later, I have it figured out.
By definition, if you are driving a Dodge Viper you are not handicapped.
I state that as a categorical truth.
I don’t care how messed up you are, if you are driving a Dodge Viper then you’re not entitled to anything else.
Isn’t it enough that you have a Viper? Now you want the good parking spaces, too?
The audacity! The thing that really pisses me off is that I’m just sure in my gut, that the guy with the Viper is some jerk who pretended to get whiplash and won a big lawsuit. He used the money to buy a Viper, and though there’s nothing wrong with him he collects disability, and even gets the handicapped space.
Really pisses me off. You have a Viper. You’re fine. Park like everybody else.
You’re losing it. Get a fucking grip. I"m fucking sick of people ragging on disabled parking. Why don’t YOU trying being disabled for a while and see how fucking funny or smart assed you are about it? The fucking ignorance and insensitivity is astounding.
So what if he/she was driving a fully customized minivan with Berber carpeting in the back, deluxe sound and jeweled dice hanging from the rear-view mirror?
People who drive Vipers should get their own parking spaces. They should be at least twice as wide as normal parking spaces and really, really close to the store entrance.
Yeah, Scylla, you can’t really judge people by their cars. Well, a monster truck with one meter of ground clearance may be a bit of a stretch, but a Viper? Unlikely, yes. Impossible, no.
Don’t worry, he’s probably a really awful person who deserves whatever affliction he has.
Maybe if you’re really lucky, moral justice is served by the fact that his disability is accompanied by stupefying pain. Then it sort of balances out that whole Viper thing. I’ll cross my fingers for you.
I think all he’s saying is that a Viper is a strange choice for a handicapped person. You’d think their discomfort could be eased through employing a van or pickup or some commodious vehicle instead of a very cramped and very dangerous race car.
Abuse of handicapped spaces is rampant here in my town. There was a picture in the paper last week of a handicapped guy looking in someone else’s car window at his sticker which had been stolen a month or so back. When the driver appeared, he admitted he’d bought it for a couple of hundred bucks but that he didn’t feel bad because everybody does it.
If that’s the case in Scylla’s town, the scroat should be de-testicled. If not, then I’m glad some unlucky fuck caught a break.
OK, well here’s my stereotype, since you saw fit to assume that anybody driving a Viper could not possibly be handicapped:
I feel it is safe to say that you are probably a fat, lazy, pathetic and jaded individual that would be better served by not worrying about who gets the closest parking ,but rather getting out of your Tempo and walking away some that pudge., even if it means having to walk those god-forsaken 20 extra feet to front door of McDonalds. If you are not careful, you could easily end up with some malady such as diabetes that may make you handicapped and the subject of some other insensitive sot’s derision.
I dunno. I’m perfectly healthy, and I sat in a Viper once. (Just once, mind you. I’ll probably never get close to one again.)
I had a devil of a time getting back out of the thing. While you’re in there you are basically half-reclined, and exiting requires some hoisting and contorting.
I think someone truly handicapped to the point of being unable to walk well wouldn’t have a really good time getting in and out of one.
I think it’s unreasonable of you to criticize the fellow for his choice of vehicle.
[hypothesis]
Perhaps the settlement from the accident which deprived the owner of this vehicle of his legs, and left him in constant pain, was enough to buy this fellow’s dream car - but he’d gladly drive a Yugo if he could have his legs back.
[/hypothesis]
I knew a BBS sysop (forget his name) in the Seattle area who lost one of his lower legs and bought a 'Vette with his settlement cash. He could walk with his prosthesis, painfully, and he’d had to lift his trouser leg on occasion to mollify the occasional glares he’d get. He didn’t want his Vette to get keyed, after all.
I know, the disabled aren’t cool enough to own nice cars. I think that whenever I see that Jaguar parked in the handicapped spot next to mine at work.
See, here’s my theory why people when handicapped placards shouldn’t own nice cars:
[ul]
[li] Vipers don’t have room for a wheelchair. Honestly, if you’re not in a wheelchair, what are you doing in the handicapped spot?[/li]
[li] Handicapped people are on SSI disability. How dare they spend the state’s money on a nice car instead of whatever handicapped people are supposed to buy![/li]
[li]If their legs are too disabled to walk long distances, then how hard can they push on the gas peddle? A car like that is meant to be driven, not gimped along in the slow lane like a granny![/li]
[li]Disabled people look funny. Hot cars are for hot chicks, or for middle-aged, paunchy, balding guys to attract hot chicks.[/li]
[li]They get the handicapped parking spots (that they paid for, the DMV don’t just hand those placards out to anyone who asks, y’know), isn’t that enough??[/li][/ul]
From this point on, I think car dealerships should be a lot more choosy on who they sell what cars. Hot cars to hot people, mid-size sedans and minivans to family people, Caddys and Buicks to old people, 1982 GMC Rally Wagons to wheelchair people.
If you had ever seen a pic of Scylla you’d realize how goofy this statement was; however, I agree with you.
Scylla is usually kind of amusing, but this post totally missed the mark. It’s almost as if he’s implying that someone with a handicap doesn’t deserve a Viper. Absurd.
Go ahead, tell me what else disabled people don’t deserve. Come over and tell me what kind of house is too nice. Should disabled people live in big houses with extra bedrooms? Are pools OK? Big backyards? Two-car garages? Let me guess, additional stories are too extravagant because they can’t climb stairs, disabled people should only own ranch-style homes. Small, ranch-style homes. Tell me what kind of clothes are too nice. May disabled people wear designer labels? Or should we only buy off the rack at Wal-Mart? Is jewelry ok? Make-up? Or is that just trying to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear? Is this stuff wasted on the disabled?
My fucking God. How pathetic to be jealous of a disabled person because he has a nicer car. How petty to assume he’s screwing the system. If he has a job, he can spend his money on any fucking car he wants. Even if he’s collecting disability insurance, guess what, he can spend the money on any fucking car he wants! If his doctor has signed the DMV forms and he has paid the fee for the placard, he can parking wherever the fuck he wants! Oh, you want to be really jealous? In Oregon, people with placards don’t have to pay for parking meters, either. And they don’t have to move their cars every two hours. We can park wherever the fuck we want for as fucking long as we want and it’s fucking free!!! Suck on that.
And I’d trade it all to be able to walk 10 feet. I’d trade it all to be able to stand, to run, to work in my yard, to cook dinner, to hold my cat, walk my dog, to raise my hand over my head, or to drive. Yeah, I can’t even drive my own fucking car. But, while I’m riding with my husband, I can park wherever I want. Yeah, that makes up for everything.
I happen to know a handicapped individual who is absolutely not drawing SSI as somebody suggested. He in fact used the money he received in settlement for his car accident to get an education and is now a CPA. He also has a very nice, brand new, decked out (minimal use of his legs, therefore it has been modified to suit him)Dodge Ram that he is paying for with is 75k income (not SSI) and he uses a wheelchair here at work, crutches when he has to drive somewhere. I can assure you that he needs that up close parking, but he is not by any means screwing any of you selfish bastards out of your due in life.
Spend a little more time counting your blessings, why don’t you.
And for the record, I guess I don’t know Scylla, so I may have been off in my stereotype. But then, most stereotypes do tend to be off the mark, more often than not.